Ten Life Lessons From Business

I'm in the process of completing a program design for a university where I'll be working with business students on bumping up their game when it comes to professionalism and organizational savvy. The activity prompted me to think back over years of managing, training, and consulting, and what kinds of life lessons were learned along the way. (Business is part of life, not the other way around). 

So, I thought I'd share the list that emerged after thinking over the past 30 years in business:

Ten Life Lessons From Managing and Consulting

1. You can be in charge, but you're never in control.

2. If you have a Powerpoint slide with a graph whose curve always points upward, you're lying. Delete it.

3. If you look at people through your own eyes, you'll judge them for who you think they are. If you look at them through God's eyes, you'll see them for who they can become.

4. You can't be good at who you are until you stop trying to be all the things you are not.

5. Charge what you are worth. If you don't, you'll begin to resent your employer or client, even thoughyou decided to take the assignment.

6. You can't control circumstances. You can control your response to them. Those who learn to respond thoughtfully and peacefully are the ones who are accorded trust and power.

7. Overt displays of position power show weakness.  Genuine humility shows power.

8. All groups aren't "teams". Often they are just collections of people who work really, really well together. Leave them alone.

9. No one can know how to be an effective leader until they've toiled as a dedicated follower.

10. Knowledge is not wisdom. Wisdom is knowledge applied with discernment.

What Are Your Business Life Lessons?

Do you have life lessons from business that you can add? Click on the comment box and use your experience to contribute to someone else's development.

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How Do You Define Success?

What Do These Quotes All Have in Common?

"I don't know the key to success but the key to failure is to try to please everyone." Bill Cosby

"A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and gets to bed at night, and in between he does what he wants to do." Bob Dylan

"Try not to become a man of success, but rather to become a man of value. He is considered successful in our day who gets more out of life than he puts in. But a man of value will give more than he receives." Albert Einstein

"The secret of success is constancy to purpose." Benjamin Disraeli

"Success is the progressive realization of predetermined, worthwhile, personal goals." Paul J. Meyer

I think the commonality is this:

1. Each person thought about what success meant to him.

2. None defined success in terms of others' expectations

Have You Taken Time to Define Success In Terms of Your Own Expectations?

If not, then maybe this is the day to start. If you don't, you are at risk.Think about it. Without a clear sense of what a successful life means to you, then everyone else can control your time, your choices, and your career. You have no firm basis on which to make decisions. And no way to tell yourself, "I'm doing fine!"

That means that others can tell you how they think you are doing and what they think you should be doing. Wouldn't it be nice to be clear about why they are so wrong?!

I believe you already know what success means to you. What's missing is the initial act of doing something consistent with what you know to be your true path.

Today is the day to take that first step. If you do, tomorrow may be your first day without regret.

 

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Start Your Weekend With a Smile

When we designated a "guest room" here at Maison Roesler, we were unaware that some of the locals might check it out for a future overnight:

 

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Speaking? Three Things Your Audience Wants

Audiences--whether 6 or 600--really want three things from you. These apply to meetings, wedding toasts, or keynote speeches:

1. Connection. They want to feel connected with you. They've already endured too many distant, aloof presentations in their lifetimes. Give them you, not a veiled voice in the corner reciting PowerPoint bullets. In fact, to be the "real deal" and "authentic", be even more of you. Wear your enthusiasm for your topic on your sleeve, look into the eyes of participants, and have a bold, honest conversation with them.

2. We all love a bit of entertainment. No one expects you--or even wants you--to be Jimmy Kimmel or Jay Leno. You can do a quick activity that energizes people and gets them thinking more about the topic. It also gives you a break and a chance to relax. Keep it light. Stay serious about your topic but not about yourself. A funny personal story, especially if the joke was on you, can will loosen people up and increase the connection. ("Wow, I thought only I ever had that happen to me.!) I watched my wife listen to a very well-known speaker/writer from Harvard. My wife has a dual Ph.D. She thought his presentation was so serious and ponderous that he came across as  self-important. He lost her, even though his information was accurate.

Note: Did you know that speakers who also sell product actually sell measurably more product when there is humor in their talk?

3. Create meaning. How does what you are saying fit into their business or organizational life?  Make the connection for them (don't assume they'll automatically do it themselves). Explain specifically how you or your idea will personally increase their satisfaction or reduce their pain. When you can you synthesize the meaning of your topic to that point, you've really got something worth saying.

Be bold, be convesational, connect and say it.

 

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Leading: Complete Trust or Catastrophe?

I recall a TV program that preceded the 1988 Winter Olympics. It featured blind skiers who were being trained for slalom skiing which, to me, sounded impossible. Matched with sighted skiers, the blind skiers were taught on the flats how to turn left and right.

Once that was mastered, they were taken to the slalom slope where their sighted partners skied beside them shouting "Right!" and "Left!" As they obeyed the commands, they were able to negotiate the course and cross the finish line, relying only on the sighted skiers' words. The choice? Complete trust or catastrophe. 

What a striking picture of leaders as coaches. Employees sign on with the hope that their leaders will "be there" when the going gets tough. What are employees really looking for? Someone who will come alongside with a "Right!" or "Left!" when the situation requires the physical presence of the person with a clear vision. 

Leaders, we have to "be there" to make a difference when those who rely on us don't have the ability or the direction to see what's in our minds. The outcome will yield trust and success, or catastrophe.

Where do you need to be today?

 

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15 Useful Phrases At Work

I'm not sure where these originated, but they were emailed to me by an ex-boss. I'm not sure what that means, either.

 For those 'special' moments in meetings and cube interactions, here are:

Useful Work Phrases Guaranteed To At Least Make You Feel Better

 

1. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

2. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

3. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

4. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

5. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't care.

6. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.

7. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?

8. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

9. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

10. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

11. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

12. How about never? Is never good for you?

13. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.

14. You sound reasonable. Time to up my medication.

15. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

Yeah. You really do want to try one out, eh? :-)

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Future Leaders: Do You Have These Three?

We say we want a mentor, a coach, a trusted advisor.

We want to grow and become more effective.

We ask for help. For "feedback."

This is what you need to make it a success:

The patience to listen, the humility to hear, and the courage to act.

Do you have all three?

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The Business of Forgiveness

This originally appeared here in July, 2008. Since the human condition hasn't changed since then, I thought it might prompt some much-needed and quiet reflection at a time of year that epitomizes the hopefulness of reconciliation.

Downsizing. Corruption. Bullying. Harassment. "Do more with less." Reduced benefits. Add to that list some of the people with whom you have to work every day.

There's a lot of opportunity for anger and hurt on the job.

Where you find anger, you find the need for forgiveness.

Why?

It's good for you. For your physical and mental health. For your relationships. For your ability to move on peacefully and productively.

Why forgiveness instead of revenge?

Christina M. Puchalski, M.D. is the Founder and Director of the George Washington Institute for Spirituality and Health and Assistant Professor of Medicine at the George Washington University School of Medicine. She says:

"On a personal level, forgiveness of self can help us achieve an inner peace as well as peace with others and with God. Wrongdoing against others and ourselves can result in guilt and resentment.  This can then lead to self-recrimination and self-loathing; it also can create a distance or disconnect from self and others. Resentment can give away to hate and intolerance. Forgiveness is the first stage of self-love and acceptance. It is also the basic building block of loving relationships with others."

It's not the offense. It's your response to it.

I confess, I'm not always a quick-to-forgive person once I've felt "wronged". I give people a very long leash and a long time to "get their act together" if things aren't going well. But there is some point at which I just say "that's it" and cut them off from my life. It is very infrequent, but the pattern is always the same. I decide that the differences are irreconcilable. So, the relationship in its present form is finished.

Does that serve me well?

Only if I genuinely forgive. It is both possible and imperative to do that and, at the same time, acknowledge that the nature of the relationship may not be productive. This is the harder part, I think. It begs the nagging question, "If I can forgive, why can't I just continue?"

Sometimes it's possible. More often, it becomes apparent that I wasn't seeing clearly to begin with and that continuing the relationship--without changing expectations--would not be peaceful or productive for either of us.

Dr. Frederic Luskin specializes in Learning to Forgive. He explains that:

"The practice of forgiveness has been shown to reduce anger, hurt depression and stress and leads to greater feelings of hope, peace, compassion and self confidence. Practicing forgiveness leads to healthy relationships as well as physical health."

Dr. Luskin's 9 Steps to Forgiveness

1. Know exactly how you feel about what happened and be able to articulate what about the situation is not OK. Then, tell a trusted couple of people about your experience.

2. Make a commitment to yourself to do what you have to do to feel better. Forgiveness is for you and not for anyone else.

3. Forgiveness does not necessarily mean reconciliation with the person that hurt you, or condoning their action. What you are after is to find peace. Forgiveness can be defined as the "peace and understanding that come from blaming that which has hurt you less, taking the life experience less personally, and changing your grievance story."

4. Get the right perspective on what is happening. Recognize that your primary distress is coming from the hurt feelings, thoughts and physical upset you are suffering now, not what offended you or hurt you two minutes--or ten years ago. Forgiveness helps to heal those hurt feelings.

5. At the moment you feel upset practice a simple stress management technique to soothe your body's fight or flight response.

6. Give up expecting things from other people, or your life, that they do not choose to give you. Recognize that "unenforceable rules" you have for your health or how you or other people must behave. Remind yourself that you can hope for health, love, peace and prosperity and work hard to get them.

7. Put your energy into looking for another way to get your positive goals met than through the experience that has hurt you. Instead of mentally replaying your hurt seek out new ways to get what you want.

8. Remember that a life well lived is your best revenge. Instead of focusing on your wounded feelings, and thereby giving the person who caused you pain power over you, learn to look for the love, beauty and kindness around you.

9. Amend your grievance story to remind you of the heroic choice to forgive.

If you would like to explore other resources, check out The Forgiveness Web  and Forgiveness Net.

Think about this today: Your workplace is a web of relationships. Being at peace with them can only make your own life a lot more satisfying.

photo attribution: www.thirdway.com 

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Holidays At Work: Reduce Stress, Increase Joy

If you are experiencing stress at the very time you are expecting joy, you aren't alone.

The National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health reports that:

• 40% of workers report their job is "very or extremely stressful".

• 26% of workers report they are "often or very often burned out or stressed" by their work.

• 29% of workers report they feel "quite a bit or extremely stressed at work".

Stress Levels Rise During the Holidays

Why do stress levels rise?

The statistics show that 40% are already stressed out before the holidays arrive. In a poll of 600 full-time employees, Accenture’s HR Services found that 66% of the respondents reported additional stress at work during the holidays.

Let's face it. During the holidays you're faced with gift-buying in the midst of an already-stretched financial life; trying to shop while meeting job deadlines and other responsibilities; and thinking about the family dynamics that get played out each year.

I think there's one more big reason as well:

Unrealistic Expectations

For some reason, year after year, we cling to the hope of a perfect holiday, a perfectly loving family, and the perfect balance of work and life during the season. We're surrounded by images of happy families, ads that tell us how much we should be giving, and that joy will reign.

Yet the reality is that work and its deadlines remain (and are often shortened due to the holiday schedule); families continue to be families with all of their inherent challenges; our bank accounts don't allow us to give our spouses new cars or diamonds; and the gap between what we're told to expect and what is actually happening drains the joy from our hearts.

What Can You Do?

Individually:

1. Know that your family and friends don't care if everything is perfect. What they want is a relaxed atmosphere, according to the Harvard Medical School.

2. Money --and therefore, gifts--don't buy happiness. Yeah, I know you've heard that before.  Different studies suggest that, although poverty and low pay can cause unhappiness, once a certain level of compensation is reached, there is not a “significant relationship between how much money a person earns and whether he or she feels good about life” (Easterbrook 2005).

3. Supportive family and friends, on the other hand, appear to be crucial. This comes from Drs. Martin Seligman of the University of Pennsylvania and his colleague Martin Diener at the University of Illinois. Both are heavily involved in the study of happiness.. When Seligman and Diener studied a group of students, they found that the happier ones tended to socialize more. “It is important to work on. . .close interpersonal ties and social support in order to be happy,” says Diener. It's all about relationships.

Organizationally:

1. Provide employees with a more flexible schedule to accommodate added demands outside the office. The Accenture study found that 54% of the surveyed workers said that flexible hours during the holidays would help reduce workplace stress. Twenty-six percent said they would like to telecommute once in a while until the seasonal rush is finished.

