Managers, Tough Conversations, and Training

Does your company provide solid, "how-to" training for supervisors and managers? I'm talking about the kind of training that helps them become good, effective managers of people, not just tasks. You know: the people who make and get your product/service out the door.

Experienced manager and training authority Wally Bock has some pithy thoughts related to the two posts here and here regarding Honesty, Boldness, and Sins of Omission:

Making Thing Worse By Trying Not To Make Things Worse

I think most of us have been raised to avoid/minimize confrontation. That's bad enough in the situations you describe. But it is corrosive if you have a supervisor who won't step up and call attention to behavior or performance that are not acceptable. Sadly, very few companies even consider this when they promote someone from individual contributor to a boss. Even fewer offer training in how to do confrontation well. This leaves us with a legion of bosses who are making things worse by trying not to make things worse.

I think the issue is different at work and in personal relationships. In the latter, there's a context and a history that is part of every honest conversation, whether it's specifically evoked or not.

At work, rank is always either part of the discussion or casting a shadow across it. So if you're going to talk about behavior or performance at work, you need a bit of a script to achieve the outcomes you describe above.

1. Start with What the conversation is about. Be specific. Describe behavior or performance without adjectives. Adjectives trigger emotions.

2. Say Why it's important to have the conversation. Describe the impact of or reaction to the behavior or performance.

3. Then Wait. Waiting is crucial. Without it, a conversation is unlikely to happen.

I believe Wally's observation and suggestions are dead-on. There was a stretch of time from the late 1970s through the mid 1990s where supervisors and managers were required to participate in training that gave them skills focused entirely on managing, guiding, and building people. That mandate has clearly diminished. Now we hear:

Two of My Favorite Myths

1. "Everyone is a leader!" 

Really?

Then explain the volumes of books, articles, and speeches lamenting the fact that there is a lack of leadership in (you name the organization, company, or government). Also: I've never seen someone lead effectively who didn't first know how to follow effectively. 'Following' isn't a weak, one-down posture. It's an entire set of thoughts, behaviors and skills that help a person understand how best to navigate an organization and what it means to serve and perform.

2. "We don't train people, we train dogs. We educate people."

Very cute.

Did you get "educated" in order to pass your driving test and parallel park? Do airline pilots and Space Shuttle commanders simply wave around their Ph.D's on "Aerodynamics and the Meaning of Life" or do they practice the right things over and over again before being allowed to fly? And is there some reason why you and your spouse look at each other and say, "Why does Duke the Dachshund behave better than Ashley and Jared?"

I'm sounding the trumpet call for "Here's how you do this" training for anyone who has to supervise anyone else.

Why?

Because it's the direct link to performance, retention, and creating an organization filled with people who know how to do the right things the right way.

Comments

[Jason C. Blais]

Steve, some interesting points here. So WHY is it so hard to build in management training costs into basic operations budgets, just like electricity, lease costs, and office supplies? I don't think I've ever heard any member of any organization say that they felt they spent TOO MUCH time on management training. And when I say that, I mean anyone at any level. Employees benefit from well trained managers who work in synchronicity with each other. Performance and productivity will increase through good training. Conflicts will reduce in number and volatility. Engagement will increase. And all these things lead to increased retention.

How do companies break out of the old habits, the feeling that you can cut training first when times are tight?

[Wally Bock]

Wonderful post, Steve, tying things together. I love your myths. One variant on the "everyone is a leader" myth is the "everyone can become a leader." That says, first of all, you become a leader through some process that changes you so you are no longer a lesser something else. It also says that, unlike, say, tennis, all you need to master leadership is a specific course or book which will bypass those messy learn-by-doing parts and lead you straight to the mountaintop.

[Steve Roesler]

Hi, Jason,

Your thoughts are sensible ones and the question has been one that we've been baffled by for years.

There was a time when almost every company considered training and development a useful and valued part of organizational development. It has always been difficult to attach specificknow monetary values to "absence" of conflict, "increased" engagement, etc. And many people will take credit for retention. It's not unlike carrying life insurance: you know you are being protected but as long as you are alive and well, all you see are the checks for the premium payments.

It's about time we brought about a sensible to change to all of this.

Thanks for weighing in. . .

[Steve Roesler]

Wally,

The comments you made on the previous posts were too poignant not to have a life of their own.