So How Was Your Family Holiday? Since You Asked. . .

I've written previously about the stress and nuttiness that can accompany family gatherings, particularly at special times.

Like Christmas.

So when our daughter mentioned to her grandfather (my dad) that it looked as if he had an unusual mark on his face, he replied, "Oh, yes, that's cancer. I didn't want to say anything for fear of upsetting anyone."

This prompted a moment of silence followed by a torrent of un-sanctified responses that might have prolonged the arrival of the actual baby Jesus. Since we consider this a family blog we'll omit those responses and pick up at the Disney-approved dialog:

Daughter: Poppi, what's that mark under your eye?

Grandfather: Oh, it's a spot where the cancer begins.

(Non-Disney reactions, accusations, characterizations, and more than a few references to heritage and ancestry)

Me: Uh, when did this start?

Grandfather: When I was diagnosed by the dermatologist in October.

(See previous parenthetical phrase).

Me: What did he say was the diagnosis and  follow up?

Grandfather: He wanted me to come back and have it removed, given the biopsy. But I don't want a scar all the way down the side of my face like some pirate.

Me: So, when is the appointment?

Grandfather: I haven't gotten back to him yet. Who wants to look like a pirate?

Note: My father lives nearby in a wonderfully staffed and operated assisted living home and has what amounts to an apartment with a nursing station 20 feet away. He is 100% lucid, rides around on a scooter (having lost a leg to diabetes) and is the "mailman" for the facility. He'll be 89 years old soon and survived the Normandy invasion unscathed. Further medical investigation today has revealed that the "pirate" fantasy is just that. The procedure, assuming that the lack of attention hasn't changed anything, would require two or three stitches. But we still need to get him back to the specialist quickly.

Why Am I Writing About This?

1. I wanted to let readers and @steveroesler Twitter folks know why I'm  under the radar screen right now. We're following up and doing whatever it takes to make the right things happen as fast as possible, especially given the two-month lag time. 

2. I deeply value the All Things Workplace community and wanted to let you know that I'm not just slacking off and cavalierly forgetting our ongoing connection.

3. I know my dad and family would value your prayers and thoughts.

In the meantime, thanks to all who have commented here over the past week or so. I'm heading to the comment section to get caught up with responses. As soon as the family feels that we have accurate info and the related follow-through in place for my dad, we'll return to "our regular broadcast schedule."

Warmest regards,

Steve

Comments

[Sharlyn Lauby]

Steve - please know my thoughts are with you and your family. I know how scary these things can be (and how important it is to keep a sense of humor.)

Take care...

[Steve Roesler]

Sharlyn, thanks a bunch.

[Becky Robinson]

Thanks for checking in, Steve. I will definitely keep you and your family in my prayers. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help.

Since this is my first holiday season with All Things Workplace, I thought this might be just a normal holiday break for you. Otherwise, I would have been bombarding you with emails. :)

[Mary Jo Asmus]

Steve,

Your father sounds like a wonderful man (albeit stubborn). And you are obviously a good son. My thoughts and prayers are with all of you, and I wish you and your dad the best that the new year can bring.

[Erin Schreyer]

Steve -
Thoughts and prayers are with you and you family. Way to lead the charge to keep your father in the best of health. Your Twitter family will be awaiting good news...

[twitter.com/joanschramm]

Steve --

How good of you to let us all in on your dad's situation, and the fallout from it -- and done in your usual inimitable style, too! You must be very anxious, and I'll keep you and your whole family in my thoughts for a good outcome. Your dad sounds like a very cool guy! Give him a hug from me, and one for you, too. Blessings and peace for now and the New Year.

Warmly,

Joan

[Camille Macchio]

Steve, You and your family are in my thoughts. I like your Dad's spunk, and if he's anything like my Mom was, he needs to feel like he is in control and independent, thus his reluctance to schedule that follow up appointment.

Keep plugging away, and I'll look forward to your return to All Things Workplace.

Camille

[Gina Fredenburgh]

Steve, my thoughts and prayers are with you and family. I've had similar situations with both my parents, including the exclamations, etc. Charge on!

[Karl Staib - Work Happy Now]

My dad is very stubborn too. He waited 1 year too long to get hip surgery and now he is paying the price. It's taking him 2x longer to recover.

You figure that since your dad lost his leg he wouldn't be so worried about his looks. Social perspective is a funny beast.

I'll pray for your family today. I just know that he will get back to the doctors very soon.

[Positivitycoach]

Steve, all my positive energy to your dad and family. I definitely understand this scenario and am facing something similar with myself right now. Getting care and answers is surely the best thing to move forward and am trying to follow that same advice. You are in my thoughts, Anissa

[Steve Roesler]

Becky, Mary Jo, Erin, Camille, Gina, Karl, and Anissa,

Thank you all for taking time to offer prayer and good wishes. It does make a difference and we appreciate it deeply.

Anissa, thinking of you and your situation as well. And Karl, I'm starting to think that maybe when we reach 89 or so, we'll get a free pass to be a little stubborn, too:-)

Warmest regards,

Steve

[Joe, Dawn and Annaliese Raasch]

Steve,

Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family as we all transition to 2010. You've chosen to publicly address this topic...and I know that somewhere, someone will follow up with their loved one because you did. Thank you and God bless!

Joe, Dawn and Annaliese

[Steve Roesler]

Joe,

It's good to see you again! Sure hope all is continuing well with the schools and that you are enjoying the gig.

Thanks for the kind words and yes, it would be terrific if this prompted someone else to intervene in a similar circumstance.

Best wishes to you, Dawn, and Annaliese. . .

[GL HOFFMAN]

Good luck with this Steve. Hope it turns out great. I am thinking a pirate scar is just what he needs....chicks love scars.
He is in our prayers.

[Linda Zdanowicz]

Steve good luck and strength to you as you deal with this and prayers for your father that everything will go smoothly. As everyone has said, what a good son you are. He'll probably love all the attention his band-aid will get, too.
Linda

[Mile High Pixie]

eeek! How fortuitous of the little one in the room to say something to Grandpa about his scar and to bring this issue to light. My thoughts are with you and your family, hoping that all goes well for your dad. Take care, and take all the time you need!

[JetJaguar]

My fam will add your fam to our prayers.

[Steve Roesler]

GL,

I think he's on a roll with the "chicks love scars" idea. Thanks for turning around his thinking.

[Steve Roesler]

Good to see "The Jetster" back for the New Year, and I'll pass the knowledge of your prayers along to dad.

[Dan Erwin]

Steve, As a successful survivor of cancer, I appreciate your concerns and my prayers are with you and your dad. Our Thanksgiving, too, was tragic. I realized that my beloved wife is well into leaving us with Alzheimers. I find great support in John Claypool's sermon on the loss of his daughter to cancer. "I live," he said, "with gratitude for the years she was with us."

Dan