Change and "Hurry Sickness" at Work

  This article is the twenty-first in a series about Change from Steve Roesler.

"There is a thing called Hurry Sickness; we literally make ourselves sick by hurrying all the time to get too many things done -- work and personal stuff. Having too much to do seems to be so much a part of our lives these days that we just take it for granted and accept it..."

Jim Bolt at Fast Company wrote that when he realized just how much work he was doing at home on Sunday.

I'm not sure about the source of Jim's overload, but I am sure that it's something you and I can relate to without any difficulty.

Change and Hurry Sickness

When you're at your best, doesn't it feel as if you've got a rhythm or a groove going? (Just like the drummer in your favorite band).

Change interrupts our personal groove. When we make organizational changes, everyone's "inner drummer" starts pounding out a different beat until the groove comes back.

Does your organization allow time to regroup, rehearse, and learn the new arrangement?

If not, the very people wanting to initiate change may very well get in the way of success.

Cynical About Change

U.K.-based Management Issues took a look at the results of a survey done by virtual business school Pentacle. See if these findings strike a chord with you:

• More than eight out of 10 managers surveyed believed that too many projects failed to result in anything that improved the profitability of their business.

• And more than three quarters of senior managers underestimated the stress of repeated initiatives or how much such a regime of "permanent revolution" could unnerve their staff.

The Emotional Cycle of Change: This Week's Focus

I mentioned the work on death and dying done by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross in a recent post about "Spirit and Change."  The more I thought about it, the more I realized that it's not only important to understand but it serves as a practical diagnostic tool for any change you might be experiencing now. Here's what it looks like:

Join in the application and discussion this week...and add your own experiences and insights along the way!

If you enjoyed this and are involved with changes in worklife or life in general, I think you'll enjoy reading:

What Style Do You Use to Manage Change?

Making Changes: Does Everyone Know Why? Part I

Making Changes: Does Everyone Know Why? Part II

Tom Haskins' Problems With Making Change

How to Thrive on Change from Dr. EQ, Galba Bright

Comments

[Tom Haskins]

Steve:
Thanks for taking us deeper into the emotional realm. I've helped several clients get out of depression when their lives called for an unwelcome change. In hindsight my successes tie into picturing their depression as a lack of expression. Life has negated, stifled or opposed their expression to excess. They are silenced, censored and their minds have gone blank. In Kubler-Ross's model, their bargaining failed to establish their favored opposition to the pending change. They did not succeed at stopping, undoing or changing the change -- after coming out of denial that the change was occurring inevitably.

All I do is restore their voice, validity and viewpoint. I give them the space to express themselves from their heart, inner passions and sense of deeper purpose. That invokes some bargaining, re-negotiation and recapitulation on their part. Their previous obstacles become challenges and threats appear as opportunities to explore. As they rethink their troubled stance in the presence of the change that's occurring, they change their minds. Then they are "being the change" and changes happen around them without forcing revisions. Circumstances are transformed by their new presence of confidence, self expression and underlying purpose.

[Wally Bock]

I was fortunate to grow up with a mother who taught me many important lessons. One of the most important was that everything that occurs is an occasion to make something good of it.

No matter what the situation, my mother would always ask: "What good can we make of this?" When she was diagnosed with cancer she followed her own advice and asked that question.

The year was 1968 and chemotherapy was new and even more awful than now. For the next fourteen years, outliving every prediction of every physician she saw, she kept a diary of her days and reaction to the chemo.

When she died, her will stipulated that the diary go to her oncologist to help him understand the day to day realities of chemotherapy and to help others. It was her way to answer the question: "What good can we make of this?"

When change happens to good people, the ones who seem to deal with it best and move through the cycle you've diagrammed most effectively are those who find ways to make good of it. My friend Shaun Kieran works with people in what he calls "desert island jobs," jobs they hate but don't feel they can leave.

His first strategy dealing with a client is to help them understand that they have control over many things. Then he works on finding the "good." Sometimes that means leaving. Sometimes it means finding a way to make the desert bloom on that island. Sometimes it means setting to work building a raft.

The key is a sense that you control some things about the situation and then concentrating on using those things to improve it.

[peter vajda]

Thanks, Steve, for this post…deep and necessary.

Some thoughts:

I use the Kubler-Ross work with coaching clients as the need for it arises in the client. One thing that’s important to know is that the emotional cycles-or reactions are not linear and arise as they do and when they do as a function of how deep the emotions are seated in the person’s psyche and soul. People often shift between several cycles short-and long-term as they experience change and the grief process.
-----
One clinical definition of depression is “anger turned within.” So, yes, the individual feels frustrated, stifled, paralyzed, etc. When I support such individuals my coaching process asks the client to inquire inside at the source of their anger; often it is linked to some aspect of their feeling lacking or deficient, that is, their sensing a palpable lack of self-worth or self-value in some way, shape or form and their anger at this self-image they have taken on.

The process supports the individual to explore, through a formal process of Inquiry, dialogue and proprioceptive writing, their feelings attached to their depression, feelings which often reveal various AHAs or insights as to what’s underneath their depression. No need for me to tell, train, fix, educate, advise, explain, etc. Most often "get it" and see it after some time in the process.

