Change Reactions: Your Emotional Cycle, Part I

  This article is the twenty-second in a series about Change from Steve Roesler.

      

        “Experience is not what happens to you. It is what you do with what happens to you.”
            --Aldous Huxley

What do you do with what happens to you?

And if you're managing, how do you bring other people through major changes productively?

It always helps to have a model--especially a visual one--to make sense of what doesn't make sense at the moment. Yesterday's article generated some profound and useful comments amount the Emotional Cycle of Change.

Today we'll look at the stages of transition through which we all travel and the emotional responses associated with those. These apply to both personal and organizational changes. Why? Because organizational changes are always personal.

Sometimes it's just plain comforting to know that what you are experiencing in the midst of a change is perfectly normal. It doesn't mean you are crazy, even though it may feel that way.

The challenge: Understanding where you are, what you can't control, and identifying and acting on what you can control.

Organizational Stability:

I'm not sure when I last saw long-term stability in large organizations. But for the sake of our learning, let's assume that things are moving along pretty well. People are content with what they are doing and how they are doing it. Life is good.

The Change:

Something new happens that causes disequilibrium. There are two normal responses:

1. The ever-popular Denial. This comes in the form of shock, confusion, and suspicion. "This isn't really happening."

2. Anger & Seeking Justice. "Let's get and punish the weasel responsible for this!"

Please note: It is happening and you will not punish the weasel--assuming that there is one. Talking with friends and associates feels good and is even cathartic for a little while. Getting stuck here will give you cardiac arrest or get you arrested. So why not just let go and move to the next step?

3. Depression, Fatigue. I know, it was more fun being angry. But you will wear yourself out shadow-boxing with unseen villains. And the ones you can see have made up their minds that things are going to be different. So it's time to move on. By the way: As Peter Vajda noted in a comment, "depression" is often defined as "anger turned inward." So it's a natural progression to go from 2 to 3. However, it's self-defeating to stay there.

4. "Let's Make A Deal": Bargaining. When things aren't going our way, we try to make tradeoffs and salvage at least something from our sense of loss. Anything that will help get us out of the current situation. This is a coping mechanism, not a resting place. It'

5. Acceptance. "OK," you say, "I'm cautiously optimistic and will invest a little in the new situation and see how it goes."

or

Opt Out. It's perfectly normal to assess a new situation and decide "This isn't for me".

6. Mastery. If one accepts the new thing, then a new sense of optimism, patience, commitment, and productivity returns.

Not a Straight-Line

We business-types like to make things nice and neat, especially when it comes to emotions. I've worked with managers who, once they've seen the model, developed project charts with dates attached:

November 5: Team will deny this happened. Leave them alone.

November 8: Angry with me. Leave them alone.

November  12: Depressed and tired. Give a motivational speech.

I really couldn't make that up. And you get the idea.

We're talking people. We're talking about individuals who, with individual constitutions and make-up, move along at different rates of speed. And, it's not a straight line. We all bounce around trying to make sense of things. When we finally accept that things actually are the way they are (reality), then we begin to work things through in a healthy, productive way.

Next: Management Action

If we're managing people through a change, what does support really look like?

Tune in for the next  article to find out.

In the meantime,  do check in with your own stories and thoughts on organizational change and the personal factors  that you've seen impact success and failure. Everyone (including me!) is ready to learn more.

If you'd like a little extra on today's topic, here are two that you might enjoy:

Surprise! CEO: "Hardly Any Real Change"

Initiating A Change? Think About This

Comments

[Galba Bright of Tune up your EQ]

Steve:

The worst thing about shadow boxing unseen villains is when you wake and realise that 1) you have 2 black eyes and 2)you inflicted the damage yourself. I've been one of the dreaded weasels in the past as an external consultant and it's quite an eye-opener. It requires a lot nof focus and sensitivity.

One thing I'd like to add to the discussion is the role of training and other support to help people move through the cycle in a way that minimises the pain. I worked on an outplacement project with Red Stripe some years ago where displaced people were offered a lot of support and many of the workers said they found it helpful.

[Steve Roesler]

As a fellow former (and maybe even in the future) weasel, the sensitivity part certainly is crucial. And consultants need to stay aware that part of the role is to remind their client managers of the same thing while still moving ahead with the intended initiative.

Your experience with Red Stripe sounds like a winner. Fortunately, I've been involved with a few clients who took a similar approach. While it doesnt' change the reality, it does change people's ability to move on with a sense of worth. It also enhances the reputation of the companies who choose to go the extra mile; I would think that Red Stripe had the same experience.

Thanks for adding even more to the ongoing conversation, Galba.

[Karin H.]

Hi Steve

Went through 1 to 5 in quick succession the last two days while upgrading a software program ;-) (don't ask!)
Am at the beginning of 6 now, new upgrade - new 'adjusted and made error-free by the technical support of the software house' database is downloading at the moment, taking forever! - is almost finished installing itself.
Now the whole 1 to 5 can begin again: trying to figure out what changes (I don't want, but will eventually find very handy) this upgrade has brought with it. Then, hopefully I';ll reach 6 very quickly and work happily ever after more efficiently ;-)

So, even software changes have an emotional cycle ;-)

Karin H. (Keep It Simple Sweetheart, specially in business)

[Steve Roesler]

Hi, Karin,

Gee, since you said "don't ask" I'm really tempted to ask! But I don't want to send you backwards on the curve...

