5 Ways To Be Coachable

Who Is Coachable?

The fact is, everyone isn't. Those who are uncoachable often think they have no performance issues and if there is one, believe everyone "out there" is the cause. In these cases, coaching isn't a very good option to produce positive results. It's kind of like one spouse dragging another to marriage counseling in the hope that the counselor can "fix" the partner. (Ever see how well that works?). The sticking point here is a mindset that doesn't allow someone to reflect on their own behavior, a desire to change it, and their personal responsibility for the relationship. So, forcing someone into a coaching relationship isn't the best organizational solution for certain issues and individuals.

Five Characteristics Of Coachability

If you are considering coaching someone else or being coached, here are five attributes I've observed in people who successfully "own" their part of the coaching process. You might want to use this as a quick diagnostic tool.

1. Committed to Change. Individuals who don't think they're perfect, want to improve, exhibit responsibility for their lives, and are willing to step outside of their comfort zones are good candidates for a successful coaching relationship.

2. Open to information about themselves. Be willing and able to listen and hear constructive criticism without being defensive; then, synthesize their coach's suggestions with their own personal reflections on the issue.

3. Open about themselves. Willing to engage in topics that may be uncomfortable but are getting in the way of their professional development; talks about "what's really going on" so the coach can have a complete and honest picture of the total situation.

4. Appreciate New Perspectives. People who get excited about hearing someone else's take on a situation and figure out how to learn from it can really benefit from coaching.

5. Awareness about one's self and others. Coachable people already have at least a fair amount of awareness about themselves. Equally important, they use it to reflect on their behavior and how it impacts other people in the range of situations that come their way.

You may have some others that you use to gauge coachability. If so, take a moment to add your tips with a comment below.

 

 

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Relax! Can Actually Cause Stress

The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another. --William James

Bill may have been right.

But what happens when you are given thoughts?

The Irony of Trying to Relax

We're living in exceptionally stressful circumstances right now, and the workplace is hardly an exception. No doubt we've had someone suggest cavalierly, "Oh, just relax."

Sometimes that helps; sometimes it doesn't. There's a reason for both.

It turns out that the order to "relax"  can produce everything from anxiety to insomnia as a result of stress.

Two studies conducted by Wegner, Bloome and Blumberg found that "intentional relaxation under conditions of mental load or stress produces ironic increases in skin conductance level (SCL).

Note: Skin conductance  can be described simply as sweat gland activity. Using electrodes placed on two fingers of one hand, one can measure the tiny changes in the electrical activity of the sweat gland cells located in the deepest layer of the skin. Sweat glands are activated through inputs from several areas in the brain including the frontal lobes. Skin conductance is associated with arousal, mental activity, stress, fear, and positive and negative affect, which makes it a relatively simple yet informative psychophysiological measure.

The experiment was rather simple.

1. Participants in one group received progressive relaxation instructions.

2. Then they were told, "Now I'd like you to remember a number, and this is an important part of the experiment, so I'll keep repeating the number until you memorize it."

3. Participants in another group weren't given the relaxation instructions, just the task.

The outcome: Those instructed to relax under the high load of rehearsing a long number had higher SCL than those under a high load without instructions to relax.

What This Means for Business and the Business of Life

Mixed messages breed stress.I once watched a very well-intentioned manager start a team meeting by saying, "Here are the results of the 360 team feedback. I know some of the information may be thought-provoking, but just relax."

Had the statement only included the informational part, the immediately observable level of anxiety may not have occurred.

Multi-tasking as part of "Quality Time." Telling your spouse that you are going to relax while putting together your financial presentation and watching a DVD together is a lie. You may have sensed it before--now you know it's a scientific fact. Just hope (s)he doesn't have a polygraph with a couple of those finger electrodes nearby. If so, you better hope the gift shop is open late.

Telling someone to feel good may have the opposite effect. Hopefully, we all know that it is fruitless and even demeaning to try changing how someone feels by telling them how they should feel. According to the implications of the study, we can actually make someone feel worse (stressed) as a result of trying to get them relaxed while their minds are at work. This applies to managers giving performance feedback, parents disciplining children, and coaches working with clients. Healthy people are designed to live and learn by living and learning through the depth and breadth of their emotions. Attempting to alter the truth of what someone is experiencing will inhibit their process. And you won't be seen as helpful.

So, just relax. If you feel like it.

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Really Smart People Keep Learning

Is that just too obvious to you?

The impact on organizations is huge and, I think, grossly underestimated.

Hiring "smart people" often consists of hiring recent grads with high grade point averages or candidates with related experience.

My consistent observation within organizations is that this is only a fraction of what's needed--and frequently meaningless.

