Making A Change? What People Want

1. An accurate picture of reality.

2. A sense of hope based in the proposed new reality.

3. The whole truth about 1 and 2.

Change is really about adults making effective decisions. Decisions to commit, decisions to opt out, decisions to wait a bit, decisions about what might be best for their careers and their families...

 They Want The Truth

None of those is possible without knowing the truth of the situation and why the impending changes make the future hopeful.

We all struggle at times when it comes to delivering difficult news. Organizational changes usually fit into that category.

So it's easy to start rationalizing the truth by rationalizing that people won't be able to deal with it. "If I just schmooze a bit here and leave off a nasty detail there, it will be easier on everyone."

No. What we really mean is, "It will be easier on me."

They Can Tell When Someone is Lying

Psychology Today's  Allison Kornet explains: (bold face indicates my emphasis)

While studying how language patterns are associated with improvements in physical health, James W. Pennebaker, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at Southern Methodist University, also began to explore whether a person's choice of words was a sign of deception. Examining data gathered from a text analysis program, Pennebaker and SMU colleague Diane Berry, Ph.D., determined that there are certain language patterns that predict when someone is being less than honest. For example, liars tend to use fewer first person words like I or my in both speech and writing. They are also less apt to use emotional words, such as hurt or angry, cognitive words, like understand or realize, and so-called exclusive words, such as but or without, that distinguish between what is and isn't in a category.

And in a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, Bella DePaulo, Ph.D. and Deborah A. Kashy, Ph.D., of Texas A&M University, report that frequent liars tend to be manipulative and Machiavellian, not to mention overly concerned with the impression they make on others.

In DePaulo's studies, participants (liars) described conversations in which they lied as less intimate and pleasant than truthful encounters, suggesting that people are not entirely at ease with their deceptions. That may explain why falsehoods are more likely to be told over the telephone, which provides more anonymity than a face-to-face conversation.

Lessons for Change Leaders

1. Even if you're telling the whole truth, your credibility may be diminished if you don't communicate in person. Why? Because the lack of face-to-face intimacy conveys an implicit undercurrent of deception. The listeners may not even realize it, but they know at some level that more truths get told in person than via another medium.

2. Tell people what you think and feel by using "I" and "my" vs. "Acme Widgetworks". People care how you see the reality--in detail--of the situation; and, specifically why you are hopeful about the future.

3. Changes prompt an entire range of emotions in everyone involved. That means you, too. An absence of honest emotional language sends the message that you actually don't care. People don't want a canned business speech. They want you. That means hearing the impact the changes are having and why, again, you are hopeful about the future in light of the current reality.

They Can Handle It

People can handle the truth. What they don't handle well is finding out later that they only heard part of the truth.

If you're tempted to put a little icing on the message, remember that Marie Antoinette thought it was a good idea to "let them eat cake." She didn't end up heads above her constituents.

Image source:  www.coolthings.com

Comments

[Mary Jo Asmus]

Thank you for this great information, Steve. I appreciated the studies on lying. I think it's sad that leaders are sometimes told to "hold back" on certain information, particularly when the news is bad. I understand issues of confidentiality, but sometimes the information they withold really needs to be shared as long as it doesn't breach a personal confidentiality. And if information is withheld, you can bet that employees can smell it. Suspicion of less-than-truthfulness is generally worse than letting it out.

[Steve Roesler]

Mary Jo

I confess to having a mild smirk on my face when I see MBA programs touting "Ethics" classes, as if it is a deep philosophical issue that has many sides. Either you tell the truth or you don't. Anything else, IMHO, is the corporate version of "lawyering up" and seeing how many ways one can have "the law" interpreted. (What is the definition of "is"?).

I've always believed that the length of an explanation is a good indicator of its voracity. Truth comes in a sentence. BS comes in paragraphs.

[Joan Schramm]

Steve -- Count me in as also wondering why we need classes in ethics -- or why the Congress needs "ethics rules". Isn't it obvious? Truth/lies; integrity/cheating; sharing/shelfishness. Didn't we all learn that from our mommas?

What kind of person do you have to be, to need a rule so you know it isn't ethical to take payments from someone you're going to be doing business with in the future? How do you justify that it's OK to cut corners in manufacturing as long as no one finds out? What makes someone think that betting against your own investments is the right thing to do?

Shaking my head in bewilderment...

Thanks for your article!

[michael cardus]

With the view of ethics the problem is that it is only one class at most. Most of the leadership and MBA programs I have spoken to and consulted with have a small section of ethics that is covered in perhaps one class.
The area of ethics that is beyond that of morals are areas of justice, reciprocity, autonomy, privacy. Yes telling the truth falls into those categories. Reading Aristotle's Nicomachean ethics, or perhaps truly taking time to have students or employees explore actual ethical concerns from the organization. For example the blocking of facebook, impeding on employees private lives through hiring using social media presence. What is thought to be "obviously right" is another area that one may think is "obviously wrong".
The ignorance of what ethics is causes people to feel that what is "ethically correct" are relativistic post-modern thoughts of arguments.

http://bit.ly/d3oQNi

[Steve Roesler]

Hello, Michael

Thanks for adding that take from your experiential perspective and I would encourage readers to have a look at the post that you offered http://bit.ly/d3oQNi

[Teresa Thompson]

Heard that! "You can't handle the truth." Oh yes I can. The truth is always the best way to go. The truth will minimize speculation, paranoia, wasted productivity trying to figure out what is really being said. Tell it like it is. Your teams will respect you more and work hard for you.
Teresa
http://www.dailyvoicemaildealio.com
Your Virtual Retail Coach!

[Oscar Marroquin]

A few years ago the message was that we needed to take the change, own it and communicate in a supportive way, regardless of what we thought of it. The idea was that if the messager was not positive about the change, then how could we expect the people receiving the message to accept it. Over the years I have seen a change. I've been asked directly by my team to express my opinion. I must admit that its difficult. I have learned that they "can handle the truth" and actually are more supportive of the changes when the message is personalized. The message must always be communicated in a manner that it "can be heard." At the end of the day, the leader will be measured by how the change was communicated and supported.

[Steve Roesler]

Teresa and Oscar

Indeed. Adults need real info to make real decisions. Even if we don't like it, we're mature enough to know that all of life's events won't make us happy. We're also adult enough to know that we can make decent decisions with honest information.

[TheLeaderLab]

Great ideas. I think most of the people who are labelled bad leaders are label so because they aren't honest about 1 or 2. As a result, followers arrive at the outcome and are disappointed.