Managers: Reduce Stress by Increasing the Feedback

"Whatever is unresolved becomes a stressor"

Managers add stress to their lives by postponing important conversations and letting them build up until their heads start to feel like a balloon waiting to burst. Or, we try to submerge those thoughts until we discover that they tend to pop out in strange and often harmful ways. How many times have we received--or given--a terse comment that really was the result of some long- unspoken feeling?

Why Does Feedback Matter?

Feedback started as a term used to describe the signals sent from a rocket back to earth in order to determine the accuracy of the rocket's course. By tracking speed and trajectory, ground crews could determine when and where to make corrections.

At some point in time, the term Feedback was incorporated into business language as a way to talk about performance. And, as in rocket flight, it has been determined that the best way for a person to stay "on course" is to assess where one stands at any given moment in relation to the task or goal at hand.

Here's the really important point: The chances of impacting performance increase with frequency and timeliness of feedback. That implies the need for ongoing "How are we doing?" conversations. It's our best chance at knowing whether we're on track or not.

So, What Gets In The Way of Giving Feedback?

1. Let's face it: few of us enjoy hearing about those areas of work life where we're coming up short. It's human nature. The flip side is that managers are people, too, and they have the same thoughts and feelings. So it's not exactly a peak experience being the proverbial "messenger" even though it comes with the job.

2. The term "feedback" has morphed into "Here's what you need to correct" instead of "Here's how I think we're doing."

3. Feedback has been institutionalized to the point where it is often done at yearly or semi-annual performance reviews. That's usually too far away from the actual performance for a person to make the kind of changes that will alter an outcome. So, it become  a "Gotcha!"

4. It takes a relationship built on trust to have meaningful conversations about performance.

Trust comes from a series of interactions where people have made agreements, talked about how things were going, and then lived up to what they said they would do. And if something goes wrong, one person points that out to the other. They talk about what to do differently. And they learn that, even if something does go wrong, they care enough to bring it up and do something about it. I've said this before: The people you trust the most are the people who tell you the truth--good and bad. If it's good, they offer encouragement. If it's bad, they offer ways to work with you to sort things out.

5. Lack of ongoing, natural conversation about work life gets in the way of building relationships that breed the level of trust we need to have ongoing, natural conversations. It's circular.

What Can You Do?

1. Managers: Start the conversation from Day 1.

Set the tone for the future early on by asking, "How are things going with project x?" What didn't we anticipate? What's going well? What isn't going well, so we can find out how to get it on track? Then make sure that both of you do what you say you'll do.

2. Employees: If there isn't a conversation, start one.

Turn the questions in #1 into statements. For example, "Here's how project x is going." "Here's what we didn't anticipate." Sure, maybe your boss doesn't like bad news. Here's a secret: Surprises are worse than bad news.If you start the conversation, you have a better chance of putting your boss at ease with the whole idea of "How are we doing?"

3. Keep talking about having conversations, not feedback.

Language conveys feeling. The whole notion of feedback has degenerated to the point where the word contains more negative connotations than positive. Why? Maybe because it was never meant to be associated with the human condition in the first place. From the time we're kids we have conversations. We talk about "What's going on" and "How are things going?"

4. Start having ongoing "How are we doing?" conversations. Start now.



I absolutely guarantee you that two people of goodwill can increase their combined performance and reduce their stress-inducing baggage by having regular, honest talks about their progress and the factors impacting it. These kinds of talks are the foundation of every good relationship, on and off the job.

Bonus Thought: The longer you wait, the larger the "negative" becomes and the more difficult it is to discuss. Regular, frequent conversations mean that the problem areas will be smaller and easier to talk about!

Comments

[twitter.com/GAStroz]

Steve, you raise some sound suggestions, especially the ideas of taking more control of the process as an employee and changing the language from "feedback" to conversation. The idea of feedback in the business world has gotten to be so institutionalized and rigorous that it seems almost more like a punchline than a meaningful business process (plus, I believe it likely appears on many of those "bull**** bingo" cards that one can use at a meeting to entertain himself).