More and more, especially with ongoing change, the path to performance is learning. But there is a cry continuing to be heard in board rooms and hallways: "But (name) is so smart. Why can't (s)he get what we're doing?

The answer lies in willingness and ability on a person's part to:

1. Recognize that something new requires learning

2. Understand that "new" means it's time to learn again

3. Suspend judgment and try  a different way of doing things

This isn't an issue of IQ. It's an issue of EQ.

When I created the tag line "Teaching Smart People Practical Ways to Become Extraordinary", the response from clients and colleagues was positive. The question that does pop up is : How do you decide who is smart and who isn't?

The answer: I don't know who will fit into that category until I start working with  an individual or an organization. When facing a challenge or simply wanting to grow, those who are willing to make the necessary changes look awfully smart to me. And it's the willingness to learn that defines "smart".

Under the same circumstances, those who dig in and make excuses for why they shouldn't at least give it a try fall into the opposite category.

Would your organization be willing to define "smart" in a similar way?

Bonus:  Mary Jo Asmus lays out a key leadership skill that will make a difference in your career, regardless of your position in the organization. Check out The Key Missing Piece

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Why You Should Keep It Simple

"Everything should be made as simple as possible, and no simpler."

--Albert Einstein

If Einstein was into simple, then why aren't we?

Whether you're an entrepreneur, coach/consultant, or someone slugging it out every day in corporate life, you know how complex things can become. But why?

3 Reasons Things Become Complex When They Don't Have To Be

1. Complexity can indicate a lack of clarity. When nothing is number one, everything becomes number one--all at once.

2. Many people view complex explanations and business presentations as indicative of superior intelligence.

I've not seen that proven to be true. Instead, they are often indicative of lack of focus and preparation, or an attempt to overwhelm the listener(s) into thinking that what is being said can't really be understood by the “unwashed.” Therefore, the speaker should be granted carte blanche to proceed with the proposal or project, whatever it is.

Note: From now on this should raise a red flag for you. Why? Because you are about to learn

Roesler Rule of Life #27:

Truth comes in sentences. B_ llS_it comes in paragraphs. If you can’t say it with a noun, verb, and object, you aren’t clear about your thought. Or, you may be about to commit #2 above.

3. We are bombarded with so much new information and imagery that our senses are overwhelmed . Our immediate reaction is:

    a. Trying to make sense of all of it in the midst of what we've already begun to do for the day.

    b. Multitasking to deal with all of it.

Einstein Gave Us The Answer To This One, Too.

One of the principles within the Theory of Relativity is this:

"It is impossible to detect the motion of a system by measurements made within the system."

(What a great sales line for coaches and consultants!)

As individuals, we can't sort out our blind spots from within. We need a relationship with someone who will tell us the truth, give us another perspective, and with whom we are accountable to follow through.

It's an issue of honesty.

Corporations have an even more difficult time. Systems, procedures, and programs built from within are understandably (given human nature) protected and defended by those who are attached to them. Yet the only way to clearly see the reality of a situation is to have someone stand up and tell the truth about it, good or bad. That can be a career-limiting opportunity for the keen observer. Yet to make changes that mean something, successful companies will have to promote that kind of candor or shrivel and die.

It's an issue of honesty.

With ourselves and our companies, the only thing we can decide is what we will do, personally:

Will we speak the simple truth, ask for the simple truth, or claim that our lives are so complex that we can't know the truth?

And then lament the fact that nothing has changed.

3 Ways To Help Make the Complex Simple

1. Before you start the day, answer this question:

"If I can only have one result today to the exclusion of all else, what must it be?"

Pay attention to that. Let go of the rest.

2. Edit your professional language--in length as well as terminology--so a 9 year-old can understand it. Then everyone around you will know that you understand it, too.

3. When you catch yourself multi-tasking, see how you are coming along with #1. Then go back to #1.

 

 

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Get The Most From Professional Assessments

How is your organization using professional assessments?

Self-assessments, 360 degree feedback, assessment centers, and other similar tools are widely used in the workplace. What's your experience with them?

A lot of information is generated during the assessment process. I was reviewing some feedback that was coming in for a client and realized that there are lots of good uses for it. And we may not always be taking the best advantage of the information and the potential process. So. . .

Would Some of These Help You and Your Organization?

Assessment feedback, by definition, is given to the subject of the assessment. That person is often asked to reflect  and decide what, if anything, to do with it. That's fine. Making changes is a choice. But here are some other ways to get the most from the data. You may be doing some are all of them now. If not, here are some thoughts that I hope you will find helpful:

1. In the case of 360 feedback, encourage the recipient (I'll use the word "Manager") to get together with the group that generated the data. It's an opportunity, at minimum, to acknowledge the time and energy they put into the activity.

