You know about this.
You're at work and Jerry in Marketing is a pain in the butt. Jerry got 87 pieces of 360 feedback that told him he is a pain in the butt. What does Jerry say?
"I am committed to my belief system."
In Jerry's case, that appears to be some secret code phrase for "Regardless of what you show me, I will ignore your evidence and bless you with my unbending wonderfulness."
When asked about the 87 pieces of consistent feedback, Jerry laments that he is misunderstood. By 87 people. All the time.The Truth About Self-Deception
Thankfully, WE aren't like Jerry. Or are we?
The folks at one of my faves, PsyBlog, tell us:
". . .it's not hard to spot the tell-tale symptoms of self-deception in other people. So perhaps we are also deceiving ourselves in ways we can't clearly perceive? But is that really possible and would we really believe the lies that we 'told' ourselves anyway? That's what Quattrone & Tversky (1984) explored in a classic social psychology experiment published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology."
If you want to understand more about the ease of self-deception, read The Truth About Self-Deception.
"This experiment is neat because it shows the different gradations of self-deception, all the way up to its purest form, in which people manage to trick themselves hook, line and sinker. At this level people think and act as though their incorrect belief is completely true, totally disregarding any incoming hints from reality."Now, send the link to Jerry in Marketing. (I kept one for myself, too).
Suggestion from Dr. Peter Vajda at SpiritHeart:
"Some folks might also want to read the Arbinger Institute's book, Leadership and Self Deception.
For folks who think, "How
can I be (part of) the problem - at work, a home, at play and in
relationship - this is an eye-opening, tug-on-the-sleeve journey to self
The real problem with self deception is that, being "blind" to the truth, none of the solutions we bring to the table ever work. How could they?
When we blame, we blame because of ourselves, not because of others - the crux of self-deception - a harsh reality to explore for many. If we stare into that mirror long enough, we'll see its true reflection."