Working With Groups: When Someone Enters or Leaves

When only one person leaves or enters a group, the dynamics--and group effectiveness--change.

Why?

Groups--no matter how large or small--are about equilibrium. That equilibrium comes from a balance of power. Over time, we all learn where we "fit" in a group given the topic, our role, and how things operate. When someone comes or goes, our sense of influence changes. That's because new relationships and alliances begin to form in order to establish a new balance of power.

Did You Say Power?

That's exactly what I said. If you think groups aren't about power, try taking power away from someone.

Regardless of what you would like to think, everyone in every group has a need when it comes to power and influence. Some people want a lot, some a little, and some want to just blend in with the wallpaper and disappear. That's why every time a new person enters a group or a regular member leaves, the balance of power needs to be re-established.

The important point: Armed with this knowledge you can do it intentionally. This accomplishes two things:

• The unspoken (but known to each) is brought into the open and legitimized.

What's the best way to neutralize a potentially tense issue? Call it for what it is, make it perfectly acceptable, and have a process to move through it.

• Everyone will breath a sigh of relief--even if it's a silent one. Once the unspoken tension is reduced, people are more relaxed and able to help create the new group.

Here's How To Do It

1. Stop action.

2. Read the paragraphs above to the group.

3. Re-visit why the group exists, make any necessary modifications, and ask for agreement from each person.

4. Clarify each person's role. Whether someone leaves or someone new arrives, there has to be a change in responsibilities and how things will get done. If you talk about it now, you won't have to resolve the inevitable conflict about it later.

Groups and organizations are systems. Systems work the same way as our bodies (human systems). If you pinch one place, you'll get a referent "ouch" someplace else.

The next time membership is about to change in your group, go through the four steps above. You'll minimize the ouches and get back to equilibrium and productivity because you've taken good care of the system.

Comments

[Kent Blumberg]

Nice list, Steve.

Groups of humans are much like groups of other animals - any new member changes the dynamics. We foster dogs (11 in the house at the moment). Whenever a new foster dog enters the house, we suffer through a period of adjustment while they figure out where the new dog fits in. Some are happy being #11, others fight to be top dog, and still others fit somewhere in the middle.

Dogs are not capable of rationally going through the four steps you list, but people certainly are. It's the leader's job to anticipate the sniffing, growling and other behaviors and nip them in the bud.

Interestingly, our pack has to sort things out when a member is adopted and leaves for a new home. The vacuum opens things up for a new struggle. I think that happens in human systems, too - particularly when a fairly high power member leaves the group. That departure leaves a vacuum and the group must sort out how it will be filled.

Kent

[Steve Roesler]

Hi, Kent,

That's a heck of an example and one that a lot of people can visualize. I hadn't thought of the "animal equivalent," but those who have introduced one new pet to the pack can no doubt see the relationship.

I'm trying to imagine 11:-) What you are doing is a terrific help to a lot of pets and, hopefully, potential owners.