Does Like-Ability Mean Pleasing Everyone?

Rachel Esterline, blogging gurette at A Step Ahead, picked up on the like-ability factor in Are You Focused on The Right Thing? 

Rachel notes that she catches flak from some people who just don't "get" the time she spends blogging. Yet, her blog has opened doors to her and she loves to write and connect in this way.

Does that mean that she should do something differently to silence her critics?

I hope not.

Like-ability, Integrity, and Relational Longevity

The idea of expecting everyone to like you is unreasonable, somewhat narcissistic, and will cause you to make yourself into something you are not. It’s sort of like “Who do I have to be at this moment so ____will find me likeable?” That’s pretty darned ingenuine and would, therefore, make one totally unlikeable once people catch on to the scam.

The issue is this: We all enjoy connecting with people who listen to us, acknowledge us, and honor the fact that our viewpoint on a given issue may be different. Those who can hold fast to their values without dragging someone else into the mud in order to “make their point” appear to achieve two things:

1. A wide range of friendships and connections

2. Longevity with those in #1

Note: I didn’t consider my writing and speaking successful until people starting arguing vehemently and asking me to substantiate my position. When I factually or experientially substantiate my position, I do it and let the chips fall where they may. Anything less lacks integrity on my part, puts me in Wuss-land, and diminishes my professional stature. Likewise, if I find that I’m wrong in some way, it’s equally important to acknowledge the error as well as the contribution of the “adversary”.

Punchline: My observation is that intelligent, emotionally stable people simply want honesty. I may not like what I hear but I will certainly respect the person who delivers the truth.

Do you want to be flattered by a liar or told the truth by a person of integrity?

Perhaps genuine like-ability also has a time and truth equation included. Which is why we should beware the inclination to fawn over charismatic figures in all areas of life whose only real attribute seems to create a good "feeling"  in the moment.

Comments

[Rachel M. Esterline .:. A Step Ahead]

Thanks for the comment on my blog (and I fixed the italics problem).

I agree that wanting everyone to like you is unreasonable. But, I also think that the way some have reacted to me keeping a blog is unreasonable. But, then again, I don't need to please them. You make some really good points I'll have to keep in mind the next time I get a sharp comment.

[gl hoffman]

Hi Steve...some time back, I wrote a quite lengthy post on How To Become More LIkeable. Just wondered if it might add to this discussion.
http://blogs.jobdig.com/wwds/2008/09/03/how-to-be-more-likeable-ten-things-to-do-today/

[Steve Roesler]

Rachel,

Wow, that blog-reaction thing sounds a bit severe. By the same token, you are now in my Reader.

Keep writing...

[Steve Roesler]

GL

Thanks for tossing in the resource...