Do These And You'll Be Coaching

This week has been busy and kind of professionally eclectic, with projects ranging from editing video for a client's marketing kick-off to facilitating the merger of two professional firms to launching the Coaching Managers to Coach eGuide (see the sidebar). I hope you'll find the free download helpful and use as many tips as possible for yourself or with your organization.

The good question that briefly delayed the eGuide launch got me thinking about how we often wait for a corporate directive to do what we already know is right. I think Coaching falls into that category.

Managers can certainly coach and in the absence of a corporate initiative or full-blown, formal training program.

If you'd like to get started, here are a half dozen things you can do. Try one or two at a time until you've built a coaching element into your management repertoire. Your team will appreciate it and you'll find you have more time for those bigger-picture issues that your own boss has been asking you about. The first one is actually something you don't have to do!

Six Steps to Coaching

1. Stop fixing everyone's stuff.

OK, the next time someone brings you a problem, stop. Do nothing. Then. . .

2. Ask them for more information using open-ended questions.

You already know how to ask questions. (And you may already know the answer to the question. But no one will learn much if they don't learn to think through issues on their own). The trick for "coaching managers" is to click a mental switch that triggers a question instead of an answer. An easy way to to develop the questioning habit is to think of yourself as a journalist and start your responses with:

• Who. . .?

• What. . .?

• When. . .?

• Where. . .?

• How. . .?

3. Use the bonus question that will automatically buy some time and gather more information: "Tell me more about that?"

4. Listen. (That means "Shut up, don't speak.")

You'll be surprised at how much you'll learn by listening. Once the other person stops talking, give them  space to say more. Count silently to 10 if you have to. You'll discover that this block of information will reveal more than the first and often gives them the self-revealing "Aha!" needed. In which case, you'll be a hero.

5. Ask More.

OK, so they didn't get to the heart of the matter in #4. When your person's responses and energy start to fade, that's your cue to ask another open-ended question. Ask it about something they've just told you. Ask anything that will help continue the exploration of the issue. You can't really ask a "wrong" question.

Note. The reason you can't ask a wrong question is this: Your role is to alternate between helping them explore (questions) and being silent (just listen). The act of listening after a question is a gift that few people get. Listening shows respect. When it comes from "the boss" it's an indication of trust in one's ability to problem-solve. 

6. Support giving "it" a try. You'll find that the Q&A process will have generated ideas and actions in your person's mind. This is where you help them stretch by suggesting, "Do you want to give that a try and let me know how it's going?" 

So, What Just Happened?

You've helped someone develop more confidence in themselves, built trust in your mutual relationship, and created a little more time for your own strategic thinking while they're working on the agreed-upon action.

If you are spending more of your managerial life answering than asking, you may be working way too hard. You may also be making yourself indispensable in your current job. That may work well if this is where you want to spend the rest of your career--and, if the job doesn't go away.

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What I'm Reading

Managing Leadership's Jim Stroup has a good post, Reconciliation, that's related to this one in a way. Jim asks what happens when we step back to see what the other people around us at work really need.

Sound advice on Assuring Sustainable Learning from MaryJo Asmus.

Brett Simmons on a favorite topic of mine: The Courage to Take Moral Action.

Wally Bock's review of The Pursuit of Something Better.

The energetic article from Fistful of Talent's Jessica Lee on Social Network Recruiting = Discriminatory Hiring Practices .  Looks like the lawyers are at it again.

Comments

[Mary Jo Asmus]

Steve, great advice. I can't wait to read the new e-guide. And you've prompted me to write about my own take on how to create great coaching questions (soon to be on the blog).

Also, thanks for the nice plug on Assuring Sustainable Learning.

[Lluc Potrony]

Great advice.

[Rhett Laubach]

Great post, as always. The best part of this strategy is that the focus "in the moment" is on the relationship. The strategy's end goal is focused on the result (which is company/organization/stock holders/management driven and can cause the team to shut down), but it doesn't feel that way in the moment with a game plan like this. Awesome!

[www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1054272572]

Great post. I just sent the link around to Prestwick House managers.

[Chris Witt]

Steve,
Ask and listen. Ask some more and listen some more. I try to pay attention to four different levels of what the other person is trying to communicate: 1) the facts, 2) the meaning, 3) the feelings, and 4) the intention or desire. And, as you suggest, I try my best to shut up.

Chris

[Steve Roesler]

Mary Jo

Pleased to know you'll continue the topic! (Be sure to visit Mary Jo's site; always good thoughts and resourceful information).

[Steve Roesler]

Lluc, now we simply need to sit back and see if anyone takes the advice:-)

[Steve Roesler]

Rhett,

Spoken through the filter of practical experience. Hope all is well out there and that you're continuing to build leaders with character. . .

[Steve Roesler]

Jason, very cool. Let me know if any of them open it! :-)

[Steve Roesler]

Chris,

Thanks for adding your four levels here; it would be hugely helpful for folks to think in those terms.

And yes, the human condition seems to always want to provide a wise response instead of a wise question!