What About Self-Deception At Work?

You know about this.

You're at work and Jerry in Marketing is a pain in the butt. Jerry got 87 pieces of 360 feedback that told him he is a pain in the butt. What does Jerry say?

"I am committed to my belief system."

In Jerry's case, that appears to be some secret code phrase for "Regardless of what you show me, I will ignore your evidence and bless you with my unbending wonderfulness."

When asked about the 87 pieces of consistent feedback, Jerry laments that he is misunderstood. By 87 people. All the time.

The Truth About Self-Deception

Thankfully, WE aren't like Jerry. Or are we?

The folks at one of my faves, PsyBlog, tell us:

". . .it's not hard to spot the tell-tale symptoms of self-deception in other people. So perhaps we are also deceiving ourselves in ways we can't clearly perceive? But is that really possible and would we really believe the lies that we 'told' ourselves anyway? That's what Quattrone & Tversky (1984) explored in a classic social psychology experiment published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology."

If you want to understand more about the ease of self-deception, read The Truth About Self-Deception.

The conclusion:

"This experiment is neat because it shows the different gradations of self-deception, all the way up to its purest form, in which people manage to trick themselves hook, line and sinker. At this level people think and act as though their incorrect belief is completely true, totally disregarding any incoming hints from reality."

Now, send the link to Jerry in Marketing. (I kept one for myself, too).
__________________________________

Suggestion from Dr. Peter Vajda at SpiritHeart:

"Some folks might also want to read the Arbinger Institute's book, Leadership and Self Deception. For folks who think, "How can I be (part of) the problem - at work, a home, at play and in relationship - this is an eye-opening, tug-on-the-sleeve journey to self awareness.

The real problem with self deception is that, being "blind" to the truth, none of the solutions we bring to the table ever work. How could they?

When we blame, we blame because of ourselves, not because of others - the crux of self-deception - a harsh reality to explore for many. If we stare into that mirror long enough, we'll see its true reflection."

Comments

[Martin Proulx]

Good post.

The situation is even worst when Jerry is your boss! Getting a colleague to take the feedback is a challenge in itself and getting him to act on the feedback is a much greater challenge.

Having a boss accept the feedback and act on it is pretty much impossible. The only hope is that Jerry's boss has already provided such feedback and will make sure it is addressed, otherwise people will have to working with Jerry-the-pain-in-the-butt.

[Steve Roesler]

Martin,

Indeed. Working it "upward" has a set of challenges that collegial feedback doesn't; or, at least it seems that way, given the power structure of most organizations.

FYI: Just spoke with someone who got multiple, identical bits of feedback and insists that they are all wrong.

How can they be "wrong"? It's descriptive, independent, and includes examples.

Time for another experiment. . .

[peter vajda]

Hi Steve, a thought:

Ask Jerry what the one common denominator is with the 87 folks who don't understand him...not unlike asking one who complains about a succession of failed relationships...what's the one common denominator among all your partners...

the short answer: me

the jouney of unveiling self-deception