2. How about a shopping day? Some employers provide one day between Thanksgiving and Christmas to give people a chance to do just that. And they say it reduces angst and is appreciated by the employees.

3. Provide an online shopping catalog and allow online shopping. Plenty of companies offer hard-copy versions produced by firms who specialize in such programs. Why not do it online and save people time?

A Final Thought

Dr. Seligman, arguably the premier researcher and proponent of the psychology of happiness, says that happiness has three essential components:

First: the ability to savor life’s pleasures.

Second: there’s a true engagement with one’s work, avocations, and loved ones.

Third: the sense that one is serving a larger purpose beyond one’s self (“Reflective,” 2005; Wallis 2005).

I think it's the third that we need to attend to.

Whenever we focus on something greater than ourselves--especially the well-being of others--our sense of satisfaction and peace grows exponentially.

So give yourself this year. Your stress and anxiety will begin to melt away. And for once, the people around you will actually get what they want.

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The Mark of Leadership

Chesty Puller, considered by many to be "Mr. Marine Corps," said once that the corps needed men who could lead, not command. Commanders tell people what to do; a leader shows people what to do by personal example.

Who would have thought that Mr. Marine was all about servant leadership?

One of the hardest parts of sitting in the proverbial "corner office" is remembering that leading requires action. Without action, no one has an example of how to "be" in the organization.

We all like to be acknowledged and fawned over--especially when we've reached a perceived pinnacle of career success. Truth be told, few of us like to roll up our sleeves and wait on others. Yet this is exactly how people are drawn into the service of our vision. Few things are as magnetic as seeing an individual help someone else. 

When was the last time you quietly helped a hassled co-worker or direct report put the finishing touches on a project? Or maybe something as simple as pouring coffee for the participants gathered around a meeting table?

Here's an example of The Mark of Leadership that I can't get out of my mind:

During an executive gathering in a mahogany filled suite on the top floor of a corporate building in Philadelphia a few years ago, a glance out the window revealed that a blizzard was sweeping in. The CEO--coincidentally a former naval commander--noticed as well. This man had been brought in to make some difficult, long-term changes and had done so quite successfully. But what he was about to do is why I remember him.

There was too much food for the participants in the meeting. Everyone invited couldn't get there. At the end of the brief luncheon meeting he said: "There are people within 3 blocks of here who are homeless and probably huddled under the walkways. Let's gather up these sandwiches and chips, find those people and feed them."

Really.

The Mark of Leadership.

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The Paradox of Choices

The rallying cry of product managers and politicians is "Choices! We offer choices!"

My observation? 

We really don’t like having too many choices. It makes us a little nervous. Every option leads to a chance to foul something up. Heck, a lot of people are more worried about not being wrong than about being right. So, we allow our experiences and habits to narrow our options to just a couple of familiar ones. It reduces the anxiety and relieves stress.

So, how do you make genuine changes faced with the siren song of habits?

The first move is to re-capture your sense of conscious choice in place of habitual reactions.  This leads to new options and frees you up from repeating the mistakes that have risen from repetition.

Be aware: it's not a single event, but a way of life.

More Good Options Than You Think!

You can choose how to respond, regardless of the situation and circumstances. Here are some possibilities that can change your world today. None of the options is confusing and you have permission to pick just one to get started:

• Don’t take yourself too seriously. Try something new and different, and don't worry about getting it wrong. People who never made a mistake never made anything else.

• Caught up in your emotions? Over-enthusiasm, revenge, or frustration will each whisper lousy advice in your ear. Wait until they stop talking, chill out, and re-visit the decision.

• Listen longer before you respond to someone, at work or at home. The other person will feel more respected and you're just liable to see something from their viewpoint--in which case, you may end up in agreement. At the least, you'll learn something new.

• Eschew snap judgments. It's easy to take a stand; the workplace smiles upon "strong"people. But when it comes to who is right and who is wrong, a knee-jerk reaction can wreck relationships. Besides, do you like it when someone makes a judgment about you?

• Stop the self-talk about what you can’t do. Once you start doing that, you'll make it come true. Give your idea a try and see what happens. If it doesn't work, so what? Really. So what? If it does work, think about how you'll feel.

Now there's only one option: Will you choose to try doing something differently?"

_________________________________________

If this is something important to you, you'll also want to read:

Fear of Success and Lasting Change: Part 1

Fear of Success and Lasting Change: Part 2

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What Can't You Not Share?

I was thinking about a Mercedes Benz TV commercial that shows their car smashing into a concrete wall as part of a safety test. Then, someone asks their spokesman why they don't enforce the patent on the Mercedes Benz energy-absorbing car body. The design is evidently copied by other companies because of its success.

The matter-of-fact reply: "Because some things in life are too important not to share."

What do you have that's just too important not to share?

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You Feel How? Why?

 
How do you feel about your life: Bitter or Better?

Your answer will color everything about your existence. At home, at work, with friends.

Stephen Shapiro, author of  Goal Free Living, described a common life situation a while back in a post called The One-Third Life Crisis. It's about a successful (by any achievement-oriented social standards) guy who is a 33 year-old Harvard grad, pilot, board member, etc. But at 33 he described his life this way to Stephen:

Do well at Step A and you can proceed to Step B. Do well at B, and proceed to C. As I look back at my life so far, I realize that I was playing by a very narrow set of rules. And if I played by those rules, worked hard, and caught a lucky break or two, I’d be rewarded with plenty of wealth and prestige.

And that worked okay…for a while…until I began to have nagging doubts. “The Path” began to feel just a bit too narrow. I felt that I was always trying to do well in life in order to move to the next step. As a result, I had completely lost the ability to live in the moment or to appreciate success for success’ sake. And failure? Well, that wasn’t even an option. Most insidiously, I began looking at the people in my life only as potential allies (or, gasp, even pawns) in my quest to keep plugging along down The Path.

And here’s the worst part. I had completely lost my sense of risk, creativity, and wonder. So I felt that even if I wanted to get off The Path, I was woefully and utterly ill-equipped to navigate on my own. That’s the essence of the one-third life crisis.

What Are You Experiencing at 30? Or 40 or 50 or 60?

This isn't at all unusual. In fact, I became so fascinated by it that about 10 years ago I started looking into research that might produce a plausible, helpful explanation. This was prompted by what I noticed were increasing requests from successful 30-somethings within my client organizations who were expressing dissatisfaction with their circumstances. The stories were similar:

1. I'm not happy

2. I should be happy because I have a good job, make good money, home life is good; I've done everything I was supposed to do.

3. So why I am I feeling unhappy and stressed out?

Until About 30, You Don't Have to be You

Why?

Because you've got enough energy to do just about anything. And people let you.

Physiologically, you're on a roll. Psychologically, you're starting a career and a life. And guess what? Everyone around you will let you do your thing. Your family understands this. They allow you to "get your career started." Your boss loves this. And you are able to put in 60 or 80 hours a week at being really good at what you do. And you are probably doing pretty well. Heck, why not? Your sheer energy and time is compensating for a lack of genuine passion or talent. So if "it" isn't what you were meant to do--or consistent with who you are--you can't fake it forever (you don't know you're faking it. You are doing what you think people are supposed to do). At +/- 30 your energy begins to drop a bit. And you start asking questions about it. And you should.

Because growing up means being--and accepting--who you are. It's the only way you'll stay in the game and be happy about it. I've found that the most difficult--but most rewarding--thing that I've done personally is to answer this question:

"What are all of the things I think I am--but am not?" These resulted in a looonnngggg list of answers that combined bloated self-perception with lots of expectations from other people. Do it. It's a huge relief to get rid of the baggage.

Then change the question from "What could I do as a career?" to these three:

1. "What do I really value and see as priorities in my life?"

2. "What are my natural talents and how can I use them to support #1?

3. "What specific skills do I have--or need to get--that help support #2?"

If you get honest about 1, acknowledge 2 as not being boastful--but a gift--and use 3 in the service of the first two, you'll be back in the game.

And just in case math is your strong suit: draw a Venn diagram of Values, Talents, and Skills. The place where the three intersect is the actual "you." (You're welcome).

55: Bitter or Better?

A final observation.

Somewhere around the age of 55 people--and I see it mostly in men--decide to be either "Bitter" or "Better" about life. It's a choice. But it appears to be a choice based upon evaluating one's circumstances against one's expectations of how life should be (or should have been).

The distinction usually lies in a choice that was made to:

Live as one's self, and therefore feel better. There is only one standard and it will always be met.

Live according to others' expectations and one's definition of how things "should" be. This leads to a bitter outcome.

So what about our searching friend in the beginning of the post? It sounds as if he is choosing to ask the right questions at the right time. And he even has a group of trusted advisors to guide him and keep him accountable.

I'm guessing "better."

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Disengage to Engage: The Hummingbird Principle

In business, we're all about action and movement. 

I got up this morning and, for the first time in recent memory, was totally overwhelmed by what was on the calendar/to-do list. My first instinct was to shout "54-40 or Fight" or maybe"Tippecanoe and Tyler, Too" and attack with a vengeance. But there was just no energy to do anything on the task list.

So, I did what most of us would consider a weenie cop-out: nothing. Zero.

Sat on the back deck, sipped coffee, thought about. . .nothing. From 6 am until noon. Instead, I watched. . .

. . .this collage of Creation taking place in the midst of our busyness.

All of this unfolded across my backyard, bit by bit, while I was doing nothing. The most effort exerted by me was "focus and click". 

I was most smitten by the hummingbird (see orange arrow, lower left). In order to get him to the feeder, we simply need to add  sugar to water to engage him. Plenty of water but no sugar: no hummingbird. A little sweetness goes a long way, even in the animal kingdom. He also fascinated me by the way his little wings buzzed at hyper-speed while his body remained completely still, all the time suspended in air.

Which leads me to wonder: Do we have to be seen as "in motion" at every moment in order to be considered alive, well and productive?

Oh, yeah. The deer did eat our flowers. Today, I didn't care.

 

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Who Packs Your Parachute?

Charles Plumb was a Navy pilot. On his seventy-fifth combat mission, he was shot down and parachuted into enemy territory. Plum was captured and spent six years in prison. He survived and now lectures on the lessons he learned from his experiences.

One day Plumb and his wife were in a restaurant and approached by a man who asked, "Are you Plumb the navy pilot?"

"Yes, how did you know?" asked Plumb.

"I packed your parachute," the man replied.

Plumb was amazed - and grateful: "If the chute you packed hadn't worked I wouldn't be here today..."

Plumb refers to this in his lectures: he realized that the anonymous sailors who packed the parachutes held the pilots' lives in their hands, and yet the pilots never gave these sailors a second thought; never even said 'hello', let alone said 'thanks'.

Now Plumb asks his audiences, "Who packs your parachutes?..... Who helps you through your life?.... Physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually? . . .

Who packs your parachute?  At work and at home, thank them today.

Photo attribution: http://tinyurl.com/kk5mh9

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Character and Persistence Trump Adversity

"Comfort and prosperity have never enriched the world as much as adversity has"
--Billy Graham

Consider these:

• Sir Walter Raleigh, after getting in deep doo-doo with the queen, spent 13 years in prison. How did he spend his time? He wrote The History of the World.

• Beethoven composed his greatest music after he went deaf.

• The poet Dante worked--and died--in exile.

• Daniel DeFoe wrote Robinson Crusoe while in prison.

• Pilgrim's Progress was penned by John Bunyan during his imprisonment in Bedford Jail.

• He was too poor to buy paper so he used scraps of leather. That's how MIguel de Cervantes managed to produce Don Quixote while jailed in Madrid.

At times, we all feel as if we're being sentenced to something. So, we have a choice: Do we lament what is happening in our life or do we live the life we've been given?

The nature of our character and our legacy is built on that decision.

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Real Freedom in the Free Agent Workplace

 Coaches, Consultants, Writers, Speakers, Trainers. . .each of you has, as part of your dream, the desire to be “free” from certain constraints.

But you may be boxing yourself in more than you realize.

When you set out on your own, adding value is linked directly to your personal talent, skills, and  knowledge. It’s easy--and somewhat satisfying-- to revel in the fact that you are the brand

Think long and hard about these three questions:

    * Do you want to be the only on-site resource for customers?
    * Do you ever want to generate passive income?
    * Do you want to grow your business?

Some people like being “Da Man" (or “Da Woman”). They get a buzz from being  in demand. That’s OK if the related  limitations of such self-branding are acceptable.

