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Frode H

Hi Steve. This was interesting.
I have been coaching a lot today, and "you" was very frequently used. "Because" will be more interesting to bring into a coaching session. I do believe I explain "why" very well, and I feel they understand what is going on, but I will be more aware of "because" to motivate for action. Thank you for pointing out some small but important details. You have a great blog because of that. :)

Steve Roesler

Hi, Frode,

Good to see you and I'm pleased that you found this practical and useful. That's what we're trying to do here!

Good luck!

Mile High Pixie

Brilliant, sir. I coteach a communication class for women, and my colleague (an educational psychologist) has mentioned the study you described above. Having any reason for your requests or assertions can help, but I might add that the reason you give while convincing someone to do something or agree with you should be somewhat related to how it helps the other person. We recently lost a job because we talked so much about us and not about the client ("you") during the interview. Lesson learned.

Steve Roesler


Aww, shucks (shuffling feet and staring at the ground).

You are one passionate learner because you always use the info or relate it to a situation right away. I hope your boss is squirreling away some big bucks for the much-deserved bonus.

Your example is an unbelievably common one. I'll bet your corporate brochure waxes poetic about qualifications, past accomplishments, and all-things-wonderful regarding the firm. What would happen if the opening line read: "Design is all about you because your ________ has to reflect your taste, your budget, and your comfort." (You get the idea).

I remember a workshop that I did years ago for a pharmaceutical marketing firm using that proven approach. It caused an uproar about what was "professional" and what wasn't. That really was not the issue. The issue was tradition. They confused professional with traditional.

OK, I'm getting off of the soapbox. Influence strategies based on sound principles and integrity are the most important skills one can learn and use for professional and corporate growth.

Gretchen Anthony

Steve, interesting post. When in the midst of trying to get complex thoughts out of our heads we forget even the most basic of things, I guess. Thanks for the reminders.

Steve Roesler


No doubt your experiences in your consulting practice has shown that, at least in the corporate world, complex "analysis" is more valued than concise "synthesis".

That's a dynamic that gets in the way of specificity and simplicity.

Thanks for stopping by...

Lynn M

I'm looking forward to trying out "because." Thanks for the interesting article. Maybe it's why we totally bought into the Wizard of Oz, eh? They were off to see the wizard...because, because, because, because, BECAUSE!!!! Because of the wonderful things he does! :)

Steve Roesler


You have prompted a vivid flashback because of the Wizard reference.

Our daughter's childhood obsession was with the Wizard of Oz. I'm guessing we watched it 2-3 times/day for 3 years, culminating in the three of us dressed as the Tin Man, Cowardly Lion, and Scarecrow for Halloween.

"If I, were the King, of the For-esssttt!..."

Thanks for the memories. Whoops. That was Bob Hope.

Lynn M

My pleasure, Steve! There's no place like home.

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