Getting The Response You Want

Today's Guest Writer: Frode Heimen, whose Never Mind The Manager always has the ring of experience because Frode lives the life each day as a Department Manager at a Telecom in Norway. Frode is a constant champion of best management practices and productivity.

Do you want to buy me a house?

It is not about asking the right question, it is all about asking the question in the right way. I asked a friend to buy me a house, and I got a positive response! How is that possible at all? Could you then ask for favors at work and get more positive responses? Yes it is all in the way you ask.

I asked my friend if he was interested in making an extra $600 per month for four years, earning him $28.800. I got his attention. I said, you need to buy a house, rent it to me for four years, and I will buy it from you then with an extra reward of $10.000. I am renting today, and by renting from my friend the money would help a friend instead of a stranger. He was very interested until I pulled the plug of my social experiment. But I managed to get someone interested in investing approximately $270.000; so, shouldn't you should be able to get people to simply do their job as well?

Changing A Response to Lateness

I once had an employee who struggled getting to work on time. She was always late. I could ask her to get to work on time again and again. It would not help.

So, I started by getting her to be more effective. Remember, my goal was to get her to arrive on time for work. I had follow up conversations once per month and did not mention her being late at all. I made sure that she was improving in quality and efficiency. So one day I sat down and said, "You have been working here for a while now and doing a great job, improving in all areas." I continued by talking about the future. How she had been working at a call center for more than two years now, quite an accomplishment! How getting a good resume from such a job is gold when applying to future jobs. Working in a call center for 3 of 4 years would show that she are a fighter could handle high workloads and stress.

And finally: "You are heading for a valuable resume for the day you decide to move on, but there is just one thing: if you can improve your tardiness you will get a flawless resume, but tardiness is not a liked skill with future employers. If you evaporate tardiness from a future resume, you will be guaranteed to get good jobs later on."

She has not been late since.

The Lesson

It will be more likely to get a positive response when displaying the value while asking for a change in behavior. And if you have managed so that you know each person well you will know what values they treasure, making it easier to create your questions.

How do you get the response you want?

Comments

[Dan Erwin]

This is a brilliant approach to feedback, building upon communication theory and theories surrounding issues of guilt and shame--issues which so often get in the way of delivering and accepting feedback. Research shows that when feedback is fundamentally negative, the recipient will avoid the person for sometime in the future, filter information and constrict thinking. What you have done is circumvent that process by giving highly descriptive and constructive feedback for success, focusing on effort and achievement.

Fact of the matter, we can learn as much and sometimes more by dissecting our successes and figuring out why such and such worked so well. Too often managers give a quick "good job" response and then go to a long discussion of weakness--which usually fails. Here's my longer, research-based discussion: http://bit.ly/K8xtD

[Frode H]

Hi Dan.
Thank you for the great comment. I read your article (http://bit.ly/K8xtD) - I am doing a traditional form of feedback, but I must say I enjoyed reading your article and it makes sense. I think I will change my approach on feedback right now. Feedback in a call center world is easy, so easy that they can easily make their own feedback, and I can sit back listen and coach them to make sure that they reach their goals. Thank you for commenting and for sharing.

Frode.

[John DeFlumeri Jr]

That was a well-said review about the lateness. You got through to her effectively! Lateness is a giant bad habit that people get into, and it can be stopped, you proved it!

John DeFlumeri Jr Clearwater, Fla.