Six Tips To Help You Coach

Employees want--even expect--to be coached by their managers. The good news: even in the absence of a corporate initiative or full blown training program, managers can certainly coach effectively.

I was thinking about this while in a series of coaching sessions, and began to pay attention to the essence of what was really happening.

If you'd like to get started, here are a half dozen things you can do. Try one or two at a time until you've built a coaching element into your management repertoire. Your team will appreciate it and you'll find you have more time for those bigger-picture issues that your own boss has been asking you about. The first one is actually something you don't have to do!

 

 Six Steps to Coaching

1. Stop fixing everyone's stuff.

OK, the next time someone brings you a problem, stop. Do nothing. Then. . .

2. Ask them for more information using open-ended questions.

You already know how to ask questions. (And you may already know the answer to the question. But no one will learn much if they don't learn to think through issues on their own). The trick for "coaching managers" is to click a mental switch that triggers a question instead of an answer. An easy way to to develop the questioning habit is to think of yourself as a journalist and start your responses with:

• Who. . .?

• What. . .?

• When. . .?

• Where. . .?

• How. . .?

3. Use the bonus question that will automatically buy some time and gather more information: "Tell me more about that?"

4. Listen. (That means "Shut up, don't speak.")

You'll be surprised at how much you'll learn by listening. Once the other person stops talking, give them  space to say more. Count silently to 10 if you have to. You'll discover that this block of information will reveal more than the first and often gives them the self-revealing "Aha!" needed. In which case, you'll be a hero.

5. Ask More.

OK, so they didn't get to the heart of the matter in #4. When your person's responses and energy start to fade, that's your cue to ask another open-ended question. Ask it about something they've just told you. Ask anything that will help continue the exploration of the issue. You can't really ask a "wrong" question.

Note. The reason you can't ask a wrong question is this: Your role is to alternate between helping them explore (questions) and being silent (just listen). The act of listening after a question is a gift that few people get. Listening shows respect. When it comes from "the boss" it's an indication of trust in one's ability to problem-solve. 

6. Support giving "it" a try. You'll find that the Q&A process will have generated ideas and actions in your person's mind. This is where you help them stretch by suggesting, "Do you want to give that a try and let me know how it's going?" 

So, What Just Happened?

You've helped someone develop more confidence in themselves, built trust in your mutual relationship, and created a little more time for your own strategic thinking while they're working on the agreed-upon action.

If you are spending more of your managerial life answering than asking, you may be working way too hard. You may also be making yourself indispensable in your current job. That may work well if this is where you want to spend the rest of your career--and, if the job doesn't go away.

 

Comments

[Jamie Flinchbaugh]

I think the first one is important, but it goes beyond just fixing, it also applies to coaching...meaning, don't coach everyone.

I've noticed more than a few coaches that have a hard time letting a wrong-headed comment go uncoached. They feel compelled to intervene. Fix everything, and fix everybody. This ultimately results in a shotgun approach, and the coach is resultlingly ineffective.

Focus. Pick the people you want to coach. Pick the opportunities to coach. A rule of thumb for many should be coach less often, but deeper.

Jamie Flinchbaugh
www.JamieFlinchbaugh.com

[Tyler Murphy]

Thanks for this post - I don't think it's possible to underestimate how important listening is in every aspect of people management. It really does make all the difference in being able to help our employees.

[Aohanian]

Steve - great posting. I totally agree. You are so right- leaders today simply don’t know enough to simply provide answers. In my experience, the usual scenario is that someone comes with a problem, they have the answer, they just need help to develop it. You’re right too that it’s crucial to listen - I’ve got as far as counting to 7 which works for me. You’ll be surprised at how much people come up with when you give them a chance to. Finally, you absolutely have to support what people do – if you ask them to do something - do your best to help them succeed.

[Harris, Rothenberg International]

#4 is my favorite. It's so important to stop and really listen in order to be more effective. Managers can be excellent coaches if they do it the right way.

[John @ Machine Parts]

Nicely put. I appreciate the clarification on 'Listen'. Its like dating, just ask questions until you know the whole truth about the situation, then make an informed decision or suggestion.

[Benhailey85]

Nice and simple. I like the idea of starting with only a few people. If you have a large team the thought of coaching each and every one can be so daunting and discouraging. I've get tons of calls from associates asking for help and all too often I simply give them the answer instead of using the opportunity to build the individual. That is my challenge for the rest of the week! Thanks for the post!

Ben Hailey