Change: Caring Enough to say "No" (Not yet)

This article is the thirty-ninth in a series about Change from Steve Roesler.

Successful sales reps welcome an objection.

An objection signals the beginning of a deeper conversation that uncovers the potential buyer's concrete, deeper, more meaningful desires. Anyone trying to introduce a change could benefit by taking a page out of the sales rep's manual.

In Change: It Comes Down To This Question..., I suggested that it would be a lot healthier for everyone involved to change resistant to hesitant. Why? Because that's what's really going on. Being hesitant often indicates a great deal of thoughtfulness about an issue. Like a potential sales customer, an employee who offers objections probably has what (s)he thinks is a good reason.

Caring Enough to say "No"

Think of the people in your life with whom you are the closest. Those you trust the most.

They are not the "yes" people. They're the ones who say "no" when they mean "no." That's how you know you can trust them. And they're also the ones --because of the trust level--with whom you can explore the reasons behind a "no" and work out a mutually agreeable resolution, when possible.

Want to dig a little deeper?

Luc Gallopin took time to comment and share a related article well worth reading: More Evidence on the Good Nature of Resistance.  Thanks, Luc.

And let's face it: If we're the ones initiating the "new thing," we've probably got a little more ego involvement than we really need. Check out Steve Bannister's "Leggo Your Ego"

How has "resistance to resistance" impacted a change in which you've been involved?

If Change is important to you, I think you'll also enjoy:

Making Changes: Does Everyone Know Why? Part I

Making Changes: Does Everyone Know Why? Part II

Making Changes: What Gets In The Way?

Comments

[Wally Bock]

Sometimes we do have too much ego involved. But sometimes it's something else. If we're the change agent we've spent time thinking about what should change and why. We've internalized the arguments in many cases. So we spring our conclusion on folks without giving them the time to process our arguments. And, because we've been so diligent putting the arguments together, we resist the possibility that someone else, without putting in the effort has seen something we've missed.

[Jim Stroup]

Hello Steve,

Key line: "An objection signals the beginning of a deeper conversation that uncovers the potential buyer's concrete, deeper, more meaningful desires."

Wally's comment is relevant, here. If we've gone through everything about the change process - all the possible stumbling-blocks; political, financial, logistical etc. objections - and developed our understanding of the need for the change and the means of bringing it about, we can become impatient with those who are only just becoming aware of the moves that are afoot, denying them the intellectual/emotional transformation we have afforded ourselves.

Good sales people never make that mistake.

[Raechel]

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[David Zinger]

Hi Steve,
You continue a great series on change. Can't wait to read the book. I don't think people resist change very much I think they resist coercion, being forced to change when they played no role in it. I always loved Virginia Satir, a family therapist, who said, "People don't resist change, the gravity of the familiar keeps pulling them back into its orbit." If I have to help people change I work at making the new as familiar as possible as quick as possible.
David

[Steve Roesler]

Wally,

No argument from this end. There was a post earlier on in the series that touched on just that: http://www.allthingsworkplace.com/2007/09/change-youre-he.html

But you add another element that's probably bitten all of us at one time.

"So we spring our conclusion on folks without giving them the time to process our arguments. And, because we've been so diligent putting the arguments together, we resist the possibility that someone else, without putting in the effort has seen something we've missed."

Nice addition.

[Steve Roesler]

Hi, Jim,

Yep, I really like Wally's take on the matter.

Now you've got me thinking: "What if every manager in an organization attended a good sales training program?"

This would be a way to get more people thinking differently about the cause--and importance of--objections.

[Steve Roesler]

Raechel, thanks for commenting...it's good to see you here!

And thank you, too, for the new resource.

[Steve Roesler]

David,

Virginia Satir has always been a favorite. And the notion of "the familiar" vs. "resistance" rings true.

Thanks for the reminder; and maybe it's time for a post on Satir's take and your reminder.