Bring Your Emotions To Work

Workplaces are filled with people urging you to "Stay rational" and, by all means, "Don't get emotional."

That's just not sound advice. They  have a significant effect on us, but to what end?

Call To Action

Emotions prompt you to act. Without them you wouldn't do much, including survive.

When you start to feel an emotion your muscles tense or relax; blood vessels dilate or contract. What you feel emotionally produces a related physical response. As a result, emotions can make us feel uncomfortable or comfortable, sending signals to urgently do something or to stay in our comfort zones.

What Happens On The Inside?

In trying to understand a situation or make a decision, emotions help you deduce whether what you have concluded is a good idea. When you think about something that contradicts your values, your emotions will signal the contradiction. When thinking about something that could hurt you, your emotions will tell you that this is not a good idea. In fact: simply imagining what might happen sparks your emotions in ways that can lead to better decisions.

How You Signal Your Social World

Body language is very, very real, although the accuracy of interpretation by others is less than scientific. The fact is, you and I display our inner emotions on our outer bodies. Your face alone contains about 90 muscles, 30 of whose sole purpose is sending emotional signals to other people.

Unless you are playing poker these signals can be unbelievably useful because they help others decide how to behave towards us. If someone appears angry, then hassling them or trying to get an agreement at that moment is probably not a good idea. If they look fearful you could offer help or support, leading to an enhanced relationship.

So?

Everyone wants to be influential in some way. Cutting off or ignoring emotions at work actually reduces the chance of making effective decisions (ignoring the inner-twinge could be costly) and connecting with your boss and colleagues. They've  each got 30 facial muscles designed to provide you with reading material--heck, that's easier than War and Peace.

Don't worry about always reading the emotion perfectly. What others want to know is that you recognize something is going on, you aren't making judgments, and you are there as another human being if something is needed.

Finally: stay in tune with your own emotions. They're designed to tell you something is happening on the inside and you need to pay attention.

These are the original text messages of the heart and soul. At minimum, keep your inner-iPhone on vibrate.

Comments

[Wally Bock]

Nice post, Steve, even if the title is a tad misleading. You don't have any choice about whether you bring your emotions to work. They show up when you do. It's what you do with them there that matters.

When I was coming up, the advice was always to "control your emotions." This is almost impossible to do. But what you can control is how you act when you're aroused emotionally.

[Steve Roesler]

Thanks, Wally,

The title was enticing though, eh? :-)

I am struck by "what you can control is how you act when you're aroused emotionally. " That, to me, is the money line.

[Chris Witt]

Like Wally I was reared in the "control your emotions" mode, which paradoxically made them more out of control. (Sit on your anger long enough and watch out.)

I think there are two things we can control.

The first thing we can control is the one you and Wally mention: how we act when we're emotionally aroused.

And there's something else we can control: how we think and act before we get aroused.

If I'm tired, stressed, hungry, lonely, frustrated, in physical pain of some sort, my emotional response is going to be out of kilter and an unreliable gauge of what's really going on. So instead of being mildly irked that you left a cup unwashed in the sink (AGAIN!), I may fly into a rage.

[Dan Ahern]

It is now better known that good decisions cannot be made without emotional information, but as noted in the post, there is a wide range in people's abilities to perceive emotions, use that information to inform thinking, understand emotional flow, and manage emotions for self and with others. And, we constantly battle with the old school that suggests there is no place for emotion(s) in the workplace.

Thankfully, emotional intelligence can be developed, and there is a valid assessment to help one understand these abilities at the task level. The MSCEIT, Peter Salovey and Jack Mayer's work made actionable by David Caruso, can be administered to individuals who are motivated to become more effective as individual contributors, colleagues and managers.

Information about the MSCEIT can be found at www.mhs.com/ei

[nike shox]

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.