Workplace Conversations Can Mean Workplace Security

Do you feel safe at work?

I was reading Wally Bock's  post about workplace safety. Wally was stimulated by an article from the Wall Street Journal that talked about the need for bosses to confront troubled employees. (This was written partially as a result of the tragic situation at Virginia Tech).

Wally took it further and said, rightfully, that bosses ought to be talking regularly with all employees because it contributes to productivity. There's more than enough research and experience to validate that.

But how about the importance of conversation as preventive action?

Humans are built for relationships. Being connected in some way to others makes us feel alive and part of the greater whole. If you're reading this now, it's partially because you want to be connected. I know that's one of the reasons I write. And when the comments start rolling in--even if they disagree with me--I get an increased sense of well-being as a result of the conversation. It indicates that I am in relationship with someone else. That I am alive.

Ongoing conversation between people at work serve at least two important functions:

1. They help enhance our sense of worth and life by being an accepted and contributing part of a community
2. They give people cues as to how our life is going

The first is literally a preventive function. By being included--or "part of the conversation"--our need to belong is met, at least in part.  When our most basic needs are being satisfied, we feel more satisfied.

The second provides a chance to ring the alarm in the minds of our colleagues. If something is wrong, they may very well sense it and listen for the level of severity.  When we've established relationships through conversation, we're more likely to believe there is help in the form of those around us.

But without ongoing interaction, neither can take place.

And that's why I think workplace conversations are important. I know that, in the case of performance conversations, a lot of bosses find it difficult to confront poor performers. Yet think about your answer to this question:

Who are the people in your life who you trust the most?

They are the ones who care enough to confront you. Who say no when they mean no. Who tell you when you're not performing up to par. And that's why you trust them.(You usually know when you're not doing things well and lose respect and trust when not confronted). They're also the people who celebrate your successes and give encouragement.

Tragedy and harm have been part of life since the beginning of time, and will continue to be. How many incidents does it take before people will understand that someone deranged and bent on destruction will succeed. But those incidents, when compared with the number of happenings during the course of one's lifetime, are not the norm. They are, however, huge in their impact, publicized in every medium, and sad beyond belief.

What makes them so sad and horrific lies behind the question we immediately ask:

Why?

What we're really baffled about is how someone --like us--could have fallen so out of relationship with fellow humans as to do something heinous. Why couldn't this person see the possibilities in life?  Why didn't someone see this coming? In some cases, why didn't I see this coming?

Most of all, I think the deepest question becomes, "Why is life--and its relationships--so frail?"

And what do we do to cope? We starting talking about it. We have conversations. When faced with tragedy, we strengthen our current relationships and build new ones.

Walls can keep people out and alarm systems will warn us that danger is imminent.

But healthy relationships built through healthy conversations offer us internal security. They remind us that we're alive and that tomorrow we have people who will help us through another day. They build the kind of community that knows when one of its members is having a bad day and can lift that person up instead of letting them fall down.

Conversations are good for productivity. They mean something to the people doing the work. And they can mean a lot more--even safety and security.

Would today be a good day to start the conversation that you've been putting off?

    

Comments

[Jim Stroup]

Steve:

Conversations and relationships – this is a big topic – something you have a knack for opening. As an American living in Istanbul, I am often called upon to answer for the impression people get that violence is so prominent a part of our culture. I try to explain that much of it originates in the flip side of the coin of individualism that is the source of so much of our strength and that has helped us contribute so much.

Societies in this part of the world are organized, generally, in accordance with one form or another of collectivism. That is, a collective group is viewed as the entity of account – family, clan, tribe. Indeed, when I lived and travelled deeper in the Middle East, I sometimes had an eerie feeling that I wasn't speaking with individuals, but being regarded by one face of a many-faceted eye, each of which was consulting with and integrating the impressions of the world gathered by the others.

It can be disorienting for us in the West, particularly in the US, to be confronted with this sort of experience. But we should be careful to avoid the impression we so easily assume that we have figured it all out, or, at least, that we are on the only track worth pursuing – or further along it – for effective organization of society. For example, I'm from Detroit, and am often puzzled that people would express concern from my safety when I move from a city with its reputation to one like Istanbul, which is both the biggest and the safest city in Europe.

No question about it, we have learned a lot, and have stumbled upon a good deal more that is of value; we should work to share it with the world. But we ought to do it with some humility, and be on the lookout for lessons there to be learned by us – they are there to be found aplenty. Moreover, we should not be surprised that as our cultural values spread around the world, they bear fruit of all kinds. This, really, is what is behind much of the cultural backlash we face overseas.

As sad a part as any of this is that the perpetrator at Virginia Tech was from one of these collectivist cultures, committing his heinous act in our individualist culture. With this puzzle in mind, your readers may want to see this opinion piece from the WSJ by a Korean observer (http://online.wsj.com/article/SB117736555268279563.html?mod=opinion_main_europe_asia), justifying the relentlessly collectivist expression of grief and sorrow over this event to a puzzled American population.

Conversations and relationships are the building blocks of societies and organizations as well, and entering into them fully – contributing, observing, listening – certainly does make us both more productive and safer on so many levels. An important topic and important points; thank you for opening it, and for offering them.

[Viji]

I agree with you Steve. Good conversation builds healthy relationship. Sometimes it is very difficult to judge a person. Once you judged him and have some trust, you will feel like sharing your personal info with him because you feel comfortable with them. But sometimes, it turns on the other side too. My point is not to up set with this, and move forward till you find good people. Great post Steve, as usual. YOu have told this in a very positive way. Thanks for posting. Viji