Having just done this myself as an employee (having a discussion with my manager to discuss not only performance but how to align my development needs with the company's objectives), I can certainly say that taking more control of your destiny in this manner certainly helps to reduce stress. In the worst case, it reduces the uncertainty that can make your future path unclear, which in turn makes it harder to make career decisions.

[Rodney Johnson]

Steve, I know you're not a fan of CBS's Undercover Boss, neither am I. However, when I do watch it, I'm amazed at how weak the feedback loops up to the CEO tend to be. Feedback is one of the most important, integral and overlooked tools inside many organizations.

[Travis Branzell]

My favorite are the managers that drop feedback on you when you have your performance review. Especially negative feedback. It seems as though some managers notice flaws in your performance, but let it build up or don't express the importance of how it directly and indirectly effects the flow of work until you sit down with them for your performance review....when it could have been solved much earlier if the manager had taken the initiative to discuss it as soon as it happened. People, not just managers, don't like confrontation or to be told that they aren't meeting expectations. That's just human nature. But, as a manager, if you commonly provide negative and positive feedback to your subordinates, that uncomfortable confrontation will eventually become more comfortable and your subordinates will more likely learn from the feedback rather than feel as though you are taking a shot at them. Approach is everything of course. Refining your approach on how you express negative feedback to individuals so they perceive the message as something they should learn from rather than perceive it as you, the manager, exercising your power is very important, and this can easily be achieved.

[Travis Branzell]

As a subordinate, it doesn't hurt to ask for feedback too.

[Monica Diaz]

Steve, yes! We have kind of turned the word "feedback" into a bad word in the corporate setting. Then people are like: "Oh, boy...she's going to give me feedback!" So, they brace themselves. Nothing less conducive to being effective in improving performance! ;) I love your antidote! If we all follow those four tips, there is no need even for the word, it becomes a part of being committed together in achieving what we want, in doing our best, in supporting eachother every day. People who like to think together, who can come to eachother with their shortcomings, who can recognize the positive in eachother, will naturally generate the trust necessary for effective conversations about performance on a daily basis that are welcomed and sought out by both parties.

[Steve Roesler]

Greg,

You've nailed it with the "take control of your destiny" line. In fairness to managers at "development discussion time," the best ones can help you see your real talents but still need to know what the employee wants out of a career. The very best companies teach the employees, as well as the managers, how to have that conversation.

[Steve Roesler]

Rodney,

Nah, I'm not a fan except in the "What the heck was that?!" sense.

Every successful CEO I've ever worked with created ways to find out, first hand, what was going on continually. Even in the largest companies.

At first blush, these shows reflect poorly on exactly what you mention: the feedback loop. If an executive has to wait until approached by a "reality" show to find out what's going on, the show should be named "Underqualified CEO."

[Steve Roesler]

Travis,

The semi-annual or annual "dump" only satisfies a policy requirement; it does nothing, as you mention, to help performance when most needed.

What we know for a fact: performance improves with frequency and accuracy of feedback.

Accurate feedback 6 months after the fact isn't very useful and feels like a "gotcha", eh?

[Steve Roesler]

Monica,

Thanks for the affirmation on this topic. It did come about as a result of watching people in client organizations automatically tense up and assume the worse when they heard they were going to get some "feedback." There fears are actually well-founded, because too many managers at all levels:

a. Only deliver critical information
b. Wait until too long after the fact for the person to legitimately change what needed to change

Employees, especially younger ones, want bosses who see themselves as coaches. When that change becomes real, we'll see a change in the attitude toward performance conversations.

Thanks, Monica.

[Chris Young]

Great post Steve - Fostering conversations and not forcing feedback is a powerful shift in mindset that can bring about amazing change. Thanks for sharing!

I've included your post in my top five blog picks of the week (found here: http://www.maximizepossibility.com/employee_retention/2010/04/the-rainmaker-fab-five-blog-picks-of-the-week.html) to help my readers change their mindset towards performance management.

Be well!