I'm not sure where these originated, but they were emailed to me by an ex-boss. I'm not sure what that means, either.
Useful Work Phrases Guaranteed To At Least Make You Feel Better
1. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
2. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
3. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
4. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
5. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't care.
6. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
7. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
8. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
9. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
10. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
11. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
12. How about never? Is never good for you?
13. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
14. You sound reasonable. Time to up my medication.
15. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
Yeah. You really do want to try one out, eh? :-)