But what if you see a different future? Maybe you’re interested in a way out of the every day stand-up grind that produces revenue and doesn’t involve “closing” the biz.

Most consultants/coaches, for example  would say that their only asset is their brain and the ideas generated. Well, what can you do to turn that into a self-sustaining business?

Start Thinking Product Instead of Services

Many creative professionals sell their services. Let’s be totally hones here  Solopreneurs usually put all the focus on themselves and sell only the services they create and can handle. Big mistake. It stunts your business growth because it looks as if no one else can do what you do the way that you do it.

The solution: move the focus away from you and start treating your service (results) as a product. When you contract, contract for a specific result. That way, your clients are focused on something tangible and so are you. You build a reputation for delivering value in a specific way.

It’s easy to get caught up in the importance of our creativity and uniqueness. Once you get over that and start treating the result as your product, you start building a business that very well may lead to a tangible information prodcut. Why? Because you are focusing on outcomes and how to get there--the “how to” that people long for.

Freedom comes from building replicable systems and products that allow people to have the benefit of you--and your thinking-- without you actually being there.

Do it now. Begin to shift the focus from “you” to your “product”. I guarantee you it will be a freeing experience.

Thought for Today: You may love being "out there" all the time and providing face-to-face service. That's great. Keep in mind that on the spectrum of life, you are more "self-employed" than "in business."

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Leader Development at Mountain State

"The real key to leadership is for leaders to know when to lead and when to follow."

--Dr. Charles Polk, President, Mountain State University

Last week's Are You Really Developing Leaders? highlights the critical ingredient of action and doing in leadership development as stated clearly by current, high-performing managers.

That grabbed the attention of Becky Robinson who writes Mountain State University's Leader Talk, the official blog of their School of Leadership and Professional Development. We began discussing real leader development and the University's quest to continually link the classroom with real life. Two things made me want to go further with this:

1. Becky's enthusiasm and investment in the success of the program.

2. My commitment to working with universities and their students to help build faculty and student leadership and prepare students for organizational life.

A Glimpse into Real-Life Leadership Education

Becky shares this:

 As president of a statewide professional organization and a business owner, Robin Holstein was a leader long before she entered the Coonskin Armory in Charleston, WV to begin her Bachelor of Science in Organizational Leadership from Mountain State University. With more than twenty years of work and life experience between her high school graduation and her first day of class, Robin knew that completing her degree would be challenging. Still, the intensity of the eighteen month program surprised her.

 

Robin joined a blended cohort of Air Guardsmen, and graduated as the only woman and only civilian. This cohort has been important resource to her. After completing assignments and reading outside the classroom, the cohort met to discuss a designated topic, guided by a faculty member/facilitator. Each week, their discussion sparked a dynamic interchange between the course material and real life. On topics ranging from leadership principles to human resources, the group used personal examples to relate their opinions and ideas.

 

One benefit of the cohort experience, Robin shared, is that it mirrors a real life boardroom experience.  She had to learn to work with a diverse group of people, to relate to their ideas and opinions. Emotions flared when people polarized on topics at times. At each classroom  she practiced negotiation and persuasion and learned to communicate well.

 

When the organization she led faced declining membership and scarce budgetary resources, Robin turned to her cohort for encouragement. She had a plan, but wanted support. She initiated a merger with an organization from a nearby state. As a result, the members of her organization have new opportunities for networking and training.

  

Robin's experience is a great example of what is happening in Mountain State's leadership programs. At each of our campuses and online, students in cohort groups join together to learn leadership skills in an interactive way that prepares them to make a difference in their organizations.

 

Since I started writing LeaderTalk, I've been captured by the vision of our faculty, the enthusiasm of our students, and the potential of the future.

 

Mountain State has been teaching leadership for several years, under the School of Business and Technology. About three years ago, Bill White, the founding Dean of the School of Leadership and Professional Development, realized his goal to establish a separate school to focus on leadership development and leadership studies. The school has seen incredible growth, and he is forging ahead toward other goals:

• to see leadership recognized as a discrete academic discipline
• to create a premier center for leadership learning
• to establish consistent outcomes for leadership learning across the country.

 

We are excited about the development of our new doctoral program. In October, the first set of students will begin this three year program. Though the first set of students will study in seat at our main campus in Beckley, West Virginia, a second group will begin the program in February 2010 in a hybrid program that will include a combination of in seat study and four days per year of study in residence. Both groups will be working toward a Doctor of Executive Leadership degree.

 

The doctorate joins our Master of Science in Strategic Leadership and our Bachelor of Science in Organizational Leadership offerings. All three degrees are designed around a three fold purpose. We are developing stewards of the discipline of leadership who will

• conserve leadership knowledge
• generate new knowledge about leadership
• and transfer leadership knowledge to others.

 

All three degrees are intensely practical and are built around a cohort format that encourages students to immediately apply their learning to real life situations.
_______________________________________

Steve's note: In my own telephone discussion with Dr. Polk, he said something that cuts through the long running pop-psych, re-hashed "leadership" advice and offered this:

"To understand leadership you have to take time to observe your own behavior in different situations. There's no understanding 'others' until you get an accurate picture of how your own behavior impacts theirs. That's what we want to be sure happens in our programs."

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Looking for Hope? Stop Putting Things Off

Hope - "a confident feeling about what will happen in the future."

If you aren't feeling confident about some aspect of your work life, career, or business, chances are it's because you aren't acting to make it hopeful. You can't control what's on the news or in the news, but you can control what's in your news.

Hope and Action

Psychologically, Charles Richard  Snyder characterized hope as the will and the way to achieve your goals. More specifically, he defines  hope "as the perceived capability to derive pathways to desired goals, and motivate oneself via agency thinking to use those pathways" .

What does that really say?

• The first part involves feeling capable to create a reasonable plan of action (the "way")

• The second highlights the motivation to follow the plan (the "will").

Using this line of thought, hope is the opposite of procrastination.

Take action. Even if it isn't perfect, you don't have to get it right you just have to get it going.

Credit where credit is due: I had recalled an article I read some time ago that prompted this particular post. After Googling around, I found it. For the complete research study and the article partly paraphrased here, visit the excellent original by Timothy A. Pychyl, Ph.D. (with that name, his career was predestined!) at Psychology Today. 

________________________________________________

Something special tomorrow. I'm going to be doing a phone interview with Dr. Charles Polk, President of Mountain State University in the morning. Their action-oriented leadership program grabbed my attention because it's really how people "learn leadership." So, the post will give you a glimpse into what is happening with leadership education in two ways:

Becky Robinson of Mountain State has done a guest post for me that is to-the-point and explains their approach. I'll add some of the interview with Dr. Polk and, "Voila!"--some excitement about leadership education and its possibilities.

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5 Tips to Ethical & Successful Influence

I was just asked how I built our speaking/consulting/coaching practice over the years (we incorporated and began it part-time in 1977).

Here is the answer:

I didn't know what I was doing. So I just did whatever I knew.

Looking back, the answer is clear:

a. I wanted to use my expertise to help people.

b. I had to do 'a' for money.

c. In order to do 'a' and 'b', people had to know me, trust me, and believe me/experience the results.

It would be easy to wax poetic about a structured business plan (didn't have one), raising capital (got a $5,000 loan on a handshake with the president of the local bank), or the drop-dead marketing plan (I just wanted to do what I wanted to do).

There are only five things that have been consistent and that I find haven't--and shouldn't--be changed.

1. First impressions are made within about four seconds but  can last a lifetime. Create first class relationships, presentation materials, and now a top-notch online identity. Only hire primo individuals as employees or contractors; they are who your clients will use to judge your business.

2. Stand for something unique. Differentiate in a way that resonates with your community without being whacko-trendy. (Unless, of course, your product or service is "whacko-trendy").

3. Network and do business through referrals. Your introduction to an opportunity changes how you are perceived and treated. Too many coaches, consultants, and training people cold call the world instead of networking with targeted groups of individuals who can be both informative and valuable connectors.

4. Let clients experience your performance. If they take your services for a test drive they will likely want more of you down the road.

5. Don't sell your services; build friendships. People do business with those who they consider their friends. Most people attribute positive attributes to all aspects of a person's abilities if they first approve of that person's character and personality. Pay attention to the depth of your character; your personality will reflect it.

Whether you are starting a retail business, a consulting practice, or interviewing for your first job, invest yourself in these five activities. No matter what is happening around you continue to hold fast to them. They have proven faithful for 32 years as long as I remain faithful to them.

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Recommended Reading: "Rules of Thumb"

The subtitle lives up to its words: "52 Truths For Winning At Business Without Losing Your Self".

You don't see many book reviews here even though we receive many promotional copies. I do look hard at each one but, given my own business and personal priorities, I only write a review when it's a raving recommendation, like: Rules of Thumb: 52 Truths for Winning at Business Without Losing Your Self  

First, author Alan M. Webber's credentials are solid and you are probably familiar with some of his work already.

How so?

Webber is the co-founding editor of Fast Company magazine as well as former editorial director and managing editor of the Harvard Business Review. As such, he is able to deftly combine the best of storytelling with the best of business lessons learned by actually "doing business."

You say, "No, I'm not into one more business success book. Leave me alone!"

I'm glad you said that, because you are a candidate for one of my favorite rules of the 52: "Learn to Take 'No' as a Question."

If your real question is, "Why should I spend my time with this book?" my real answer is "Because it's an investment, not an expense." Really.

Want to know what's important? "Simplicity is the New Currency."

Wondering how to be a real player? Then you'll earn back your small investment with "If You Want to Change The Game, Change The Economics of How the Game Is Played."

Each of the 52 rules could be a book in itself. Webber has chosen to offer up a real-life story, real-life examples, and then a "So What?" for each one. You'll know what to do with the information because he's a practical guy who doesn't make you guess.

If you are a speaker, trainer, consultant, coach or executive. . .

Rules of Thumb: 52 Truths for Winning at Business Without Losing Your Self will spark your thinking for the next speech, presentation, or meeting. Leadership, Communication, Technology, and Customer Service-- they are all here in ways that reflect the new economy and new ways of doing business.

For those of you savvy enough to grab Pam Slim's  Escape from Cubicle Nation: From Corporate Prisoner to Thriving Entrepreneur, your move will receive an extra boost from following  Rules of Thumb: 52 Truths for Winning at Business Without Losing Your Self.

Kudos to both for sharing easy-to-read-and-use nuggets for the success-oriented in all walks of life.

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Fear of Success and Lasting Change: Part 2

When you think about the common factor in every roadblock in your life, here's what you discover: you were there when it took place.

My experience has been that people do realize this and are then faced with a choice:

a. to stay mired in self-defeating "See, I'm not really any good" thinking; or,

b. to commit the same act of forgiveness for themselves that they give to others. 

"Forgiveness" isn't a term you hear very often in business articles. But business is conducted by people--people like you and me who are very human and who are subject to the immutable laws of nature regardless of title or position.

Closure Is Really An Opening

When you consciously forgive yourself it leads to a sense of completion. This lets you move ahead and not feel compelled to repeat self-defeating acts over and over again.

But you need to understand why you held onto these for so long. There are (often insidious) payoffs for snatching defeat from the jaws of victory and failing to change.

Here are some some foundational questions that can help you understand what you are really holding on to:

• What am I afraid of losing if I succeed?

• Who do I think I'm punishing by doing this?

• What emotion am I not willing to release? (For many it's anger).

• What guarantee am I holding out for?

• By doing/not doing this, what do I get to avoid?

• How does this make me seem better or less than ____________(name of person)?

•Am I using self-pity to manipulate someone or some situation?

The big question: What do I hope to get out of pretending to be powerless to change?

Once you do the work you already know you need to do: pinpoint your fears and understand why you he hold onto them--you can commit the act of forgiving yourself and move ahead.

Bonus: A big part of your situation is that you are trying to "go it alone." Sit down with a trusted friend or associate and tell them what's going on. The like-minded experiences they share will not only amaze you; you'll discover that you are a member of a very large club.

Membership has its rewards.

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Fear of Success and Lasting Change: Part 1

Apparently fear of failure takes a back seat to fear of success in the search engines. After two years, I'm still getting regular traffic to an article I wrote in July, 2007 titled Fear of Success vs. Fear of Failure. When I say 'regular' traffic I mean every day. Really.

Getting what you really want in  your career and your life requires lasting change and a sustained vision of the future. This picture serves not just as an ongoing source of motivation to get there, it helps you identify and move through the obstacles that have held you back up to this point.

