Leadership Expectations and Self-Trust

Does the attention given to "leadership crises" and "talent wars" ever make you pause and wonder: "Why do we wring our hands about this day after day?"

Note: I believe good leadership is important and necessary. But if business people are problem-solvers and we're still proclaiming leadership and talent big problems, then what's up?

Here are some thoughts:

Skewed Expectations

1. The issue isn't always whether someone is actually exercising leadership. The issue is often "this is what I think a leader ought to be and (s)he isn't that way." (I don't feel warm and fuzzy all the time and I'm supposed to feel warm and fuzzy all the time. It's the leader's job to determine that I feel good).

2. Sound-bite/Star Search leadership. The Leader-as-Celebrity syndrome takes a pop-culture approach to who is good and who isn't. "Our CEO doesn't have the stage presence and media following that ____ _____has." No. Your CEO quietly and without fanfare helps create profits and jobs and then goes home and spends time with the family.

3. The Business Book leader. We want our leaders to be the kind that best-selling authors say they should be. OK, let's see where this leads us:

Let's say you aren't feeling like a natural leader. No problem. "Unnatural Leadership: Going Against Intuition and Experience to Develop Ten New Leadership Instincts" will help you grow unnaturally. Solves  the problem.

"Leadership Secrets of Jesus" might surprise some, not the least of which would be Jesus. He would no doubt be a ticked off at Paul and those prolific disciples who already published his secrets under the mundane marketing moniker, New Testament.

OK, so you aren't especially filled with grace today. No problem, you can still be a leader. Everyone loves Abe, so how about "Lincoln on Leadership: Executive Strategies for Tough Times". This will be especially helpful if you happen to be president during a civil war and the best general already signed up for the other side.

What to Do?

If you want to know your leadership capabilities get out there and lead something. Anything. A civic group, little league team, or sailboat club. Maybe you're in a leader's role at work now. Great. With regularity and sincerity ask people, "How is this going?" (If you ask, "How am I doing?", the more bashful folks may shy away from a direct answer).

Then, listen and ask more questions about what's working well and what needs to improve. When you hear an item mentioned multiple times it's probably worth acting upon. 

The payoff: You'll start doing the things and working with the people who need to come together to make your group or business effective. You'll be leading.

As for the books, look for the consistent underlying principles that never change--regardless of time. One of them is this: If you only read you'll never lead.

How did you learn to trust your ability to ride a bicycle? You tried it, fell off, got back on, and rode until it became a habit. 

Get out in front of something you care about.  Stay focused on how that's going.  Don't worry for a second about whether or not Abe would have done it that way. He had a different project. The people around you and the results that emerge will be the sources  to measure success.

Why not hop on your leadercycle today?

Comments

[Becky Robinson]

Hop on your leadercycle today -- I love it, Steve. Perhaps a good title for your next book?

But of course this makes perfect sense: the way to learn leadership is to do it, ask for feedback, and do it some more.

Thanks Steve. Wonder where my ride will take me today?

[peter vajda]

Good stuff, as usual, Steve.

Some thoughts:

You write: "As for the books, look for the consistent underlying principles that never change--regardless of time. One of them is this: If you only read you'll never lead." The same issue as those who drastically want to change their personal self-and never do, albeit their bookshelves are filled with the latest self-help books, DVDs, etc. Thinking, wishing, hoping are not do-ing.

My experience says that one cannot simply "open up" at 9:00 Monday morning and begin asking, "How am I doing?" unless there is a container and foundation of trust and safety. If this dynamic is lacking or broken, it has to be established or fixed, respectively, before one can ask those open and honest questions. If there's a history of asking folks and then never acting on their responses then the effort is futile and comes across as fake and phony.

This process also requires vulnerability (and subjugation of ego) and leaders who resist allowing their vulnerability will often find the "sincerity" process challenging until they work on allowing their vulnerability.

Many of these bikes require "training wheels" and there are those who are embarrassed by such, even some "children" at work. It takes courage and strength and self-awareness to be vulnerable and put one's self out there without a safety net. Kudos to those who do!

Another question that gets to the heart of the matter, is less direct but equally informative, establishes trust and encourages engagement at the same time is "What do you think?" but, only if the responses are taken to heart.

[Marvin]

As a family leader I'm guilty of reading instead of leading -- my leadership books respect me without demanding that I do something to earn that respect.

Thanks for the slap to the back of the head!

[Mile High Pixie]

Yet another great post, Steve. I actually laughed out loud at your examples of Jesus and Lincoln. I keep wondering how best to lead, keeping my intern busy with things she'll actually learn from and keeping all the interns in the office up to date with issues that affect them, and it finally occured to me in the past year or so--I just had to do it. If you want to keep people busy, then find good stuff for them to do and have them do it. If you want to keep people updated, then do the reasearch and then summarize it for them. Leading is hard, and yet it's that simple. Do it. Do it well, do it poorly and then learn from it, and do it again and again.

[Steve Roesler]

Becky,

We're looking forward to hearing where it did take you. Check back in, eh?

[Steve Roesler]

Peter,

That photo with training wheels is there quite deliberately.

There seems to be the notion that people who lead somehow woke up one morning on the front page of their trade publication. We almost all used training wheels as kids; why not acknowledge that the same process is valuable as adults?

It just struck me that if we viewed ourselves in the 'training wheel' phase, we'd be more inclined to ask honest questions and listen to honest answers.

[Steve Roesler]

Marvin,

I confess that the reason that particular line came to me was because of my own tendencies to lapse into reading instead of leading. Given the importance of our families and our role in them, it occurred to me that my daughter wasn't really getting much from watching me read books about faithful fatherhood and the like.

So I knocked it off and started doing more with the fam. Paid off in spades.

Thanks for adding that dimension to the conversation. . .

[Steve Roesler]

MHP:

You consistently use a word that is ignored in much writing on leadership: "Doing".

'Leadership'is a noun: Leadership, n. Capacity or ability to lead: showed strong leadership during her first term in office.

Lead, v.tr., to show the way to by going in advance. To guide or direct

1. To direct the performance or activities of
2. To inspire the conduct of

We can study the noun til the cows come home, but they won't come home until we lead them.

Keep those interns learning...

[Wally Bock]

Wow! What great post. And Peter's comment add richness, too.

I think sometimes thinking about leadership is the wrong thing altogether. It's like playing tennis while looking at the scoreboard, instead of focusing on the game. If you are there with your team, having conversations, checking for understanding, helping everyone focus on the objective and letting them help you, you will wind up with a team with high morale that delivers high performance. Voila! You will be considered a leader without ever having to think about "leadership."

[Ian]

Steve really makes you re think your life when you think you are actually leading.
Ian