13 Questions Every Leader Must Ask, Part 1

Number forty-five in a series about Change from Steve Roesler. Please welcome this week's very special guest writer and EQ expert, Galba Bright.


Emotions And Business Do Mix

“The rules for work are changing. We’re being judged by a new yardstick: not just by how smart we are, or by our training and expertise, but also by how well we handle ourselves and each other.“   Working With Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman

A Self Aware Leader Asks Himself Questions

“Follow effective action with quiet reflection. From the quiet reflection will come even more effective action." Peter F. Drucker

Greater profitability and increased effectiveness drives your business success. Yet your bottom line results also depend on how well you manage your emotions.

Flickr Creative Commons Attribution: Image by Ul Marga

An effective leader asks himself good questions. He acts purposefully on the insights that the answers reveal.

The 13 Emotional Intelligence Questions That Every Leader Should Ask helps me to:

•    learn more speedily and effectively.

•    minimise unnecessary mistakes and,

•    behave in a more versatile way.

How To Use The 13 Questions

Use the first two questions to review your behaviour. Evaluate your behaviour, using questions 3 – 8. Act guide on your evaluation with questions 9 – 13.

I have listed the 13 Questions below.

1. How do I behave towards the people that I lead?

2. How does my behaviour impact them?

3. Do I behave flexibly?

4. Is my behaviour appropriate?

5. Do I have a “default behaviour”?

6. Do I need to change my behaviour”?

7. What type of change in my behaviour do I need to make?

8. What do I need to unlearn?

9. How will I let go of the behaviours that I need to unlearn?

10. How do I experiment with new types of behaviour?

11. Who will help me?

12. How will I consolidate what I’ve learned?

13. How do I now behave towards the people that I lead/manage?

More Resources

Download the 13 Questions That Every Leader Must Ask.

The 13 Questions are heavily influenced by Ed Brenegar’s 4 Questions Every Leader Must Ask.

Angela Maiers has a useful article about the benefits of reflection .

If you enjoyed today's post, I think you'll also want to learn from:

• Does Focusing on Strengths Give An Excuse For Ignoring Weaknesses

• Age, Work, Learning, Curiosity, and Your Brain

• Fortune Says Here's What It Takes to be Great
  

 

Comments

[Kent Blumberg]

Talk about timely - I'm working with a client who is embarking on a self-development journey and these questions are just what I needed to jump start the process. Thanks!

[Galba Bright of Tune up your EQ]

Hello Kent:

Timing is a funny thing, isn't it. I'm glad you found the questions helpful. I hope you also enjoy the rest of the series.

[Ed Brenegar]

Steve & Galba,
I feel I'm standing along side giants.
Galba this is really great material. I love the breakdown of the questions for Review, Evaluation and Implementation. We all ask questions, however too often our questions don't lead to action. Your 13 questions lead to action. My favorite philosopher Aristotle said, “Anything that we have to learn to do, we learn by the actual doing of it.” I know that in my life I've learned everything the hard way, by trial and error, testing, failure and retrying, then success. It is where wisdom comes from. Galba, your questions will lead us all to great wisdom that is practical.
Steve thank you for your brilliant idea to invite Galba to present his material here. It really is first-rate stuff.
Now to go practice ...
All the best, Ed

[Angela Maiers]

Galba and Steve,
This is a great series! So often leaders look outward for change to happen. When leaders ask reflective questions like these, they become true change agents. What a great dialogue to have in all fields. As always, thank you for stretching our thinking!

[Steve Roesler]

To all,

Galba has spent much thoughtful preparation leading up to this week's posts. I'm delighted to see that the responses reflect the quality of his contributions.

From a purely personal perspective, it has been enriching to have skype/email conversations that for me, took our relationship from one of ongoing blogger/commenter on each other's sites to one of synthesizing genuinely helpful information.

Professionally, it doesn't get much more satisfying than this. And there's more to come from Galba this week!

[Yuvarajah]

What a wonderful coincidence to have stumbled into this topic!. After many months left on the shelf, I finally decided to pick up DG's Working with EI. This morning, I get invited by Galba to this series. I'm a HR practitioner in Malaysia and have come full circle to conclude the greatest barrier to appreciating and accepting the significance of EQ in managing people, is the blatant ignorance and/or denial by CEOs and top leaders. Reflecting their action behaviour patterns, I am constantly and pessimisticaly reminded of "can leopards change their spots". Its even more painful when you have blind leopards!.

Thank you Galba and Steve for bringing this series to further enlighten the wisdom that the heart of change is BEHAVIOUR. I am exploring the prospects of introducing "Coaching" as a learning intervention. Perhaps, if it has not been covered previously, coaching could be a topic of discussion for the series.

[Steve Roesler]

Hello, Yuvarajah,

It's most satisfying to know that all of these things have come together at the same time to give you a well-based reason for hopefulness. It must be difficult as an HR professional if you are surrounded by leaders who are pessimistic about the ability of people to make changes in their lives. Here's a suggestion: The next time that topic arises, very gently ask, "Have you ever changed anything at all in your life?" "Are you in any way different now than you were when you started working?" What have you learned that you are doing now but didn't do before?" No need to be punitive, just conversational. Allow them to think a bit more deeply about themselves and their own life changes.