We Get The Failure Thing...But Fear of Success?

However, that vision quickly conjures up obstacles that include fear of failure and doubts about your own worthiness for success. If you're like most people, that also involves fear of actually achieving the very things you want.

Fear of success is a very unique issue that arises when you are genuinely creating change and moving forward in your life. The reason 'fear of success' is real is because the future is real and what we imagine for our future has an enormous influence on us.

The Problem?

We're pretty clueless how to deal with fear of success because it's in the future and, heck, how do we concretely live and deal in the future? If you think about your business you can see just how steeped western culture is in fixing the past. (How much time does your team spend fixing things instead of creating opportunity?) It's almost as if we drive through life focused on the rear-view mirror.

Creating and sustaining success involves some very personal "work." Fact is, the more you leave the task undone, the more your fears will control you. And the longer you put off taking small actions now, the bigger the dilemma becomes.

What Gets In The Way?

One of the real fears about making a personal change is that success will lead to loneliness. We know what our lives are like now and we have a sense that how we live has brought us friendships and love. In their most honest moments, many people have admitted that they fear success because they are afraid that being bold enough to create the life they want will make them different and, therefore,  unlovable.

Some fears are very real. When you change, the relationships around you will be forced to change. Some friends will encourage and applaud you while others are so grounded in jealousy they'll find ways to belittle you for moving forward. (You'll find out who your friends really are).

Here's what more than one of my psychologist friends has shared: "The deepest fear is that when we step up and succeed, we have to face the fact that we've always had the power to change and we could have changed a year or five years ago." Change comes from choices and we have always had that ability to choose.

But that's not all...

Whether you are reading this at work or on the beach, there are changes you want to make. So we won't leave you hanging with the problem. Stop back tomorrow for Part II when we look at the specific questions you can ask yourself to get the kind of forward motion you want in your career and your life.

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Perseverance, Outrage, Drama Queens, and Success

Have you noticed the consistent use of the word "outrage" in the media?

It seems that, regardless of the gravity of the situation, someone feels compelled to use the word "outrage", even when their body language and tone of voice are matter-of-fact. Perhaps it has been discovered that "outrage" is a media-friendly word that can elevate one to victim status; and victim status will then lead to some sort of reward by a convoluted notion of automatic victim entitlement.

The facts of life show otherwise.

Perseverance and Success

Back in the days of the great western cattle ranches, a little burro would be harnessed to a wild horse. Bucking and raging, the two would be set loose onto the desert. You could see them disappear over the horizon, that strong steed dragging the little burro along and tossing him around like blended carrots in a Veg-O-Matic commercial. Even though they would be gone for days, eventually they would return. Amazingly, that little burro would be seen first, trotting across the horizon with the now-submissive horse in tow. Somewhere out there the strong, wild horse became exhausted from trying to get rid of the burro. In that moment, the burro took mastery and became the leader.

Our struggles in life and in business life go to the determined, not to the outraged; to the committed, not to those who are merely dramatic.

Let's find a way to live this out in our own lives today.

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"Workplace" #16 In RiseSmart Career 100

I'm a fairly simple guy who works with individuals and companies to bump up their game. 

Imagine my surprise and the attendant "Aw, Shucks" blush when the folks at RiseSmart listed All Things Workplace as #16 on their Career 100 list.

Thanks, RiseSmart!

BTW: if you like statistics, have a look at the ranking system. This is why my college counselor "strongly" suggested that continuing as an Accounting major might not be the best use of my family's savings.

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Innovation Reigns in the Concert Hall Workplace

Stop! Even if you aren't a musician I know you have a soft spot for real innovation.

My good friend, Eric the Swede and his concert cohorts from the Philadelphia Orchestra are dazzling the eardrums of European classical music aficionados as I write.

But not without innovating along the way.

I received the following smug humble email from His LowBrassness:

"Steve: So here is the conundrum Blair and I faced:

A low C# with Harmon mute for me.
A low D with Harmon mute for him.
Both of us were required to go from covered to open and back.
Normally one covers the mute with one's left hand, but both of our notes required us to operate the valves with our left hands.
My note is way out in 6th position. (Ed. Note: that is about 300 yards from one's shoulder).

The parts for this piece came to us from another major orchestra, and had penciled notes from the trombonists there claiming that these notes were not possible with Harmon mute.  I can't believe they didn't see the obvious solution:"

(L): Sartorial Swede Eric Carlson wearing the light gray socks and rubber-soled shoes with formal attire, but innovatively nailing the heretofore "unplayable" notes.
(R): Brassy Blair Bollinger, clearly appalled at his partner's choice of pedi-wear but feeling good about their contribution to Brassdom.

Second editor's note: As a proud (and now even prouder) native Philadelphian, I must point out that the penciled-in "this can't be done" notations came from an orchestra headquartered on Michigan Avenue in a windy Midwestern city. This has all the makings of a white-tie-and-tails Reality TV Wagnerian smackdown.

Producers may contact me here at All Things Workplace to arrange a booking...

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Optimism: A Much Different Take

How Important Is Optimism?  generated an entirely different thought from a reader who contributed the following via email:

"Optimism can certainly be useful and definitely has its place, but, in the sense that it's being presented here, I feel 'optimism' is really a euphemism for 'coping mechanism,' and thus 'survival.'  People all have their way of coping and dealing with life. Some are perceived as pessimists (I personally feel that many realists are mislabeled as pessimists), who might be 'worst case scenario' thinkers, only to be pleasantly surprised when things turn out better. Then there are those who adhere to the "I think, therefore I am" school of thought - think positively, and it will happen. Neither mindset is better or worse than the other. But both are ways of coping and, essentially ways of 'getting by' in life.
 
And I definitely beg to differ with the statistic that 75% of Americans consider themselves to be optimists. I think that right there represents a good portion of the population who is just poor at accurate self-assessment.  There is a difference between wanting something to get better -- which a pessimist is equally capable of doing, vs. thinking or believing that it actually will. This is the distinction people are failing to recognize, and were they able to make this separation, I think that 75% would be much lower."

It's true that if one's self-assessment were inaccurate the figure would probably be different. However, that doesn't change the fact that 75% consider themselves to be optimists (no matter how misinformed they might be!).

What I like most about this thoughtful reply is the writer's differentiation when it comes to "wanting" vs. "believing."

Who would have thought that optimism would lead to a spirited, analytical conversation?

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How Important is Optimism?

I've been immersed in holidays and projects, and one project caught my eye and ear.

My long-time friend and colleague, Bud Bilanich, has a wonderfully practical book out titled, Straight Talk for Success. I say "ear" because I'm doing the voice over for the audio book version and it gives me a chance to experience the content in more than one way.

 Given the economic situation facing us, Bud's chapter on "Optimism"--written a while back--is a useful one.

Bud notes that optimism not only propels us toward our goals but allows people to experience hopefulness. In a crisis, optimists see problems as temporary. They don't blame themselves and they don't feel doomed.  He also offers some factoids related to optimism:

• 75% of Americans consider themselves to be optimists.

• 99% of workers prefer a positive job environment. (No surprise there!).

• 90% of people say they are more productive around positive people.

The one profession where pessimists do better than optimists is law. Bud wonders if that may not explain all those lawyer jokes.

Learned Helplessness

Martin Seligmam of the University of Pennsylvania says, "People who don't think they can make positive changes develop a condition called "'learned helplessness." Taken to extremes, it can lead to despair and depression. According to Bud, optimists generally do not fall into the trap of learned helplessness.

What Can You Do?

• Focus on what you can do and control.

• Understand and tap into your inherent strengths.

• Mentally rehearse how you will handle problems.

• Accentuate the positive.

• Focus on possibilities instead of limitations.

Some good suggestions from The Common Sense Guy.

What do you do to stay optimistic when it seems as if gloom is the theme of the day?

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How To Create Creativity

You want to be creative and breed creativity in your workplace, right?

Do you consider yourself to be "creative?"

Ask a group of first-graders, "How many of you are 'creative?' " Watch most of the hands go up. They smile. They show their colorful drawings and finger painting and maybe even compose a song along the way.

What happens when the same question is asked of the same kids a few years later? The responses drop to nearly zero. And the kids are still in elementary school.

Fast forward to your business meeting. Someone says "Let's get creative about how to grow the market in Asia. We've got until 5 o'clock."

Are you and I seeing the same thing here?

We've got little kids who are convinced they are creative. Then we get bigger little kids who think, "Not so much." Now we've got adults being asked to create and who are sure they aren't creative.

This post is a call for thought, not a rant. (Well, a little one). It seems to me that we have taken an entire population of creative youngsters, told them to color inside the box (or else!), and now tell them to "think outside the box"--(or else!).

Nine things to encourage creativity

Silvano Arieti  wrote a book in 1976 called Creativity: The Magic Synthesis (you can get a used copy through amazon.com). Here are his nine conditions and the reasons why:

1. Aloneness. Being alone allows the person to make contact with the self and be open to new kinds of inspiration.

2. Inactivity. Periods of time are needed to focus on inner resources and to be removed from the constraints of routine activities.

3. Daydreaming. Allows exploration of one's fantasy life and venturing into new avenues for growth.

4. Free thinking. Allows the mind to wander in any direction without restriction and permits the similarities among remote topics or concepts to emerge.

5. State of readiness to catch similarities. One must practice recognizing similarities and resemblances across to perceptual of cognitive domains.

6. Gullibility. A willingness to suspend judgment allows one to be open to possibilities without treating them as nonsense.

7. Remembering & replaying past traumatic conflicts. Conflict can be transformed into more stable creative products.

8. Alertness. A state of awareness that permits the person to grasp the relevance of seemingly insignificant similarities.

9. Discipline. A devotion to the techniques, logic, and repetition that permit creative ideas to be realized.

So now we go to our boss and say "I'd like to have some extended alone time for inactivity and daydreaming so I can come up with a creative idea for your strategy."

(Please let me know how that conversation goes).

You can act to create creativity

The next time you have charge of a meeting or idea session, how about using some of the above items to lay a foundation for creativity.

• Build in "alone time" by having people think about the task well in advance.

• Use a mind-mapping activity to address numbers 4 and 5.

• Suspend judgment and encourage the craziest ideas in the room, because

• Alertness (number 8) will connect the "crazy" dots

I hope you'll use these to be intentional about creativity. It sounds almost like an oxymoron--"intentional creativity"--but according to number 9 it isn't.

Intentional Creativity--that's a lot easier to sell to your boss than some alone time.

Graphic Source: www.creativity-zone.ch/

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Groaners For The Water Cooler

Enough seriousness. It's time to show your workplace cohorts just how sophomoric you really are. To help depress impress that special co-worker we offer, courtesy of PR pro Walt Murphy:

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Too Busy Doing Business to Do Business?

I recently met with a corporate Executive VP in New York City. I'll call him Kyle. Kyle said his division was struggling. But instead of leading the charge to turn things around, he was being called into meetings regularly to make lengthy, detailed, Power Point presentations explaining what was wrong. He was too busy doing business to be doing the business. Interestingly, one of his recommendations was for the company to get out of some of its operations because they were draining money and other resources. He explained that his people were spending too much time on things that no longer yielded the kind of margins the company desired.

Does any of this sound remotely familiar to you?

I realized while he was talking to me that I had gotten up at 5 a.m. to deal with emails from a European client; spent time on the cell phone in transit with a non-profit, pro bono client who needed to talk; and allowed myself to be sidetracked by hallway conversations with managers from the client group who I hadn't seen in a while. A similar schedule unraveled today.

What is there to learn?

1. If you do business globally in the electronic age, the expectation is that you are available on "their" time...or you should be. So choose carefully--you can't afford to be awake 24 hours a day.

2. Time management isn't really just about time. It's about clear priorities. Which means...

3. It's important to say "no." In fact, I think "no" is the solution to a lot of this craziness.

4. If you are in Kyle's position, at some point you need to tell those above you that the very act of "over-reporting" is exacerbating the problem. Do it respectfully. Share the impact and consequences on your business and let them take responsibility for whether or not it makes sense to continue all of those external demands on your time.

Note: You may not get any relief. Instead, you may hear, "Everything is equally important."

Everything isn't equally important. That's a fact.

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Ultimately It Won't Be About The Money. It Will Be About You.

Right now everyone is watching, listening, and talking about the financial situation.

Whatever legislation is passed will not prove to be the most important outcome. It will be how you choose to manage yourself through this and how you choose to view and live life as a result.

