Influence: Use Words That Connect

You need to find the connection between people's needs and wishes and your own goals in order to genuinely be influential. 

When asked how he became influential, former U.S. President Harry Truman said simply: "I find out what people want and then I help them get it."

First, Find Out What They Want

If you're looking for questions that work well, here are six. You can use your own variations on the theme:

• What do you really like about the current situation?

• What would you like to see happen differently?

• What do you need from this?

• Is there something that is most important to you?

• What is your preferred action in this situation?

Then, Use The Right Words

You've asked questions and have a good grasp of the other person's situation. Now, it's time to select words that really make your ideas pop. Do what good writers do and pick words that stimulate and connect. Here are some examples:

Feeling words: Impress, thrill, intrigued, lively, brisk, grasp,

Words that attract the sense of hearing: resonate, harmonize, tuned in, clear as a bell, loud and clear

Visual words: pinpoint, bright, focused, imagine, reveal, picture

You get the idea. Words matter.

Toss out the professional jargon and focus on the senses of your listener. Then, imagine the thrill of knowing your sharp idea made the right impression.

photo source:wikipedia http://tinyurl.com/yzc7eeg

Comments

[Carol Silvis]

Great questions to ask to find out what someone wants or how he/she feels. It is so important to really listen if you hope to make a solid connection with someone. Too many people are worried about what they will say next to take the time to listen.

[Steve Roesler]

Carol,

Isn't that so true?I wonder what would happen once people figured out that it takes less work not worrying about what to say next?!

Thanks for the addition. . .