Everyone wants to have influence; not everyone wants to build the relationships that enable it.
There's a natural flow to being influential.
Influence goes hand in hand with agreements. If you want to persuade someone to take a particular course of action, you need some agreements about what needs to be done and who will do it. That means taking time to reach an understanding about what is important to each of you. And that means building a working relationship.
There seems to be a predisposition to what we call "positional bargaining." Positional bargaining happens when one persons lays out a case and the other counters with an argument in favor of his or her own position. This sets up a "mine is bigger than yours" scenario which most often leads to conflict where:
- The side wielding the most power, wins
- The loser resents the loss
If you are "in it" for the long run, think about this:
Unless you're willing to meet with a parole officer regularly, you can't get what you want by beating up who you need.
It really is all about relationships.
Note: It's good to be back online after a two-month hiatus. My dear wife, Barb, suffers from very advanced Parkinson's Disease and is in long-term care (thankfully nearby, so we are able to be together every day). She has required some extra medical attention recently, thus the hiatus. For those already aware of the situation, thank you for your prayers and messages of encouragement.--Steve