The financial chaos is a test of willingness to learn, willingness to change, and willingness to exercise the kind of discernment that leads to wisdom. It is designed to profoundly shape your character, so it's no time to use a cheat-sheet (that's what got us here).

From a leadership perspective, the self-leadership you demonstrate now will help define your organizational leadership capability in the future.

Remember: You can't control the totality of your circumstances. You can control how you respond. Those responses will tell you--and those around you--who you really are.

And no one will be paying a bit of attention to the balance in your 401k.

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Five Reasons Why "Who You Are Really" Matters

It's not about. . .

. . . a title. That's the role an organization says you're supposed to play. And that can change in a fleeting moment.

This is about who you really are.

Why is that so important?

1. Who You Are determines How you are.

2. How You Are determines the quality and depth of your relationships.

3. The quality and depth of your relationships  determine your ability to mobilize your people--workers, family, or friends--in time of need.

4. The quality of your relationships  determine  the breadth and depth of help you'll receive in your time of need.

5. Who You Are determines your brand while you're alive and your legacy afterward.

Take time today to build a firm foundation that won't shake and crack with the first sign of adversity.

I hope that provides at least 5 good reasons for action.

                                 _______________________________________________________________

Note:  I'm conducting an off-site client meeting through Friday. This article first appeared in June, 2007 and I thought it fit well with our current series here at All Things Workplace.

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Life & Careers: What Does Success Mean To You?

What Do These Success Quotes All Have in Common?

"I don't know the key to success but the key to failure is to try to please everyone." Bill Cosby

"A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and gets to bed at night, and in between he does what he wants to do." Bob Dylan

"Try not to become a man of success, but rather to become a man of value. He is considered successful in our day who gets more out of life than he puts in. But a man of value will give more than he receives." Albert Einstein

"The secret of success is constancy to purpose." Benjamin Disraeli

"Success is the progressive realization of predetermined, worthwhile, personal goals." Paul J. Meyer

I think the commonality is this:

1. Each person thought about what success meant personally.

2. None defined it in terms of others' expectations.

Have You Defined Your Own "Success" Expectations?

If you haven't, then maybe today is the day to start. Otherwise, you are at risk.

Think about it.

Without a clear sense of what a successful life means to you, everyone else controls your time, your choices, and your career. You have no firm basis on which to make decisions. And no way to tell yourself "I'm doing just fine!"

It also means that others can tell you how they think you are doing as well as what they think you should be doing. Wouldn't it be nice to be clear about why they are so wrong?!

I believe you already know what success means to you. The moment you acknowledge it and start doing something aligned with that definition, you will experience the focus and momentum needed to move forward.

What do you need to acknowledge to make this happen?

Do it. If it's closely work-related, talk with your boss about it. Most of all, put it in motion. Now.

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Talent: What You Can't Not Do

Successful People and Their Struggles

Richard Branson, the Virgin brand mogul, gets bored easily. He channels this "problem" into a positive by "getting himself into numerous businesses that he can spread himself around in."

Charles Schwab was dyslexic and almost flunked out of Stanford, having failed English twice. In business, he overcame this reading problem by speaking from the heart (nixing the need for reading and writing long memos and speeches).

Cisco CEO John Chambers was also dyslexic, so he relies on memorized speeches and interacting personally with people as much as possible.

Each of these people found a way to succeed in the face of some weakness.

Strengths from Weakness and Natural Talent

I'd like to propose that you and I look at our lives in light of those two gifts. And they are both gifts, although the first one may be difficult to see at first.

Strengths from Weakness

This isn't happy talk or psycho-babble.

Each of us is faced with some struggle around which we have to make a choice. Either we succumb to the struggle or we see it through. What we label as "overcoming" is really the molding of our character through adversity. In that process, we discover and develop strengths that serve our natural talents and purpose in life. All of the examples above reflect that.

If you choose to acknowledge your struggle and see it through, you'll end up leading and mentoring others who are struggling with similar challenges.

Why?

You'll possess knowledge, wisdom, and empathy about the issue that others cannot gain from classroom study. It will become an area of passion and personal meaning. You'll become known for your insight and strength.

What You "Can't Not Do"

Your Natural Talent(s)

If you're reading this, you are probably committed to personal and professional development. So at some point, you ask yourself "What are my real talents?"

I do a lot of mid-career counseling with executives who also wrestle with that question. Every one has read about  Following Your Bliss, Pursuing Your Passion, and Discovering Your Strengths. They get the idea. But they find it difficult to separate skills that they've developed from the talents they possess.

During one session--in the midst of my own frustration--I blurted out, "What can't you not do?"

That proved to be a breakthrough question and has turned into a cornerstone of the career counseling part of my practice.

Look at your life. What can't you not do? No matter what your job title or job description, what do you find it impossible not to get involved with? What are you always getting in trouble for because you're not supposed to be doing it--or doing it that way?

Start paying attention to that and you'll start to identify your natural talent(s). And when you're using those talents, you won't even feel as if you are working. That's one of the reasons they can be hard to identify. We're so good at them, we don't recognize them for what they are. And we tend to place a low value on them because they don't "seem like work." Yet they are the part of you that makes you a star.

What to take away

1. When faced with a struggle, recognize that seeing it all the way through will present you with a new strength. You don't yet know what that is.

2. When you make that choice, it will become an area of your life where you will help, guide, and mentor others. Your burden will become one of your gifts.

3. If you are an HR person or manager who is interviewing candidates: Ask the candidate to describe a struggle that has led to a new talent, and how they use it. Pay attention to this. It will be a powerful part of their career potential

4. What can't you not do?

Stop not doing it.

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"Aha!" Signals A Beginning

How many times have you studied, thought, worked, conversed, or meditated in order to reach an "Aha!" moment?

It seems to me that we have a tendency to treat "Ahas!" as if they are a result.  Yet when you look at them carefully, they signal a beginning; a sign that there may be a new path to pursue, something new to learn, or a situation to re-visit in a different way.

Some Aha! Questions to Ponder

1. When was your last "Aha!"?

2. Did it lead somewhere?

3. If  so, where?

4. If not, why not?

5. Is it time to re-visit it to see what you might have missed?

(Almost) Everything I Know About "Ahas" I Learned From Fourth-Graders

When I got out of the Army, I went back to college to complete the last few requirements for my degree.  I also went back to being a working--and paid--musician.  Life was good. Except for the next "Aha!."

You see, at that time in the history of the universe, there was a strange, quaint phenomenon known as dating.("Dating" was a very common ancient ritual that involved asking a young woman to go out with you alone to a movie, or a restaurant, or an event. The idea was that if you could get to know each other better, you might want to continue and develop an even deeper relationship. If this sounds strange and you want to learn more about it, go to a garage sale, buy a 45 RPM record (they look like oversized CD's with a big hole in the center), and listen to the lyrics. Hint: you will notice that the lyrics rhyme. Oh, and you'll need to buy a 45 RPM record player,too.)

Sorry.

Back to the related "Aha!" which was known as:

"Come in and meet my father"

Me with mandatory strong handshake: "Hello, Mr. ____, nice to meet you. "

Father: "Hello, young man (fathers do not utter the actual name of the perceived weasel-disguised-as-a person. Now that I am the father of a daughter, I understand the dynamic. But I can't reveal it, otherwise I would betray the other fathers-of-daughters-about-to-be-dated-by-the-weasel).

"Tell me, young man, what do you do for a living?" (This is a man-question to determine the extent of your slackerness).

Me: (proudly): Mr. _____, I'm a professional musician and I play at ______and ________.

Father: (Silence)

Father again: (Continued silence, furrowed brow, followed by look of disdain).

Father, turning to wife while walking out of the room: "Ethel, tell him to have her home by midnight."

Aha!

I learned that:

a. "I am a musician" was not a good thing to say, no matter how much money I made.

b. I would have to do something that appeared to erase my perceived weaselness and make me respectable.

Aha!

I will be a teacher.

So I did a little stint at a Junior High School.

Aha! Working with 13 and 14 year-olds clearly wasn't going to do it for me. I concluded, rather hastily, that every existing 13 and 14 year-old should be universally housed in their own country or state--say, North Dakota--until they are 20.

Obviously, High School would work out better for me.

Aha! I apparently had a very short memory and forgot that, between the ages of 15-18, Homer and Hemingway were completely overshadowed by Heaving Hormones. That leaves:

Elementary School. Yes, but what grade?

Third graders still had "accidents."

Fifth graders were reaching puberty.

And if I were to be somehow elected President, they would soon be sent to North Dakota anyway.

Aha! Fourth grade.

. . .and Here Are The 5 Things I Learned About Business from Fourth Graders

The kids--and all of us at work-- show up each day hoping that we'll have an Aha! experience. That it will lead to something new, engaging, and satisfying. As a teacher, it was my responsibility to attempt to create the conditions for that in the context of what was to be learned. So I had to do five things:

1. Be crystal clear about the learning goal.

If I wasn't clear, the day didn't go well. Minds and bodies gravitated toward something that did seem clear. The world--even the world of fourth graders--abhors a vacuum.

2. Show them the connection between what they would learn and how it works in life.

If they couldn't see how "it" was real, eyes glazed over.

3. Understand each of the kids and how they learn.

Hands-on doers, Readers, Questioners, 10-year-old Cynics. They were all represented.

4. Create an experience that would allow #3 to be satisfied.

I always thought that this was the toughest part. How do you achieve the learning goal in the designated amount of time with so many different kinds of learners?

5. Manage the experience and follow up with each of the kids.

Once I put the activity in motion, I had to touch base with each of the students, check out how they were doing, tell them how they were doing, and then formally evaluate how they did.

Applied Management That Creates "Aha!"?

1. Managing starts with clarity. The time a manager spends getting clear about what needs to be done will pay off in focused effort from increased understanding.

2. The Manager is the Mediator of Meaning. Clarity is the first part of  the issue. The other part is taking the time to show exactly how "what" you are proposing to do is directly connected to the success of over-arching goals.

3. Managers Understand How People Learn and Work. Intellectually, we all acknowledge that people learn differently and work differently. Really successful managers take time to pinpoint what those styles are and genuinely acknowledge their inherent value.

4. Managing Means Knowing How to Orchestrate the Experience. When to have a meeting or not have a meeting; who needs one-on-one attention? What isn't negotiable and what will work best with a full discussion? Is the objective really achievable--at the level of quality desired--in the originally designated timetable? Managers, go ahead and add your favorites to this list.

5. Managers Lead from Every Proximity. You'll spot a good manager out in front of the group; alongside of a direct report who is struggling; or standing in the back of the room listening to a discussion and only joining in when re-direction or a fact is needed. And everyone knows how they're doing in relation to what's expected.

I hope this has sparked an "Aha" for you. If it did, by all means weigh in in the comment box below.

Graphic Source: A Perfect World www.aperfectworld.org

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Business Choices: Starting With Peace

Three Stories and a Question

• I just spoke with a fellow who needed to end a freelance career and return to corporate life. Although he is a real pro at what he does and enjoys the consulting life, other factors impacted the decision. While this would seem like a real blow to many, he sounded very calm and relaxed. He was at peace with the decision.

• If you don't know Glenda Watson-Wyatt, you should. She typed her entire book manuscript with her thumb.

Why?

She didn't have a choice. When you visit the links above, note the bright smile that lights up the pages.

• Some years back I received a phone call asking if I would consult/coach with a VP of Engineering at a major corporation. Part of his company had actually been shut down by a government monitoring agency. I was told by associates from other consulting firms not to work with him. They said he was  "old school," "narrow minded," and "kept to himself." (Whatever that was supposed to mean).

What had his part been in the company's situation? He had actually warned the CEO and Board of Directors, verbally and in writing,  that things were happening which were wrong. When the smoke finally cleared, he was the only one of the management team left.

The proposed task? To re-invigorate and re-structure a large organization of people who had been under close scrutiny and investigation. They were ultimately found not only to be above-board in their behavior but highly competent in their profession.

I decided to ignore the comments and went to meet with him. At the end of our initial meeting it was clear to me that he wanted to make a real difference and leave a legacy of professionalism and integrity for his group, and that the road ahead would be difficult. At that point I knew little about his personal background. I heard my voice begin a question that I had never asked a prospective client before: "How is your relationship with God?"

His answer: "I am totally at peace."

We worked together for 3 years on the project until his retirement. He was not only not old school or narrow minded; he was willing to consistently be "out there" with his people to lead and encourage throughout the rebuilding of the division and the company.

