3 Tips For Better Communication

I'm guessing that you and I both spend a lot of time in meetings and discussions at work. Here are three things you can do to make them count:

Stop the Stoppers

Yesterday I watched a manager engage another manager in a topic that was clearly important (to manager #1). I watched manager #2 respond. It went well. Why? Because of the response. 

When someone engages you in serious conversation, your reaction will either encourage the other person to keep talking or stop things dead in their tracks. (Our manager #2 wasn't a conversation killer). Here's a list of some stoppers I've seen: lecturing, interrogating, ordering, blaming, and moralizing. Don't think so? Take a moment to replay the last six unpleasant conversations you've had. 

Thank you.

Overcome Personal Bias

Become aware of your own stereotypical thinking that ultimately leads to a self-fulfilling prophecy as a result of your predictable responses. It's difficult, but there's a big payoff in learning to listen objectively. What's the payoff? Our reception to messages is unclouded and we actually learn something new. Learning organizations are listening organizations.

Off-The-Subject Subjects Are the Subject

You've heard a remark in the middle of a conversation that seems "off topic" and, therefore, irrelevant. 

Nah.

You may be hearing what is really on the other person's mind. See what happens if you pursue the new subject. You may very well be the one who helps get the real issue out on the table and resolved. 

What tips would you add from your experience?

Comments

[Devon Shane]

This is great! What easy, fun, actionable stuff to make people you work with smile. Love it, I am going to do some of this when I am in the office next week. I was wondering, have you considered what this kind of behavior can do to organization culture? It seems to me like an empowering way for employees to start single-handedly shifting the culture of their companies to being one of mutual help, which is healthy and can spur motivation and engagement. I think a culture of helping is imperative to the future of organizations as we face increasing complexity and shift to flatter organizational structures. What do you think?

[Kerry Palmer]

Great suggestions. I have found that taking notes and keeping my mouth shut for a time will help me overcome my personal bias to what someone may be saying. If I really pay attention, I am less likely to cut the person off and shut down the conversation.

[Steve Roesler]

Devon

What could be more helpful than being helpful?!

[Steve Roesler]

Hi, Kerry

You offer a valuable technique. Taking notes conveys attentiveness while giving us time to quietly sort through what's being said.

And let's face it, Kerry: The real underlying issue for all of us is developing a humble heart in order to be able to hear.

Thanks for jumping into the conversation. . .

[Ron Shapiro]

I think you make good points here about what can kill a conversation. The key to better conversations is better listening. Be an active listener. Focus on what the other person is saying. Make eye contact, take brief notes to help you remember significant issues and be sure not to interrupt. Repeat and confirm important points, pose candid questions, and try hypothetical questions to ease touchy subjects. If you don’t understand something, ask for clarification rather than build a deal on a misassumption. Let your customers completely finish their thoughts. If you respond in mid-paragraph, you will never know what you did not hear.

[Saikrishna]

Cool....you explained in a simple way, I like to say that while a conversation is going on try to look at others also.I mean when giving a seminar or like that. Thanks for sharing :)