Suggest that the Manager share the themes and take-aways from the data. 360 activities have some of the same dynamics as surveys. Participants want to know what happened with their input--and what will change as a result. This is a chance to do just that. And, if the Manager has misinterpreted something, the group can add clarity.

Yes, I know that the feedback is anonymous, blah blah. However, the act of inviting the respondents to come together also invites a deeper level of candor. And the fact of the matter is: These are people with whom the Manager has to work. Sooner or later it will be time to increase the honesty of conversations. This is an ideal framework in which to do that.

2. A Good Reason For A Good Conversation with "The Boss."

If you're the Manager, make an appointment with your boss. Tell what you think you want to do differently. Ask if the boss sees the data and your intended changes in the same way. Or differently. Here's the principle: Giving straight feedback is difficult for a lot, if not most, people. Including the boss. If you provide the data and ask for suggestions, you've done the work that your boss my find tough. It may be the most meaningful conversation you've had with that person.

3. A Good Reason For a Good Conversation with Your Reports.

If it's a 360, some or all of those folks provided feedback. I wouldn't call a departmental meeting and declare "Let's share." I would do one of these two:

• Make it a point to informally share what you learned and are working on with each person. Do it in the course of normal conversation.

• If you have a full group meeting coming up soon, take 10 minutes to talk about the assessment, the process, what you learned, what you are working on, and what kind of support you need to do those things. The payoff? You get help. You set the model that getting feedback and doing assessments is a valuable activity.

4. Self Assessments. Any or all of the above will be helpful to validate your self perception. We have ways of deceiving ourselves on both scales: positive and negative. Have the conversations that will give you an accurate picture.

Let's assume that you--or whoever is being assessed--will use the info for development. Here's the payoff you don't want to miss: the data provide an "objective" reason to have a "subjective" conversation. When you rally around the information, you are in an arena that's focused on performance factors and not necessarily you as a person. (That may be a result. Why not find out while you still have time to make changes?).

Most of all: an assessment offers  a legitimate reason to have the kind of conversation you've been missing.

Go for it!

And...a warm thank you to Ellen Weber at Brain-Based Business for making me one of this week's MITA Millionaire Bloggers . As I mentioned in my "thank you" comment to Ellen, I wish my  Mom were still alive to see "Steve Roesler" and the word "Brain" on the same page.

I know she'd have a comment, too!

 

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Ten Life Lessons From Business

I'm in the process of completing a program design for a university where I'll be working with business students on bumping up their game when it comes to professionalism and organizational savvy. The activity prompted me to think back over years of managing, training, and consulting, and what kinds of life lessons were learned along the way. (Business is part of life, not the other way around). 

So, I thought I'd share the list that emerged after thinking over the past 30 years in business:

Ten Life Lessons From Managing and Consulting

1. You can be in charge, but you're never in control.

2. If you have a Powerpoint slide with a graph whose curve always points upward, you're lying. Delete it.

3. If you look at people through your own eyes, you'll judge them for who you think they are. If you look at them through God's eyes, you'll see them for who they can become.

4. You can't be good at who you are until you stop trying to be all the things you are not.

5. Charge what you are worth. If you don't, you'll begin to resent your employer or client, even thoughyou decided to take the assignment.

6. You can't control circumstances. You can control your response to them. Those who learn to respond thoughtfully and peacefully are the ones who are accorded trust and power.

7. Overt displays of position power show weakness.  Genuine humility shows power.

8. All groups aren't "teams". Often they are just collections of people who work really, really well together. Leave them alone.

9. No one can know how to be an effective leader until they've toiled as a dedicated follower.

10. Knowledge is not wisdom. Wisdom is knowledge applied with discernment.

What Are Your Business Life Lessons?

Do you have life lessons from business that you can add? Click on the comment box and use your experience to contribute to someone else's development.

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Four Ways Managers Can Impact Learning

Leaders, managers, and heads of projects constantly seek ways to grow talent and make a difference in organizational success.

More and more, job candidates are asking the question, "What will I learn here?" If they don't like the answer, chances are they'll keep looking.

So, I began reflecting on some recent speaking and workshop experiences. Four distinct factors came to mind as I thought about the give-and-take that led to learning for all of us. I hope you'll find these useful.

 

Four Ways to Impact Learning

Impact Curiosity: For every action there's a reaction. When we say or do something, people want time to react to it, talk about it, and understand what it means to them.

Practical Application: Allow  time for questions and answers. The give-and-take after you speak is where people actually learn and where they begin to develop an affinity for, and commitment to, the topic. Even if you're an expert, the learning takes place as a result of people wrestling with the information or idea rather than being the recipients of a data dump--no matter how eloquent you may be.

