Work, Expecations, And Choice

Unmet expectations and the Chicken Little Effect

Isn't that what really lies underneath many of the alleged workplace "issues?"

Not unlike newspapers and TV, actual online headlines scream out:

"Businesses Must Close the Disengagement Gap"

"Six Fatal Flaws of Employee Compensation Programs"

"Managers Fail to Live Up to Expectations"

Each of these implies that there is some "way of being" that has been denied. That there is a huge chasm between "What is" and "What Should Be." That you and I are somehow being short-changed and we shouldn't put up with it any longer.

Closer examination will show that many of those headlines are generated on sites and blogs written by businesses that provide services in Employee Engagement, Compensation, and Management Training.

I'm all for improving one's condition in life. To do so, we have to have an accurate assessment of What Is Actually Possible, What Is Actually Probable, and What We're Willing To Do in all of this.

So I think an important question is:

Who Are We Allowing to Influence Our Expectations?

Rowan Manahan brings a wealth of experience to the world of career management. He sees--and has seen--a lot. So Ireland's Evening Herald interviewed Rowan about career expectations.

He notes that some parents, in a misguided quest to "build self-esteem," actually produce a houseful of "Little Emperors." Here's what he sees at college graduation/employment time:

Graduates, Manahan says, have hopelessly unrealistic expectations of what any job will entail. “They think the world is a simple meritocracy, and they believe that their talent will out,” he says. “They think teams are collaborative and co-operative. They are convinced that they will have it all. Work comes as a huge culture shock.

So now we've got two undeniably powerful influences on expectations: Parents and Media. If either or both of those is inaccurate--regardless of the generation--it's understandable how any individual or group expectation can become skewed.

What Do You Expect and Why?

This is a reasonable and potentially life-changing question that can lead you to a genuine breakthrough, especially if you are feeling inexplicably discontented.

It took me nearly a lifetime to understand this about work:

The overarching concern of profit-making companies is to make a profit. They may genuinely want to be "people-oriented," "socially-conscious," and collaborative. But profits are the corporate equivalent of the blood running through human veins. No blood? Death.

When you and I start bleeding, we don't care (primarily) what the ER folks do as long as they stop it and keep us alive. When corporations start bleeding, they don't care (primarily) about what it takes to sustain life and live another day. That's why some folks are laid off and find themselves hired back 6 months later. Expecting that companies run by humans will behave in an other-than-human way under threat and duress is an unrealistic expectation.

It may feel inhumane; but the stimulus-response is quite human and, therefore, to be expected.

Do this:

If you woke up this morning alive and with the prospect of a full day ahead, you were presented with a canvas on which to paint your life. And some expectations to go with it.

Did someone else somehow start filling in the space without consulting you first? If so, you'll be completing someone else's painting. Sooner or later you'll become frustrated and may not know why.

The weekend is upon us. What a perfect time to reflect and ask, "What do I really expect--and why do I expect it?"

Monday may be a lot more satisfying as a result.

 

Comments

[Troy Malone]

In "As a man thinketh" by James Allen, it says: "Thoughts of fear, doubt, and indecision crystallize into weak, uncertain, and irresolute habits, which solidify into circumstances of failure, indigence, and slavish dependence."

I think you are right on that if we let others frame our ideas of what it possible, we will conform to those perceptions and live up to or down to them...

I vote for believing big in yourself and silencing the critics through action!

Troy Malone
http://www.pelotonics.com

[RobynM]

A person may really have to dig way down for this, Steve.

For most of my life, I had NO expectations. I just took whatever came my way and tried to make something of it. It took a LOT of work to scratch the surface of what I want from life. And the thinking has to be accompanied by feeling. Otherwise, you can think you know what your expectations are and go forward, only to discover you're still uncomfortable in your life because you've only consulted your head. it's okay to want the moon; as adults we know it's not always possible to have what we want. But until we know we want it, our expectations will always include it, continuing to keep us dissatisfied even when we our expectations have been met.

Great subject.

[Steve Roesler]

Gosh, Troy, I haven't heard Allen's book mentioned in years; yet it still holds sway today.

Thanks for the link as well; am going to have a look at the collaboration tools.

[Steve Roesler]

Robyn,

You are so right; this is one that requires digging deeper than usual. I think the consequences or payoff will be consistent with the depth.

In this particular instance I was thinking about the expectations that are set by sensational headlines implying that there is a serious problem because of some alleged gap. This prompts us to think that we are not getting what we deserve. Suddenly, we have expectations that have been manufactured by others and in many cases are not even accurate in their portrayal of reality.

So an important question arises: Who will we allow to create our reality?