Change: People Can Handle The Truth

"Virtue cannot separate itself from reality without becoming a principle of evil."
Albert Camus

"We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope."
Martin Luther King, Jr.

We all struggle at times when it comes to delivering difficult news. Organizational changes usually fit into that category.

So it's easy to start rationalizing the truth by rationalizing that people won't be able to deal with it. "If I just schmooze a bit here and leave off a nasty detail there, it will be easier on everyone."

No. What we really mean is, "It will be easier on me."

What People Want When Change Starts

1. An accurate picture of reality.

2. A sense of hope based in the proposed new reality.

3. The whole truth about 1 and 2.

Change is really about adults making effective decisions. Decisions to commit, decisions to opt out, decisions to wait a bit, decisions about what might be best for their careers and their families...

None of those is possible without knowing the truth of the situation and why the impending changes make the future hopeful.

Making a Change? Ponder This

It's not just what you say but how you say it.

Psychology Today's  Allison Kornet explains: (bold face indicates my emphasis)

While studying how language patterns are associated with improvements in physical health, James W. Pennebaker, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at Southern Methodist University, also began to explore whether a person's choice of words was a sign of deception. Examining data gathered from a text analysis program, Pennebaker and SMU colleague Diane Berry, Ph.D., determined that there are certain language patterns that predict when someone is being less than honest. For example, liars tend to use fewer first person words like I or my in both speech and writing. They are also less apt to use emotional words, such as hurt or angry, cognitive words, like understand or realize, and so-called exclusive words, such as but or without, that distinguish between what is and isn't in a category.

And in a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, Bella DePaulo, Ph.D. and Deborah A. Kashy, Ph.D., of Texas A&M University, report that frequent liars tend to be manipulative and Machiavellian, not to mention overly concerned with the impression they make on others.

In DePaulo's studies, participants (liars) described conversations in which they lied as less intimate and pleasant than truthful encounters, suggesting that people are not entirely at ease with their deceptions. That may explain why falsehoods are more likely to be told over the telephone, which provides more anonymity than a face-to-face conversation.

Lessons for Change Leaders

1. Even if you're telling the whole truth, your credibility may be diminished if you don't communicate in person. Why? Because the lack of face-to-face intimacy conveys an implicit undercurrent of deception. The listeners may not even realize it, but they know at some level that more truths get told in person than via another medium.

2. Tell people what you think and feel by using "I" and "my" vs. "Acme Widgetworks". People care how you see the reality--in detail--of the situation; and, specifically why you are hopeful about the future.

3. Changes prompt an entire range of emotions in everyone involved. That means you, too. An absence of honest emotional language sends the message that you actually don't care. People don't want a canned business speech. They want you. That means hearing the impact the changes are having and why, again, you are hopeful about the future in light of the current reality.

People can handle the truth. What they don't handle well is finding out later that they only heard part of the truth.

If you're tempted to put a little icing on the message, remember that Marie Antoinette thought it was a good idea to "let them eat cake." She didn't end up heads above her constituents.

Comments

[Rodney Johnson]

Can't most of this be simply summed up into the "Importance of being Authentic?"

[Hayli @ Transition Concierge]

I think you draw an important correlation between honesty and change. Because people are typically so resistant to change, there is often a greater temptation for the change-maker to use "smoke and mirrors" or even tell an outright lie. But you're absolutely right in that people can handle the truth, but not finding out after the fact that they were lied to. Besides, shouldn't you do them the dignity of being able to prepare for "X" or "Y" that could possibly come down the road? Some would argue, however, that it would upset the apple cart and make people obsessed with preparing for "X" or "Y" events instead of doing whatever they can to prevent them from occurring.

[Andy Spence - HR Transformer Blog]

Really enjoyed the post. Effective change management is often a mix of the strategic and the practical. Really good point about leaders understanding their own motivations i.e. "it will be easier on me". And the practical point about more face-to-face contact.

[peter vajda]

Good stuff, Steve. What catches my attention is your statement, "Change is really about adults making effective decisions"

Adults, for me, are those who are emotionally and spiritually mature, authentic and comfortable in their own skins...warts and all.

When the child-ish part of one's self appears due to some fear-based (read: ego) issue, then we witness and observe the evasiveness, the defensiveness, the shirking of responsibility and accountability and lack of truth-telling.

The more self-aware we are (become), the greater the our capacity to tell it like it is - openly, honestly, sincerely, respectfully, compassionately....not driven by some internal "belief" that, for some excuse (never a reason) "I can't tell the truth."