One would think that software upgrades would take you on the ride fairly quickly. Maybe the software companies should include a copy of this in the manual :-)

[Joe Raasch]

Hi Steve,

Key as a manager or management team is communication. Yes, sounds cliche'. There is an art to keeping communication lean to prevent apathy and the ever-popular "10x" communication to make sure every hears the message enough times to 'get it'.

The error should be on the side of 10x, not lean. Example: my most recent company is going to name a new CEO sometime in the next 6-12 months. This is a private company and the new CEO will be just the fourth in 70 years (and one served less than a year). There has been virtually zero communications to the employee base. The local paper even wrote a story in an attempt to tease out a response. Didn't work.

What this means is that employees are spending an inordinate amount of time speculating and wondering. If we don't give people the story, they'll be quick to make one up!

Thanks for exploring this area of change!

[Karin H.]

Coming back to the software upgrade - the one things that speeded up the cycle is exactly what Joe mentioned:
"Key as a manager or management team is communication. Yes, sounds cliche'. There is an art to keeping communication lean to prevent apathy and the ever-popular "10x" communication to make sure every hears the message enough times to 'get it'."

So in all honesty Steve, I think software companies (and all other companies) should keep that in mind when dealing/helping(?) clients with upgrades/updates etc.
Because, and perhaps this goes a bit too far away from the topic, every purchase of a new or different than you're used to products 'inflicts' change to the buyer.

Karin H.

[Steve Roesler]

Joe,

Your remark about "10x" really rings true. In fact, I think I did a post some time ago on just that topic.

The CEO example also strikes a chord, having just gone through that with a client company. I watched as things slowed down in anticipation of an announcement. The longer things were drawn out, the more people took a "wait and see" vs. "let's get down to business" attitude. These were people who, by anyone's standards, were committed to their work and the company. But in the absence of a clear "leadership" future, they began to drift. (It was, coincidentally, the 4th CEO in the company's history).

For the life of me, I couldn't figure out why the organization refused to at least talk about where things were in the process and approximately when a decision would be made. That's all people really needed to frame the issue in their minds.

What gets in the way of doing that? After all these years, I haven't quite figured it out and can't get a straight answer.

[Steve Roesler]

Karin, I'm not sure how many changes can prove more frustrating than new software or an upgrade. Your example is about as practical as they get.

Sitting here reading the comments from you and Joe, I'm also getting ready to head out the door to a meeting in NYC. Part of that meeting has to do with the inability of people to use certain software applications. The problem wasn't installation. The problem was education and training regarding use. It turns out that the vendor simply said, "Click on the 'Help' screen". Well, that doesn't quite do it in terms of efficiency and timeliness.

In the case of CEO changes and software changes, it appears that something is still often ignored: the user (audience, employees, customers...).

Back to Joe's suggestion: err on the side of 10x communication. People would rather sort out what they need than be left holding on to nothing, don't you think?

[Galba Bright at Tune up your EQ]

The connecting dots of all the comments are all about the importance of looking at change from the point of view on the person on the receiving end. We need to communicate often and in varied formats. If we are aware of the differing levels of software users' needs, we'll provide a range of information. If we appreciate that staff need to know about managerial changes, we'll share as much info. with them as we possibly can.

[Steve Roesler]

Galba,

Thanks for connecting the dots :-)

You are about to be quoted...

[Karin H.]

Hi Steve

Was in a meeting all yesterday afternoon with my dear friend and change-instigator Richard C, so a bit late in replying.

"eople would rather sort out what they need than be left holding on to nothing, don't you think?"

Proper example I experienced last Sunday, seeing my partner getting more and more frustrated trying to assemble his new table-saw. It came with two separate 'machines' (table-unit and plunge saw) and two separate instruction books. At one point, to add one bit belonging to the safety-catch, the table-unit instructions pointed to the saw instructions for how to do that.

Only.... the name of the things was called differently in that instruction manual. (And we read the instructions in Dutch and in English!) He's not the most patient person to have around assembling anything, so this certainly didn't help!

We got everything assembled in the end, took just over two hours! and my partner kept complaining: they've changed everything, the old one was much easier to assemble.

Changes are 9 times out of 10 good (i.e. making things better/safer like in the example of the table-saw - more safety features than on the old one), but instructions on how to effectively 'adapt' the change are 9 times out of 10 lacking and written from the point of view of the 'producer'.
So both Joe and Galba are absolutely right: communications, communications (please repeat this another 8 times ;-))

Karin H.

[Steve Roesler]

Karin, you've hit on a truth: once one accepts or embraces something new, then what is needed is a smooth transition.

Your partner's story is a perfect real-life example: Better product (change) bad instructions (how to transition).

(I'm saying that eight times).