How To Use The Right Words At Work

"Remember the meeting time."

"Don't forget the meeting time."

Do both of those say the same thing? Not as far as your brain is concerned.

Why not?

The brain doesn't register negatives. So if you use the negative sentence, “Don’t forget the meeting time,” your brain will ignore the “don’t” and hear the statement “forget the meeting time.”

If you use the positive sentence, “Remember the meeting time,” you’ll have a much better chance of seeing your participants show up on schedule.

The mind wants direction, not a sense of "lack." That's why it's important to pay attention to how you say things. If I tell you that something is "not very expensive" you'll focus on "expensive."

Try these:

• "New" vs. "Untried"
• "By 5 O'clock" vs. "By the end of the day"
• "Economical" vs. "Inexpensive"

Note: This is how improvement efforts often get bogged down: "I want us to make fewer mistakes" translates differently than "I want to increase the accuracy of our customer service solutions by 30% before November 30."

Comments

[Miki]

Hey Steve, What you say about the brain not recognizing negative words is fascinating. I'm a nut on the subjects of communication and brain research and tried to find a study on what you said, but couldn't. Could you please point me in the direction of your source? Thanks!

PS Pleaseprettyplease add a box for comment notification.

[Michelle Malay Carter]

Hi Steve,

This is very interesting. I find this type of research so interesting. Especially with a learning disabled/academically gifted/right brain dominant son, I find his ability remember and act upon directions is tied to content construction and delivery methodology. So this may help me as well.

I have a client who often says during meetings, "I don't disagree with you." And every time he says it, I cringe, and think, OK, then why can't you bring yourself to say, I agree with you? Just like poker players have tells, I think it is his "I'm going to try to persuade you differently" tell.

I've gone back and forth about whether I should bring this up to him. The jury is still out.

Regards,

Michelle