Here we have three different people facing major challenges and obstacles that were not of their doing. The first person will do just fine. The second two made decisions and acted upon them with courage.

None blamed their boss, their company, or their life.

Instead, they began by becoming peaceful with the situation and themselves. It allowed them to think clearly and act wisely.

Are you starting at the right place?

What do you need to be at peace with today?

photo source: dreampad.org

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Older Workers? Check Out Bernice and Harold

Having a difficult day? Wondering what the work week or even retirement might bring?

Generational issues and the "aging workplace" are hot topics. Totally  Consumed,  Business Pundit, and Age Curve Blog are each talking about it this week.

When it comes to older workers, there seem to be at least two questions we struggle with:

a. What are the capabilities of those people we're calling older workers?

b. What am I going to want to do or be able to do when I reach the older category?

I think the answer is:

Follow Bernice and Harold

Bernice

I didn't know Bernice until I read her obituary. Take a look and see how it speaks to you.

. . .She was a world traveler, visiting Europe several times, once having the opportunity to visit the Crown Prince of Lichtenstein. She was able to engage in several unusual activities after the age of 85. In Florida her son in law took her for a ride on his motorcycle; in California she flew in a hot air balloon and enjoyed hang gliding over the pacific coastline. On a trip to Alaska, she flew in a helicopter to the top of a glacier and also participated in an exciting white water rafting experience. (Bernice) was a life long member of the Episcopal Church of the Ascension where she had been a Sunday School Teacher and member of the Choir and Altar Guild. She was very active in the OES for over 80 years and contributed countless volunteer hours for the Red Cross. She was well known as a maker of numerous braided rugs, completing two additional ones last spring, in her 100th year. She made many new friends in recent years at (The) Manor where she continued enjoying craft work. . .

Harold

I do know Harold. He's my father. He managed to survive D-Day physically unscathed.  Sixty-two years later he had a leg removed as a result of diabetes and related circulatory problems.

What did he do?

He went to physical therapy 5 days a week; mastered the use of an artificial limb; and, during lunch hour, fed those around him whose ailments made it impossible to feed themselves. Harold said it gave him a sense of worth to help people who weren't as fortunate as he. Some of his high school friends recently took him to a 68-year reunion luncheon. His description: "It was terrific to be with my buddies--the girls and the guys--and laugh together again."

The "girls and the guys." I think that's the key phrase. Bernice and Harold both decided to live life as a "girl" and a "guy" instead of caricatures from a marketing demographic.

Let's decide to do the same!

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Having a difficult day? Wondering what the work week or even retirement might bring?

Generational issues and the "aging workplace" are hot topics. Totally  Consumed,  Business Pundit, and Age Curve Blog are each talking about it this week.

When it comes to older workers, there seem to be at least two questions we struggle with:

a. What are the capabilities of those people we're calling older workers?

b. What am I going to want to do or be able to do when I reach the older category?

I think the answer is:

Follow Bernice and Harold

Bernice

I didn't know Bernice until I read her obituary. Take a look and see how it speaks to you.

. . .She was a world traveler, visiting Europe several times, once having the opportunity to visit the Crown Prince of Lichtenstein. She was able to engage in several unusual activities after the age of 85. In Florida her son in law took her for a ride on his motorcycle; in California she flew in a hot air balloon and enjoyed hang gliding over the pacific coastline. On a trip to Alaska, she flew in a helicopter to the top of a glacier and also participated in an exciting white water rafting experience. (Bernice) was a life long member of the Episcopal Church of the Ascension where she had been a Sunday School Teacher and member of the Choir and Altar Guild. She was very active in the OES for over 80 years and contributed countless volunteer hours for the Red Cross. She was well known as a maker of numerous braided rugs, completing two additional ones last spring, in her 100th year. She made many new friends in recent years at (The) Manor where she continued enjoying craft work. . .

Harold

I do know Harold. He's my father. He managed to survive D-Day physically unscathed.  Sixty-two years later he had a leg removed as a result of diabetes and related circulatory problems.

What did he do?

He went to physical therapy 5 days a week; mastered the use of an artificial limb; and, during lunch hour, fed those around him whose ailments made it impossible to feed themselves. Harold said it gave him a sense of worth to help people who weren't as fortunate as he. Some of his high school friends recently took him to a 68-year reunion luncheon. His description: "It was terrific to be with my buddies--the girls and the guys--and laugh together again."

The "girls and the guys." I think that's the key phrase. Bernice and Harold both decided to live life as a "girl" and a "guy" instead of caricatures from a marketing demographic.

Let's decide to do the same!

How's Your Global EQ?

We seem to be everywhere 

You and I are probably doing more business globally than we ever imagined. Whether it's by phone, email, or in person, our international interactions continue to increase.

That means more opportunities for new and interesting relationships--as well as the chance to unwittingly insult an entire room full of customers or colleagues. I recently did a series of posts  during a consulting and coaching engagement in France. Our group of 54 had eleven different first languages and nationalities represented. And the meeting ran smoothly from beginning to end.

So on the way back to the U.S. I began writing a post about culture and business. Then, voilà! I arrived home, started checking some of my favorite blogs, and found Pam Slim's  riff on How not to be a culture knucklehead in a global business world. The comments started piling up there and I thought "Well, maybe I better trash my post. Pam's got it covered." And, I didn't want to appear as if I was suddenly piggybacking on Pam's energy. Just before hitting the Delete key, it occurred to me that this is what blogging and sharing and community is all about. So I went back, looked at Pam's post & comments, made some revisions to mine in order to avoid duplication, and decided to roll with it. So, here goes.

Here is my (hopefully) cathartic confession

I've been traveling globally--regularly--since 1975. During that time I've lived or worked in 15  countries on four continents. As a result, I've been fortunate enough to go on holiday in other countries located near my engagements. I'm also tuned in to cultural differences and sensitivities and can get around in other languages, one fluently. Which makes me wonder: Just what was my brain doing when I uttered these?

    "Enchanté. And my, you have a lovely prostitute."

I think in many ways this is my favorite faux pas. It was in 1980, the sun was shining over the Champs Elysee, and I was feeling linguistically smug having spent the day shopping for a full wardrobe in Paris after my luggage went to Yugoslavia.

The words above were uttered when I met my client and his wife for dinner. My smugness led me to try out a colloquial phrase which I thought meant something else. It meant just what you see above.

Lesson to learn: Every language has numerous meanings for a single word, especially in certain contexts. I now stick to whatever noun is listed as (1.) in the dictionary. Life has been good as a result.

Related lesson: If you are going to mistakenly observe that your client  is married to a prostitute, adding the word "lovely" seems to soften the impact.

    "Would you please pass me a Tampon?"

Oh, fine, go ahead and laugh. So that's not one of your normal dinner table requests?

I couldn't have been in a more proper and uptight setting. Dining with a School Headmaster and his wife at their home in South Africa. She emitted a high-pitched squeal that still hurts my ears after 30 years.

What had I done? I simply asked for a napkin. (Right. Think about that word). The correct request would have been for a serviette. The aftermath was so, uh, distasteful, that I still ask for a serviette even if I'm at Burger King. "Could you super-size my serviette?"

Lesson to learn: British English and American English do not translate universally. I know that we all recognize this, but it extends way past the tube/subway, chips/fries, and hood/boot differences. So check out this, this ,and by all means this.

Related lesson: When asking for something at dinner in a different culture, directly ask the person of the same gender as you. I don't think Winston would have been as trashed as his wife was. And his verbal response wouldn't have been at a pitch designed to be heard only by Schnauzers.

Other related lesson: Doing weird things can sometimes score you some good sympathy stuff. They gave me a little etiquette book in order to broaden my Englamericish linguistic horizons. 

    "Hey, Let Me Show You My Ed Sullivan Impersonation"

So this one is dating me. Go ahead and laugh if you want to. But I do a really, really good  Ed Sullivan. Unfortunately, I did it in front of 2,000 people in a country that--at the time--did not have television!

I was on a 60-day speaking tour in Africa with 4 other businessmen. We got to know each other very well and I became known as "the guy who does Ed Sullivan." So toward the end of the tour, one of the guys (Dan) leaned over as I was walking to the stage and said, "Do your Ed Sullivan. It'll knock 'em out."

So I did.

Have you ever seen 2,000 people--waiting for a motivational speech--gasp in unison? I was amazed at their collective timing. But Dan, behind me, insisted that I was "better than ever" and should maybe do Ed Sullivan introducing Bob Dylan  singing "Like A Rolling Stone." So I did both.

Our sponsor received a phone call and Telex questioning my mental capacity (heck, my capacity was great. You should have heard the Dylan thing). When we returned, I had to account for my "lapse" in judgment:

"Didn't you know those people don't have TV's?"

"You mean not even black and white?"

"You are a dork."

"You wouldn't say that if you saw the Ed Sullivan/Bob Dylan combo."

Lesson to learn: Media are powerful. And to this day, media as we know them do not exist everywhere. And everywhere means places you may go. Check out the local media accessibility and listening/viewing habits before you get there. It will also help you understand what people may--or may not--be talking about.

Related lesson: Do what you were supposed to do in the  Speaking contract. Anything extra is at your own risk.

Other related lesson: Your colleagues are all emotionally still in high school. One-on-one they pass as adults. But in a small group, they would love nothing more than to find some way to play a prank on you in front of as many people as possible. So what should you do? 

Be part of the small group that plays the prank on someone else. Heck, just because you can make a speech for money doesn't mean that you shouldn't act your mental guy age. Think about it. Even now, every time your mom sees you she still says, "Grow up!"

Nah.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Note: This article originally ran in January, 2007. I'm sequestered in two days of talent management design sessions at a client location in Pennsylvania but will be checking emails and comments. If you have any good Pennsylvania jokes, send them this way.

 

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We seem to be everywhere 

You and I are probably doing more business globally than we ever imagined. Whether it's by phone, email, or in person, our international interactions continue to increase.

That means more opportunities for new and interesting relationships--as well as the chance to unwittingly insult an entire room full of customers or colleagues. I recently did a series of posts  during a consulting and coaching engagement in France. Our group of 54 had eleven different first languages and nationalities represented. And the meeting ran smoothly from beginning to end.

So on the way back to the U.S. I began writing a post about culture and business. Then, voilà! I arrived home, started checking some of my favorite blogs, and found Pam Slim's  riff on How not to be a culture knucklehead in a global business world. The comments started piling up there and I thought "Well, maybe I better trash my post. Pam's got it covered." And, I didn't want to appear as if I was suddenly piggybacking on Pam's energy. Just before hitting the Delete key, it occurred to me that this is what blogging and sharing and community is all about. So I went back, looked at Pam's post & comments, made some revisions to mine in order to avoid duplication, and decided to roll with it. So, here goes.

Here is my (hopefully) cathartic confession

I've been traveling globally--regularly--since 1975. During that time I've lived or worked in 15  countries on four continents. As a result, I've been fortunate enough to go on holiday in other countries located near my engagements. I'm also tuned in to cultural differences and sensitivities and can get around in other languages, one fluently. Which makes me wonder: Just what was my brain doing when I uttered these?

    "Enchanté. And my, you have a lovely prostitute."

I think in many ways this is my favorite faux pas. It was in 1980, the sun was shining over the Champs Elysee, and I was feeling linguistically smug having spent the day shopping for a full wardrobe in Paris after my luggage went to Yugoslavia.

The words above were uttered when I met my client and his wife for dinner. My smugness led me to try out a colloquial phrase which I thought meant something else. It meant just what you see above.

Lesson to learn: Every language has numerous meanings for a single word, especially in certain contexts. I now stick to whatever noun is listed as (1.) in the dictionary. Life has been good as a result.

Related lesson: If you are going to mistakenly observe that your client  is married to a prostitute, adding the word "lovely" seems to soften the impact.

    "Would you please pass me a Tampon?"

Oh, fine, go ahead and laugh. So that's not one of your normal dinner table requests?

I couldn't have been in a more proper and uptight setting. Dining with a School Headmaster and his wife at their home in South Africa. She emitted a high-pitched squeal that still hurts my ears after 30 years.

What had I done? I simply asked for a napkin. (Right. Think about that word). The correct request would have been for a serviette. The aftermath was so, uh, distasteful, that I still ask for a serviette even if I'm at Burger King. "Could you super-size my serviette?"

Lesson to learn: British English and American English do not translate universally. I know that we all recognize this, but it extends way past the tube/subway, chips/fries, and hood/boot differences. So check out this, this ,and by all means this.