Now, about leopards changing their spots. They are correct: leopards don't change their spots. However, unless you are working at a zoo, chances are none of the inhabitants of your company are leopards.

When we talk about EQ and Talent, we are talking about helping people uncover "spots" that may not yet be visible. So another way to approach this kind of thinking is to point out the fact that we don't get to see all that one is capable of without providing opportunities and scenarios for people to try out new things.

As for the "heart of change being behaviour," might I offer a different viewpoint. When talking about long term changes in one's personal and professional life, the heart of behavioural change lies in the heart itself. No matter how much information we try to stuff into people's minds, one's heart must soften in order to accept and share what the mind has been fed.

Yuvarajah, I'm going to think more about how best to approach the topic of Coaching in a meaningful way.

Best wishes to you as you continue to grow. The best example for those around you will be--you!

[Galba Bright of Tune up your EQ]

Hello Ed:

I'm grateful to you for stopping by. I agree that we learn by doing. Sometimes, it can be a bitter pill to swallow because, as you say, it can be "hard."

It's typical of your humility that you should refer to others as "giants." The 13 Questions would never have emerged without your tool, The Four Questions Every Leader Must Ask. I get tremendous insights and have implemented great action plans by applying them. This series is a chapter in your compelling story and guidance to others about what it takes to live a life of impact. Thank you, once more. I really encourage Steve's readers to follow The 4 Questions, especially thosee who found the book "Good to Great" helpful.

Can I ask you Ed. What in your experience is the biggest barrier that prevents executives from adopting a practice of reflection? What first step would you suggest to anyone who wishes to overcome this barrier?

[Galba Bright of Tune up your EQ]

Hello Angela:

It's great to hear from you. I enjoyed the reflective questions that you posed in the article of yours that I linked to. Angela, I'm curious,if you were seeking to educate an executive to become more reflective, what approach would you take? What would be the biggest pitfall that you'd be sure to avoid?

[Galba Bright of Tune up your EQ]

Hello Yuvarajah,

Thank you for taking up the invitation. I aimed to start the series by turning the spotlight on behaviour as opposed to intention for 2 reasons. Firstly, we are able to observe our behaviour. Observation helps us to aim to do more of what appears to be effective and do less of what doesn't work. Secondly, the impact of our behaviour is affected by how it is perceived by others. Phrases like "I never meant it that way" are honest, but they don't take away the impact of our behaviour. These 2 considerations help us to consider whether we might have greater impact by behaving differently.

Questioning ourselves can help us to become more curious about those that we're seeking to influence. In your setting in Malaysia how do leaders tend to behave when faced with the need for change? Is this tendency universal, or does it describe the majority? If some behave differently, why is this so? Yuvarajah, I admire your commitment to seek to bring about a positive change. It's a brave choice and a wonderful potential learning experience.

Steve's suggestion about taking a conversational, rather than a punitive approach may well be sound because people often shut down when confronted directly. Does that sound familiar where you are? I encourage you to ask yourself the 13 Questions, reflect on them and share what you learn about yourself and the leaders that you work with. Consider leaving more comments at Steve's blog, or email him. Feel free to email me or arrange to call me via Skype if you use it. Enjoy the rest of the series and let us know how you progress. I will also think about the coaching ideas as the series progresses.

[Galba Bright of Tune up your EQ]

Hello Steve:

Thanks for your comments. The "leopard changing it's spots" phrase is fascinating. The leopard's outward appearance doesn't change. Perhaps zookeepers or animal lovers would know wher the leopard's nature changes. As humans, we can and do change. My personal and professional experience suggests to me that change rarely occurs for purely rational reasons. The heart/ emotions usually have a big "say."

However people facing organisational change need information. What, in your experience are the top 3 approaches that you've seen executives use to maximise the likelihood that information about organisational change is accepted?

I agree that blogging can be a great platform for developing on line and off line relationships and I'm really glad that I've developed a dialogue with you.

[Steve Roesler]

Very true about the information needed in organizations, Galba. Consistent with your question, the "hard" information has to have some relation to the personal needs of those affected. Thus, the issue of touching the heart still comes into play.

Early on in my practice I worked with clients on the kind of information that would breed "acceptance." I no longer focus on that, because it too often turns into a politically correct exercise. What people want is the truth. So the three things that I have seen generate the most "success"; that is, a legitimate hearing by those impacted, are:

1. Tell exactly and specifically what the "new" thing(s) will be

2. Explain why this is happening and what the expected benefit will be to the organization

3. Explain what the expected impact will be--pro and con--on the people who are affected.

These are all important. Number 3 is exceedingly important because it demonstrates that the person initiating the change has, in fact, considered the implications for the people involved and is willing to acknowledge both the upsides and downsides.

Now, back to work:-)

[Galba Bright of Tune up your EQ]

Hello Steve: Thanks for delivering your experience/wisdom in a concentrated package. I find the sequence of your questions very interesting. Question 1 is pretty definite. That activity is under the communicating executives'control. On Question 2, the executive is on less solid ground. Question 3 moves the executive into the shifting sands of hard reality.

The hopeful part of me also believes that if we can get people to get the pros and cons clearly on the table, that process will create a new and better reality. I wonder if this fits with your experience?

[Remote Backup]

It's veru useful tips. Now to go practice. Thanks