How You Can Be The Coach

We all have colleagues, employees, and friends with similar goals and values. You can play a coaching role by leading the other person through an insightful self-analysis and critique, resulting in some "aha!" moments. 

Try some variations of these questions:

"Do you see a problem or difficulty?

"What makes the problem worse?"

"Are you getting the results you want?" 

"What factors help the situation?"

"What needs to change, improve, or happen differently?"

"What kind of action do you need to take to make things better?"

"What kind of action do you plan to take?" "When will you start?"

"What kind of help do you need from me?"

Think about this: Making a statement keeps your mind active. Asking a question brings your listener's mind to life. 

Add value--ask the right questions.

Comments

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You can play a coaching role by leading the other person through an insightful self-analysis and critique, resulting in some "aha!"

[Kelly Austin]

Those are great questions. Just be sure that the other party is receptive to such questions. Otherwise, you may sound intrusive.

[Steve Roesler]

Indeed, Kelly.

[Chris Witt]

I love your list of questions.

Asking questions is a great way of allowing people to come to their own insight, to take responsibility for their own situation. It's also a great way for me to learn. The best question is the one that elicits an answer I wasn't expecting.

[Devon Shane]

This is great! "Making a statement keeps your mind active. Asking a question brings your listener's mind to life." I love that, so true.

I call great questions meant to stimulate others Potent Questions. They should be formulated selflessly and meant to shift the listeners' thinking just by asking the question. Potent questions are at the heart of great coaching and influence. Yes, the questions we ask can have more influence over others than the statements we make - even though conventional wisdom often teaches us the opposite.

[David M. Kasprzak]

Hi, Steve,

Great list, and a good perspective on coaching straight out of the Socratic method. What's important to remember, however, is a foundation in humility and respect. A person could ask, "What needs to change?" and "What kind of action do you need to make things better?" and respond with "These idiots just won't do what I want! I need to be a lot tougher on them."

At best, that will create some short-term panic and a termporary fit of compliance, but it will fade quickly, leading to another disappointment and even more energy spent on trying to whip people into shape for another round.