Related lesson: When asking for something at dinner in a different culture, directly ask the person of the same gender as you. I don't think Winston would have been as trashed as his wife was. And his verbal response wouldn't have been at a pitch designed to be heard only by Schnauzers.

Other related lesson: Doing weird things can sometimes score you some good sympathy stuff. They gave me a little etiquette book in order to broaden my Englamericish linguistic horizons. 

    "Hey, Let Me Show You My Ed Sullivan Impersonation"

So this one is dating me. Go ahead and laugh if you want to. But I do a really, really good  Ed Sullivan. Unfortunately, I did it in front of 2,000 people in a country that--at the time--did not have television!

I was on a 60-day speaking tour in Africa with 4 other businessmen. We got to know each other very well and I became known as "the guy who does Ed Sullivan." So toward the end of the tour, one of the guys (Dan) leaned over as I was walking to the stage and said, "Do your Ed Sullivan. It'll knock 'em out."

So I did.

Have you ever seen 2,000 people--waiting for a motivational speech--gasp in unison? I was amazed at their collective timing. But Dan, behind me, insisted that I was "better than ever" and should maybe do Ed Sullivan introducing Bob Dylan  singing "Like A Rolling Stone." So I did both.

Our sponsor received a phone call and Telex questioning my mental capacity (heck, my capacity was great. You should have heard the Dylan thing). When we returned, I had to account for my "lapse" in judgment:

"Didn't you know those people don't have TV's?"

"You mean not even black and white?"

"You are a dork."

"You wouldn't say that if you saw the Ed Sullivan/Bob Dylan combo."

Lesson to learn: Media are powerful. And to this day, media as we know them do not exist everywhere. And everywhere means places you may go. Check out the local media accessibility and listening/viewing habits before you get there. It will also help you understand what people may--or may not--be talking about.

Related lesson: Do what you were supposed to do in the  Speaking contract. Anything extra is at your own risk.

Other related lesson: Your colleagues are all emotionally still in high school. One-on-one they pass as adults. But in a small group, they would love nothing more than to find some way to play a prank on you in front of as many people as possible. So what should you do? 

Be part of the small group that plays the prank on someone else. Heck, just because you can make a speech for money doesn't mean that you shouldn't act your mental guy age. Think about it. Even now, every time your mom sees you she still says, "Grow up!"

Nah.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Note: This article originally ran in January, 2007. I'm sequestered in two days of talent management design sessions at a client location in Pennsylvania but will be checking emails and comments. If you have any good Pennsylvania jokes, send them this way.

Work, Expecations, And Choice

Unmet expectations and the Chicken Little Effect

Isn't that what really lies underneath many of the alleged workplace "issues?"

Not unlike newspapers and TV, actual online headlines scream out:

"Businesses Must Close the Disengagement Gap"

"Six Fatal Flaws of Employee Compensation Programs"

"Managers Fail to Live Up to Expectations"

Each of these implies that there is some "way of being" that has been denied. That there is a huge chasm between "What is" and "What Should Be." That you and I are somehow being short-changed and we shouldn't put up with it any longer.

Closer examination will show that many of those headlines are generated on sites and blogs written by businesses that provide services in Employee Engagement, Compensation, and Management Training.

I'm all for improving one's condition in life. To do so, we have to have an accurate assessment of What Is Actually Possible, What Is Actually Probable, and What We're Willing To Do in all of this.

So I think an important question is:

Who Are We Allowing to Influence Our Expectations?

Rowan Manahan brings a wealth of experience to the world of career management. He sees--and has seen--a lot. So Ireland's Evening Herald interviewed Rowan about career expectations.

He notes that some parents, in a misguided quest to "build self-esteem," actually produce a houseful of "Little Emperors." Here's what he sees at college graduation/employment time:

Graduates, Manahan says, have hopelessly unrealistic expectations of what any job will entail. “They think the world is a simple meritocracy, and they believe that their talent will out,” he says. “They think teams are collaborative and co-operative. They are convinced that they will have it all. Work comes as a huge culture shock.

So now we've got two undeniably powerful influences on expectations: Parents and Media. If either or both of those is inaccurate--regardless of the generation--it's understandable how any individual or group expectation can become skewed.

What Do You Expect and Why?

This is a reasonable and potentially life-changing question that can lead you to a genuine breakthrough, especially if you are feeling inexplicably discontented.

It took me nearly a lifetime to understand this about work:

The overarching concern of profit-making companies is to make a profit. They may genuinely want to be "people-oriented," "socially-conscious," and collaborative. But profits are the corporate equivalent of the blood running through human veins. No blood? Death.

When you and I start bleeding, we don't care (primarily) what the ER folks do as long as they stop it and keep us alive. When corporations start bleeding, they don't care (primarily) about what it takes to sustain life and live another day. That's why some folks are laid off and find themselves hired back 6 months later. Expecting that companies run by humans will behave in an other-than-human way under threat and duress is an unrealistic expectation.

It may feel inhumane; but the stimulus-response is quite human and, therefore, to be expected.

Do this:

If you woke up this morning alive and with the prospect of a full day ahead, you were presented with a canvas on which to paint your life. And some expectations to go with it.

Did someone else somehow start filling in the space without consulting you first? If so, you'll be completing someone else's painting. Sooner or later you'll become frustrated and may not know why.

The weekend is upon us. What a perfect time to reflect and ask, "What do I really expect--and why do I expect it?"

Monday may be a lot more satisfying as a result.

 

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Curiosity, Passion and Leadership

You're looking for a workplace that will embrace your professional passion.

Leaders are looking for people to be passionate about their company's mission.

Everyone is tossing "passion" and "leadership" around like ingredients at a salad bar.

Dr. Susan Corso at Huffingtonpost created an "Aha!" for me that leads to workplace application.

She did a well-deserved "duh" after reading a New York Times article that used three decades of research by Dr. Carol Dweck of Stanford to arrive at the conclusion that some people have "fixed" mindsets while others have "growth" mindsets.

Dr. Corso grabbed my attention with this:

"If you want to discover your own talent pool, there's a simple method that sits in between Dr. Dweck's binary options. Put down the fixed mind-set and the growth mind-set. Both are too needy and attached to outcomes. Instead, pick up a curious mind-set."

This describes powerfully what I see happening in the case of "best-fit" employment scenarios:

Leaders value people who display a never-ending curiosity for the many facets of the business. Similarly, successful employees of every ilk display a never-ending curiosity that emerges as "passion" in a meeting room filled with people.

Companies aren't in the business of self-help or personal growth (although that's often a by-product). They are about learning how to do things better to improve the condition of the business.

What better measure of passion than curiosity? You can see it's presence or absence in interviews, meetings, telephone conversations, or luncheon chatter. You can display it and you can discern it.

Keep it simple

Stop the intellectual tedium surrounding "learning organizations" and focus on what prompts learning: curiosity.

Job candidates: If you want to demonstrate your passion, show your curiosity through questions that have real meaning.

Leaders: If you want to hire and promote people with passion, use curiosity as a barometer to detect it.

(For a visual reminder, feel free to print the pop-out image compliments of All Things Workplace).

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Leadership: Making Someone Else Larger Than You

No Rewards, Little Recognition, Real Leadership

We all learned in school about Isaac Newton's run-in with the falling apple. Newton revolutionized astronomy when he discovered and introduced the laws of gravity back in the 1600's.

But did you know that Newton may have simply eaten that apple had it not been for Edmund Halley, our favorite comet guy?

Halley prodded Newton to think through his original assumptions. He even double-checked and corrected Newton's math and created geometrical drawings to support his discoveries. Ever the coach, Halley bugged Newton to write his now-famous work, Mathematical Principles of Natural Philosophy. Halley edited, supervised, and financed the publication even though Newton had more money and could have paid for it himself.

Newton reaped the rewards almost immediately. Halley received very little credit.

Halley did, however, use the principles to predict the orbit and return of the comet that would later become Halley's Comet. Only after his death, though, did he garner any acclaim. Since the comet returns only once every seventy-six years, Halley's recognition is rather spotty.

Yet Halley remained a dedicated scientist who didn't care who received the credit as long as the mission was being advanced.

In a world that promises 15 seconds of sound-bite fame, let's become the kind of people who can lead a successful mission even--especially--when the camera is pointed at someone else.

This is leadership that leaves a legacy.

May your comet shine brightly.

Keeping with the spirit, would you help light up our star here at All Things Workplace? We've been nominated for Best of Leadership Blogs 2008 and would value your vote. Give a click on the link!

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Update: Age of Conversation 2

Drew McLellan and Gavin Heaton are shooting for an August release of Age of Conversation 2.

The purpose of this effort is to improve the lives of children around the world by donating the proceeds to Variety: the Children’s Charity.

As soon as the book is available, we'll post the details at All Things Workplace.

In the meantime, here is a list of contributors whose blogs you just might want to check out:

1. Adrian Ho
2. Aki Spicer
3. Alex Henault
4. Amy Jussel
5. Andrew Odom
6. Andy Nulman
7. Andy Sernovitz
8. Andy Whitlock
9. Angela Maiers
10. Ann Handley
11. Anna Farmery
12. Armando Alves
13. Arun Rajagopal
14. Asi Sharabi
15. Becky Carroll
16. Becky McCray
17. Bernie Scheffler
18. Bill Gammell
19. Bob LeDrew
20. Brad Shorr
21. Brandon Murphy
22. Branislav Peric
23. Brent Dixon
24. Brett Macfarlane
25. Brian Reich
26. C.C. Chapman
27. Cam Beck
28. Casper Willer
29. Cathleen Rittereiser
30. Cathryn Hrudicka
31. Cedric Giorgi
32. Charles Sipe
33. Chris Kieff
34. Chris Cree
35. Chris Wilson
36. Christina Kerley
37. (CK)
38. C.B. Whittemore
39. Chris Brown
40. Connie Bensen
41. Connie Reece
42. Corentin Monot
43. Craig Wilson
44. Daniel Honigman
45. Dan Schawbel
46. Dan Sitter
47. Daria Radota Rasmussen
48. Darren Herman
49. Dave Davison
50. David Armano
51. David Berkowitz
52. David Koopmans
53. David Meerman Scott
54. David Petherick
55. David Reich
56. David Weinfeld
57. David Zinger
58. Deanna Gernert
59. Deborah Brown
60. Dennis Price
61. Derrick Kwa
62. Dino Demopoulos
63. Doug Haslam
64. Doug Meacham
65. Doug Mitchell
66. Douglas Hanna
67. Douglas Karr
68. Drew McLellan
69. Duane Brown
70. Dustin Jacobsen
71. Dylan Viner
72. Ed Brenegar
73. Ed Cotton
74. Efrain Mendicuti
75. Ellen Weber
76. Eric Peterson
77. Eric Nehrlich
78. Ernie Mosteller
79. Faris Yakob
80. Fernanda Romano
81. Francis Anderson
82. Gareth Kay
83. Gary Cohen
84. Gaurav Mishra
85. Gavin Heaton
86. Geert Desager
87. George Jenkins
88. G.L. Hoffman
89. Gianandrea Facchini
90. Gordon Whitehead
91. Greg Verdino
92. Gretel Going
93. & Kathryn Fleming
94. Hillel Cooperman
95. Hugh Weber
96. J. Erik Potter
97. James Gordon-Macintosh
98. Jamey Shiels
99. Jasmin Tragas
100. Jason Oke
101. Jay Ehret
102. Jeanne Dininni
103. Jeff De Cagna
104. Jeff Gwynne & Todd Cabral
105. Jeff Noble
106. Jeff Wallace
107. Jennifer Warwick
108. Jenny Meade
109. Jeremy Fuksa
110. Jeremy Heilpern
111. Jeroen Verkroost
112. Jessica Hagy
113. Joanna Young
114. Joe Pulizzi
115. John Herrington
116. John Moore
117. John Rosen
118. John Todor
119. Jon Burg
120. Jon Swanson
121. Jonathan Trenn
122. Jordan Behan
123. Julie Fleischer
124. Justin Foster
125. Karl Turley
126. Kate Trgovac
127. Katie Chatfield
128. Katie Konrath
129. Kenny Lauer
130. Keri Willenborg
131. Kevin Jessop
132. Kristin Gorski
133. Lewis Green
134. Lois Kelly
135. Lori Magno
136. Louise Manning
137. Luc Debaisieux
138. Mario Vellandi
139. Mark Blair
140. Mark Earls
141. Mark Goren
142. Mark Hancock
143. Mark Lewis
144. Mark McGuinness
145. Matt Dickman
146. Matt J. McDonald
147. Matt Moore
148. Michael Karnjanaprakorn
149. Michelle Lamar
150. Mike Arauz
151. Mike McAllen
152. Mike Sansone
153. Mitch Joel
154. Neil Perkin
155. Nettie Hartsock
156. Nick Rice
157. Oleksandr Skorokhod
158. Ozgur Alaz
159. Paul Chaney
160. Paul Hebert
161. Paul Isakson
162. Paul McEnany
163. Paul Tedesco
164. Paul Williams
165. Pet Campbell
166. Pete Deutschman
167. Peter Corbett
168. Phil Gerbyshak
169. Phil Lewis
170. Phil Soden
171. Piet Wulleman
172. Rachel Steiner
173. Sreeraj Menon
174. Reginald Adkins
175. Richard Huntington
176. Rishi Desai
177. Robert Hruzek
178. Roberta Rosenberg
179. Robyn McMaster
180. Roger von Oech
181. Rohit Bhargava
182. Ron Shevlin
183. Ryan Barrett
184. Ryan Karpeles
185. Ryan Rasmussen
186. Sam Huleatt
187. Sandy Renshaw
188. Scott Goodson
189. Scott Monty
190. Scott Townsend
191. Scott White
192. Sean Howard
193. Sean Scott
194. Seni Thomas
195. Seth Gaffney
196. Shama Hyder
197. Sheila Scarborough
198. Sheryl Steadman
199. Simon Payn
200. Sonia Simone
201. Spike Jones
202. Stanley Johnson
203. Stephen Collins
204. Stephen Landau
205. Stephen Smith
206. Steve Bannister
207. Steve Hardy
208. Steve Portigal
209. Steve Roesler
210. Steven Verbruggen
211. Steve Woodruff
212. Sue Edworthy
213. Susan Bird
214. Susan Gunelius
215. Susan Heywood
216. Tammy Lenski
217. Terrell Meek
218. Thomas Clifford
219. Thomas Knoll
220. Tim Brunelle
221. Tim Connor
222. Tim Jackson
223. Tim Mannveille
224. Tim Tyler
225. Timothy Johnson
226. Tinu Abayomi-Paul
227. Toby Bloomberg
228. Todd Andrlik
229. Troy Rutter
230. Troy Worman
231. Uwe Hook
232. Valeria Maltoni
233. Vandana Ahuja
234. Vanessa DiMauro
235. Veronique Rabuteau
236. Wayne Buckhanan
237. William Azaroff
238. Yves Van Landeghem 

