13 Questions Every Leader Must Ask: Part 3

        Number forty-six in a series about Change from Steve Roesler.

EQ expert Galba Bright continues his series here at ATW.

Are You Achieving Your Leadership Potential?

A 1996 study showed that 75% of the reasons why executives’ careers became derailed were linked to Emotional Intelligence weaknesses. The three main reasons were; poor interpersonal skills; not being a good team player and difficulties in handling change.

From: “The Lessons of Experience” Center for Creative Leadership

In this third article of the series, I present 4 questions that help you evaluate your behaviour, followed by 3 that help you act on your evaluation.

Question 5. Do I have a “default behaviour”

Do you habitually respond in a certain way when faced with a situation or person? Do you act this way despite your best intentions?

What happens, for example, when a colleague challenges your new pet initiative? Does your reaction look like this?

Question 6. Do I need to change my behaviour?

The “fight or flight response” worked well in prehistoric times. You are living in an age where subtle nuances in your behaviour can have tremendous impact.

The effective leader seeks to manage his emotions so he can respond flexibly to situations as they arise. This competence opens your gateway to positive change.

Question 7. What type of change in my behaviour do I need to make?

In 1999, a client leading an organisational change interpreted the detailed questions posed by a team member as resistance. As our relationship developed, he asked me to give him feedback about his approach. I observed that he tended to “shut down” when his team asked questions.

I encouraged him to consider how his behaviour was affecting the team. He realised that he was inhibiting the teams’ involvement. The client made a commitment to encourage the team to’ participate.

Question 8. What do I need to unlearn?

Letting go of old behaviours empowered the client. Now, instead of automatic reactions, he was able to explore new options.

 

Question 9. How Will I Let Go Of The Behaviours That I Need To Unlearn?

Are you attached to an automatic behaviour? Does it work for you? Is the attachment logical or emotional? How will you let it go?

I have found William Bridges’ work on transitions  very helpful and I regularly use his insights in my work.

Question 10. How will I experiment with new types of behaviour?

The client found that his wife was a willing ally. They rehearsed difficult workplace conversations .  She gave him feedback at the end of the role plays. He made adjustments to his approach accordingly.

Your brain is very playful. Do you use drama and curiosity to develop your effectiveness as a leader?

Question 11. Who will help me?

Spouses, significant others, team members, trusted colleagues, friends and coaches can play a positive role.

Who do you trust? What will you do today to strengthen that relationship?

Tomorrow:The last 2 questions in the final part of the series will help you sustain your improvement efforts.

More Resources

Download the 13  Emotional Intelligence Questions Every Leader Must Ask.

Download Galba Bright’s 7 Laws of Emotional Intelligence

Read Ed Brenegar’s 4 Questions Every Leader Must Ask articles