"People can't handle the truth" is nothing more than a "projection" or transference of my issue(s) on to someone else.

[julie]

I really enjoyed your posting and I especially liked the part that mentions, "what people want when change starts." It is very intuitive and very true!

[Mile High Pixie]

Hayli makes a good point--people are generally resistant to change at an basic evolutionary human level, because change in a primitive human world meant no more food or water or an increase in predators. Change wasn't good for them, and probably about half the time it's not good for modern humans. But you make a good point about acceptance of the message--people need to know that they're being told everything, and they need to know that they're not being left to deal with this on their own. I would add that it's not enough to simply empathize and care with the receivers of the change news/bad news, but it's also important to have some solutions or ways to cope that you can share with the others.

[Scott]

A great line from a good movie, "You can't handle the truth."

In today's market, employees are shocked to hear supervisors tell the truth.
Subsequently...supervisors aren't very good at telling the truth and they're equally bad at lying; which leads to ambivalence and icky leadership.

A good book that chronicles truth in the marketplace and how Corporate America has shunned its responsibility of ethics for employees and clients: Dropping Almonds by Bach Anon.

Pick up a copy of the book and understand a perspective from an executive leader's perspective. Happy ending? No, not really. But the book isn't about booming massage parlors.

Good post and thank you. We talk the talk...but how about some walking! The minute the market turns people may be compelled to fall into their old traps and behavious. I hope not!

[Laurie]

Great post. In today's work environment and the insecurity that surrounds it, knowing the truth is essential for everyone to make the best possible decisions. People can handle the truth and we should give them credit to be able to do so and not so controlling by saying they can't.

[Frode H]

Hi Steve.
I really like this post, and great timing for me as a reader of your blog. The truth is very important because if the employees know what they are faceing, they will know how to deal with it. Easy as that.
I was just telling the truth at work recently as I am currently gotten a new challenge at work last week. I was asked to take over a new department, and I did. I am writing about it at my blog as well, so I am currently experiencing the power of truth. Great post. Way to many leaders try to hide the truth because they for some strange reason want to be nice...

It is kind of cool that I am trying change leadership right now, leaving great results behind and moving into new waters, trying to create the same results with new people. It will bring an answer to this: Either I had great people around me, or my leadership philosophy works. (Or maybe a combination) the next months will be my leadership exam. So do feel free to write more about change and new challenges :)

Keep writing.

[Steve Roesler]

Rodney,

Yep.

Now: how many managers do you know who...

a. Get real?

b. Actually know what to do with their people when a change comes down the pike?

Right.

So the result is this post.

[Steve Roesler]

Hayli,

Really well put.

And I've heard the argument for your last line and often seen it as "the winner" in executive meetings regarding deal with/don't deal with changes.

My posture: If you trust these people enough to pay them to operate your business, why don't you trust them with the truth about the business?

[Steve Roesler]

Andy,

Glad it struck a note with you and I appreciate your specificity. It's always useful and encouraging to know what makes a difference in an article.

[Steve Roesler]

Peter,

You say: "Adults, for me, are those who are emotionally and spiritually mature, authentic and comfortable in their own skins...warts and all.

When the child-ish part of one's self appears due to some fear-based (read: ego) issue, then we witness and observe the evasiveness, the defensiveness, the shirking of responsibility and accountability and lack of truth-telling."

What that suggests is that chronological years/years of service don't necessarily correlate to the level of emotional maturity needed to "be real."

I'll bet there are a lot of readers who can identify with that and who have intelligent, technically competent colleagues and bosses who struggle when it comes to simply sitting across the table and saying, "This is the way it is."

[Steve Roesler]

Julie, thanks for the affirmation.

[Steve Roesler]

MHP:

Point well taken on the "solutions" part. The best way that I've seen to deal with that is:

a. Share a few solutions that you've thought of so your people know you've been thinking in that way.

b. Then, simply say: "That's what I've come up with so far. How else would you deal with it?"

[Steve Roesler]

Thanks for that, Scott.

[Steve Roesler]

Laurie,

You triggered an additional brain blip.

I've been involved in heading up massive changes at huge corporations. What I learned early on by doing it wrong is: the higher the stress level, the more important it is to be frank.

Part of what is causing people stress is the fear that people above them aren't telling them the truth. Once they realize that they are getting straight information it frees them up to deal with the real issues.

[Steve Roesler]

Frode,

I have met few people in my career who have been such a dedicated learner and student of management as you. You do it every day, write about it, and read what others are writing.

There is a short post coming out later today that also talks about making changes.

Much appreciated.