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Office Romance? Sometimes It's Patriotic

Talk about an office wedding!

Philadelphia's own "Ben Franklin" and "Betsy Ross" tied the knot last night in a ceremony right in front of Independence Hall.

Ralph Archbold (Ben) and Linda Wilde (Betsy) met while playing their ongoing roles in the city's historic district. Both are familiar to locals and tourists. As a native Philadelphian (my family came here in 1683), this prompted a huge smile at the All Things Workplace office.

Here's a video of the wedding; give it a few seconds to get past the commercial lead-in.

Interested in a historical view of the documents of independence? Check out Charters of Freedom.

Chris Guillebeau offers his personal reflections on Patriotism 2.0 . He acknowledges that it may not be happy-making to some, but he's thinking through the issues as he sees them. He's also doing it while making one of my favorite former commutes: the "ferry" between Tallin and Helsinki.

When we pause and look back at history, it's impossible to do it without reflecting upon the leadership involved. Dan McCarthy gives us a topic that will help create some conversational fireworks around the grill today with Defining Leadership--Go Ahead, Try It, I Dare You

Oh.. . exercise your freedom to vote:-) and help by supporting All Things Workplace with a click at Best of Leadership Blogs 2008. I really appreciate it.

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Nominated for "Best of..." Help Out With a Vote!

All Things Workplace has been nominated for the Top Leadership Blog of 2008 by a crack team put together by Kevin Eikenberry.

This really is an honor, especially after seeing the other nominees.

I would appreciate it if you would cast your vote here for All Things Workplace. If you've enjoyed the posts and learned something new, it would be terrific to see that acknowledged in the most "bloggy" way:-)

And thanks, as always, for your daily support and comments.

--Steve Roesler

Person Steve Roesler

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The Business of Forgiveness

Downsizing. Corruption. Bullying. Harassment. "Do more with less." Reduced benefits. Add to that list some of the people with whom you have to work every day (see Bob Sutton's No Asshole Rule).

There's a lot of opportunity for anger and hurt on the job.

Where you find anger, you find the need for forgiveness.

Why?

It's good for you. For your physical and mental health. For your relationships. For your ability to move on peacefully and productively.

Why forgiveness instead of revenge?

Christina M. Puchalski, M.D. is the Founder and Director of the George Washington Institute for Spirituality and Health and Assistant Professor of Medicine at the George Washington University School of Medicine. She says:

"On a personal level, forgiveness of self can help us achieve an inner peace as well as peace with others and with God. Wrongdoing against others and ourselves can result in guilt and resentment.  This can then lead to self-recrimination and self-loathing; it also can create a distance or disconnect from self and others. Resentment can give away to hate and intolerance. Forgiveness is the first stage of self-love and acceptance. It is also the basic building block of loving relationships with others."

It's not the offense. It's your response to it.

I confess, I'm not always a quick-to-forgive person once I've felt "wronged". I give people a very long leash and a long time to "get their act together" if things aren't going well. But there is some point at which I just say "that's it" and cut them off from my life. It is very infrequent, but the pattern is always the same. I decide that the differences are irreconcilable. So, the relationship in its present form is finished.

Does that serve me well?

Only if I genuinely forgive. It is both possible and imperative to do that and, at the same time, acknowledge that the nature of the relationship may not be productive. This is the harder part, I think. It begs the nagging question, "If I can forgive, why can't I just continue?"

Sometimes it's possible. More often, it becomes apparent that I wasn't seeing clearly to begin with and that continuing the relationship--without changing expectations--would not be peaceful or productive for either of us.

Dr. Frederic Luskin specializes in Learning to Forgive. He explains that:

"The practice of forgiveness has been shown to reduce anger, hurt depression and stress and leads to greater feelings of hope, peace, compassion and self confidence. Practicing forgiveness leads to healthy relationships as well as physical health."

Dr. Luskin's 9 Steps to Forgiveness

1. Know exactly how you feel about what happened and be able to articulate what about the situation is not OK. Then, tell a trusted couple of people about your experience.

2. Make a commitment to yourself to do what you have to do to feel better. Forgiveness is for you and not for anyone else.

3. Forgiveness does not necessarily mean reconciliation with the person that hurt you, or condoning their action. What you are after is to find peace. Forgiveness can be defined as the "peace and understanding that come from blaming that which has hurt you less, taking the life experience less personally, and changing your grievance story."

4. Get the right perspective on what is happening. Recognize that your primary distress is coming from the hurt feelings, thoughts and physical upset you are suffering now, not what offended you or hurt you two minutes--or ten years ago. Forgiveness helps to heal those hurt feelings.

5. At the moment you feel upset practice a simple stress management technique to soothe your body's fight or flight response.

6. Give up expecting things from other people, or your life, that they do not choose to give you. Recognize that "unenforceable rules" you have for your health or how you or other people must behave. Remind yourself that you can hope for health, love, peace and prosperity and work hard to get them.

7. Put your energy into looking for another way to get your positive goals met than through the experience that has hurt you. Instead of mentally replaying your hurt seek out new ways to get what you want.

8. Remember that a life well lived is your best revenge. Instead of focusing on your wounded feelings, and thereby giving the person who caused you pain power over you, learn to look for the love, beauty and kindness around you.

9. Amend your grievance story to remind you of the heroic choice to forgive.

If you would like to explore other resources, check out The Forgiveness Web  and Forgiveness Net.

Think about this today: Your workplace is a web of relationships. Being at peace with them can only make your own life a lot more satisfying.

photo attribution: www.thirdway.com 

 

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The Reward for Conformity Was. . .

This post originated as the above slide.

After a few comments it became apparent that the depth of personal meaning tweaked some synapses.

Tweakee Peter Vajda was moved to add this:

"On the path of evolution, we move from being a willing and obedient member of the group to wanting to take control over our own lives. This is a necessary but difficult transition if we are to mature emotionally and spiritually.

Many are afraid of being themselves, of being unique and different. For these things stand against the old ways (read: neurological pathways in the brain representing beliefs and assumptions about how I have to be; fear in the body that represents “flight” or “freeze”, i.e., emotions that communicate "dare not to be different") that told us that conformity was right and individualism was wrong and are the unconscious scripts that run our lives…unbeknownst to many of us.

Focused on wanting and needing approval from others, and being accepted and popular, many seek the comfort of conformity to overcome their fear and feel more secure, safe and comfortable.

So, at times when folks conform, they don’t experience the fear of living. But they often lose the juiciness and new sense of adventure, discovery, daring and zest for life. Once in a while it really hits people that they don’t have to experience the world in the way they have been told to and experiencing this new sense of life, also discover they won’t die in the process.

As Dr. Seuss said, 'Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.' "

 

Person Peter Vajda

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All Things Workplace Named One of Top 50 Productivity Blogs

We're jazzed to find ourselves on this distinguished list. Evan Carmichael does a very credible and thorough job providing motivation and strategies for entrepreneurs.

Since we're talking productivity, here are some of my "must reads" when it comes to organizational life and productivity:

Wally Bock at Three Star Leadership. This is where you'll find the "how to" of developing managers along with experience and depth of thought to support the suggestions. He also analyzes the business news of the day in ways that make it meaningful to office and cube dwellers everywhere. Wally, quite simply, knows his stuff.

Jim Stroup examines issues of Managing Leadership from every angle and every level in organizations. When he gets on a roll with a topical series, I don't miss a post.

Kris Dunn, The HR Capitalist, will help you tackle on-the-job issues like this one.

You'll never think of presentations and design the same way again after following the guidance of Garr Reynolds at Presentatation Zen.

Whether you are planning to leave corporate life or just change careers, the "Two Pams" will be happy to aid and abet your escape: Escape from Corporate America / Escape from Cubicle Nation.

For blogging tips and resources that flow throughout the day, ConverStation's Mike Sansone is in my reader.

Brainiacs everywhere can get their synapses connected by Dr. Ellen Weber at Brain Based Business along with equally brainy colleague Dr. Robyn McMaster.

David Zinger will keep you on top of employee engagement with his writing as well as his totally engaged  Employee Engagement Network.

Person Jim Stroup

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Do You Offer Hope?

They say a person needs just three things to be truly happy in this world: someone to love, something to do, and something to hope for.
  --Tom Bodett

Hope.

Companies look for job candidates with great track records. Why? These candidates give employers hope that they'll do the same for them.

Job candidates look for good employers; the kind that offer hope for a better work-life.

Managers are "mediators of hopefulness" for their direct reports.  CEO's give hope to their shareholders, employees, and customers--or they become ineffective.

Don't be the best at showing your clever-but-accurate gap analysis. We know there's a gap, and that's very "today."

Be the best at showing how to build a bridge to the other side. We want hope for tomorrow.

How are you offering hope for tomorrow, today?

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The "Be Unique and Get With The Program" Dilemma

"We forfeit three-fourths of ourselves in order to be like other people."
   --Arthur Schopenhauer (1788 - 1860)

Teenagers are my favorite people to watch. Their crusade to be different leads them to dress alike, talk alike, and act alike. They are uniquely the same. It's also a survival mechanism that leads to acceptance as well as the avoidance of getting whupped for standing out in a crowd and being too different.

I'm not sure that this phenomenon is any different in organizations. Let's face it: if expectations include cookie-cutter behavior, who wants to be the first to respond to a call for innovation, creativity, and risk-taking? In fact, it's probably difficult for people to believe that the request is even genuine.

How to Be Unique At Work--And Thrive

Your boss is looking for "better." Better methods, better revenue, better savings, better results, better quality. These give you two meaningful ways to show off your individuality:

1. What you produce that is different from anyone else's output (see "better" above).

2. How you go about doing it using your own methodology.

Once you're successful at those two, feel free to spike your hair, put rings in places they shouldn't be, and invite your boss to sing with you on company Karaoke night. We'll upload the photos here.

photo attribution: http://www.aeropostale.com/home

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