Once the client “sees” the underlying source of the depression, their sadness and anger often arise (quite viscerally), so does their soul’s qualities of strength, courage, wisdom, will, steadfastness, compassion, determination, as the process continues which brings them from a place of being "at effect" (feeling victimized, unworthy, unable, etc.) to a place of being "at cause" where they can move forward in their life.

It’s at this place that we channel the energy of the anger (it's just energy, which the "ego-mind" wants to ursup as negative based on self-defeating beliefs, self-images, etc.) into a positive direction in terms of steps the individual can take, emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually toward positive change, as driven by the True and Real Self, their Authentic Self, not the manufactured self who they "think they are."

At this point, the individual then has more capacity to accept the reality of the loss or change, experience the pain of the loss or change, adjust to the new environment without the lost object, person, place, circumstance, and energetically reinvest in their new reality.

At this point, here is where “acceptance” comes into the equation…..that is, it’s the first step of the process, not the last. When one understands that the deeper nature of their sense of lack and deficiency is within, and how their sense of lack and deficiency it associated with something or someone external, they then come more “into themselves”, fill their own “hole of deficiency and lack” with their own real sense of self and are more able to release their attachment to whatever external (person, object, etc.) held or got them emotionally, physically, mentally, and/or psychologically hooked. The energy of the anger shifts to strength and positive energy at which time they are more able to become detached (read: not unattached. Not unlike the Buddhists who believe all pain and sufferinfg comes from attachment.) Change, from this internal, more spiritual place, is not so daunting, threatening, or scary and one is not passisve-aggressive when it comes to bargaining, accepting, etc. It's not easy, quick or fun. But, it's do-able for many, not all. Finally, the intensity and duration of the one's reaction to change depends on how significant the change-produced "loss" (that leads to the depression, resistance, etc.) is perceive, by the beholder of the change...not the one instituting the change.

In the workplace, if more folks understood the dynamics of change and what’s really, really underneath resistance and often resulting depression, perhaps change and change management would/could result in more positive outcomes.

[Steve Roesler]

Tom,

I am really struck by "restore their voice". That is a powerful phrase as well as a powerful intervention.

While reading your piece, it occurred to me how much time is often needed to allow people to bargain--or "shadow box"--until their emotional arms get tired. It's at that point that they become ready to move on and re-think their position.

Do you find a similar dynamic during your work?

[Steve Roesler]

Your mother was clearly a very special woman, Wally. First, for her outlook and its example. And secondly, for the fact that it remained as a legacy that still influences your life and, no doubt those around you.

As for the sense of control: that's what we're all after. Identifying and acting on what is in our control is, indeed, the healthy way through the cycle (life!) Your friend Shaun provides a useful service by helping clients use that approach.

BTW: Was there ever a response from your mom's oncologist regarding her journey during those many years?

[Steve Roesler]

Peter,

I am so glad to hear you bring up the "anger turned inward" definition of depression, as that is often the conversation that I, too, have with clients regarding feelings of depression. And it proves useful in generating action because of the power of anger mobilized.

The idea of "starting off" with acceptance is a valid one since it deals with reality. My fondness for the model is a result of seeing people get to that place (acceptance) as a result of seeing the process, having a quick intellectual understanding of it, and then being validated for how they are feeling. Since the whole thing isn't linear (as you point out), different depths of acceptance and understanding take place in order to get to a point of peace.

Also: I have a couple of corporate clients who have made large posters of the model and put them in meeting rooms when they start--or are in the midst of--major changes. These are managers who really "get it" and took time to internalize the process and refer to it using language that matches what is happening at the moment. They are the exception rather than the rule.

[Wally Bock]

There were two responses from the oncologist. First was thanks expressed in a note. Beyond that he incorporated parts of the journal into his training at the teaching hospital where he was on staff and used it as a partial source for a journal article.

[Galba Bright of Tune up your EQ]

Hello Steve:

This is a very profound series. Tom's and Peter's comments show that people can be helped to transform themselves when they internalise the need to change. Wally's story about his mother seems to me to be an object lesson in selflessness. Her willingness and ability to reflect on her experience must have helped many people to endure, as well as learn.

I seek to live in a way where I embrace all my experiences as learning experiences. It's not always easy, however, it can be very rewarding.

Thanks for link, along with the honorary doctorate :)

[Steve Roesler]

Your so right, Galba, it's not always easy--but rewarding.

I like what you say: "people can be helped to transform themselves..."

So often we wait for someone else to do the work that we have to do--and of course, it can't happen.

As for the doctorate, no problem. You simply have to come to New Jersey now and deliver an acceptance speech :-) (We'll throw a party afterward)

[Tom Haskins]

Thanks Steve. You're metaphor of "shadow boxing" proved to be a rich one. I came up with a long answer and added it to my blog.
http://growchangelearn.blogspot.com/2007/11/changing-by-shadow-boxing.html

[Jim Stroup]

Steve,

As you well know, with this post you are directly addressing an aspect of change at the personal that is overlooked - or even contemptuously dismissed - by many change managers, and even change consultants. To many, it is all wire diagrams and synergies. But as you also well know, most change initiatives fail - and their failure can often be traced to not having addressed what you are doing here. I look forward very much to seeing your line of thinking develop, here.

Thanks!

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