When Managers Engage In This Way, People Learn

How Do You Successfully Build Up People?

Success is often attributed to mutual chemistry, technique, and readiness to learn. I agree that those are important ingredients in the process. But in reality, they are steps to achieving results. And that's what we're looking for, right?

When Can You Start Your People-Building? kicked off a passionate discussion. Read through the comments and you'll see the depth of feeling surrounding the topic.

Longtime management pro Wally Bock of Three Star Leadership offered up two of the most succinct thoughts I've seen associated with managerial coaching or, for that matter, any of the helping professions:

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"When looking outward, try to concentrate on the things you can witness and describe, what people say and do, and don't try to guess what might be behind them.

When looking inward, try to judge yourself by your results instead of by your intentions."

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What Should We Pay Attention To?

In the midst of a coaching session I started paying attention to what was happening--like watching a movie where you are one of the actors. When I looked at the plot, it reflected four distinct components that I think are essential for any coaching session to be successful:

1. Clarity

Ultimately, nothing will happen until you gain laser-like clarity on the issue or goal. The client in this case needed to put a lot of information out there before I could start to ask the right questions after hearing overlapping themes. Finally, he uttered a single phrase that summed up his goal. I've learned that when you hear a single, powerful sentence instead of a rambling paragraph, you're probably there.

Total clarity before continuing.

2. Confirmation

When I repeated the phrase and asked him if that's where he wanted to go he smiled and his energy level went up noticeably. As a coach or client, ask yourself the question: Is the excitement increasing because you've hit upon the real thing?

Confirm the real deal or go back to step 1.

3. Communivation

Yes, according to the spell-checker, I made that up.

When we keep a goal or an issue to ourselves, there's no accountability for action. Once we state our desires or intentions to other people, we have a much greater chance of success. It's human nature. Tell someone else that you are planning on doing something and the likelihood of you doing it increases. Ask "Who else will you tell about this?" "Who else needs to be involved to help you accomplish this?"

Communicate to motivate.

4. Commitment

Create an immediate action--something that will happen today. Too often we become satisfied with the "Aha" and ignore the "Ah, when?" I ask for an action that can be taken before the end of the day. It creates momentum, makes something happen (we both get paid to make something happen), and shows genuine commitment. It also provides a specific action that allows for follow up. "What was the outcome of your phone call to the customer?" "How did your team react to your initial meeting about the new software integration?

If the manager/coach hears about how things went, then it opens the door to identify next steps. If the action didn't happen, it's a signal for both to examine what is happening and to get quickly on track. That could ultimately lead to a return to Clarity. Without a commitment and follow-up, it's easy to feel good about the session and still have nothing happen. (I hate when nothing happens!)

Commit to an action that will happen today.

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Whether you're a manager/coach--or someone being coached--you may have your own take on "Essentials." If so, click on the Comments link below and share with others what they are. I'll collect them and offer them as "Coaching Essentials from Real Life" in a later post.

And: Three Good Reads

• Leadership alert for hard-working, ordinary people: Jim Stroup's As Bad As All That?

• Listening, Attention, and Patience at Slow Leadership will help manager/coaches everywhere.

• What we're talking about is individual change. Doing it in an organizational context can be a challenge. Check out Michal McKinney's post at Leadership Now.

Comments

[Melody Campbell, The Small Business Guru]

I found thoughts you shared from Wally Bock about looking outward and inward to be great reminders. I am still learning how to not make assumptions about motives.

[Steve Roesler]

Melody,

Glad Wally's wisdom is helpful.

There's so much "noise" taking place when two people get together, it's easy to quickly draw conclusions that aren't valid. Voice tone, body language--even dealing with someone with whom a friend has had a bad experience--can all color our jump-to-motive.

I hope you'll check back in with a real-life success story after practicing delayed judgment.

Here's wishing you well in such an honorable quest...