Impact self-confidence: How you deliver and discuss the information impacts how people feel about learning it. People with position power--managers, supervisors, team leaders--all have the ability to build confidence in the learners or create a defensive atmosphere.

Practical Application: Tell the group at the outset that you value their questions and that you hope they'll jump in when they experience an "Aha!" or a "Help me, I don't get it." When someone asks a question, throw it back out to the group to give someone else a chance to form an answer that may be framed in a way different than your own. Thank people whenever they ask a question or offer an answer.

Impact motivation: Even as youngsters, we knew who the teachers were who made learning exciting, interesting, and engaging. Why not be the "managerial version" of your best teacher. And remember this: Managers Are The Mediators of Motivation.

Practical Application: Take some time to develop questions and break people into groups to address them; if you're talking about a new marketing approach, give people a block of time to do a concept and present it to the group. You know the content. The time you spend designing the right approach will pay off in engaged learners and, ultimately, effective learning.

Impact Creativity: Unless you're involved in safety procedures, accounting rules, or a regulatory issue, people want to be able to offer their own "variation on a theme." One of the reasons to bring people together is to capitalize on the collective creativity and varying viewpoints in the room.

Practical Application: Give people latitude to take the discussion in directions that you never thought of. Remember, you're in charge--but to try to be in control will shut down the kind of learning that the group--and you--have an opportunity to experience.

Bonus: When the noise level goes up and people start debating, discussing, and delving into a topic, you've been successful. Let it go until the energy begins to die down. Then, capture the points that they were making with their co-workers and discuss next steps.

When learners sit passively, you may feel more relaxed because you feel in control not having to respond to questions or manage the group. What it may really mean is that they aren't engaged, aren't learning, and are waiting "until the bell rings" so they can go back to their workspace.

So, pick one of the four and impact someone's learning today. You can.

 

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Coaching Your People?: Manage Risks

We all want to stretch the capabilities of our team members. At the same time, think about minimizing failure when someone has a "stretch" goal with high risk attached. Any high risk goal can damage your reputation, your staff member, and even the organization. 

Manage risks by discussing the actions your person plans to implement. Then, monitor the results and agree on frequent reviews to catch anything that needs adjusting before things get "off track." Stretch goals are great confidence builders for everyone involved; they also require more follow up conversations than low risk goals. 

Speaking of low or lower risk activities: it usually works well to have the person your coaching go ahead and act first, then report back in and discuss how things went and what was learned.

Important point: Solid coaching agreements include mutual responsibility. Show loyalty to your staff even if something goes wrong, then help them pinpoint lessons learned for the future.

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Four Ways To Impact Learning

Leaders, managers, and heads of projects constantly seek ways to grow talent and make a difference in organizational success.

More and more, job candidates are asking the question, "What will I learn here?" If they don't like the answer, chances are they'll keep looking.

So, I began reflecting on some recent speaking and workshop experiences. Four distinct factors came to mind as I thought about the give-and-take that led to learning for all of us. I hope you'll find these useful.

Four Ways to Impact Learning

Impact Curiosity: For every action there's a reaction. When we say or do something, people want time to react to it, talk about it, and understand what it means to them.

Practical Application: Allow  time for questions and answers. The give-and-take after you speak is where people actually learn and where they begin to develop an affinity for, and commitment to, the topic. Even if you're an expert, the learning takes place as a result of people wrestling with the information or idea rather than being the recipients of a data dump--no matter how eloquent you may be.

Impact self-confidence: How you deliver and discuss the information impacts how people feel about learning it. People with position power--managers, supervisors, team leaders--all have the ability to build confidence in the learners or create a defensive atmosphere.

Practical Application: Tell the group at the outset that you value their questions and that you hope they'll jump in when they experience an "Aha!" or a "Help me, I don't get it." When someone asks a question, throw it back out to the group to give someone else a chance to form an answer that may be framed in a way different than your own. Thank people whenever they ask a question or offer an answer.

Impact motivation: Even as youngsters, we knew who the teachers were who made learning exciting, interesting, and engaging. Why not be the "managerial version" of your best teacher. And remember this: Managers Are The Mediators of Motivation.

Practical Application: Take some time to develop questions and break people into groups to address them; if you're talking about a new marketing approach, give people a block of time to do a concept and present it to the group. You know the content. The time you spend designing the right approach will pay off in engaged learners and, ultimately, effective learning.

Impact Creativity: Unless you're involved in safety procedures, accounting rules, or a regulatory issue, people want to be able to offer their own "variation on a theme." One of the reasons to bring people together is to capitalize on the collective creativity and varying viewpoints in the room.

Practical Application: Give people latitude to take the discussion in directions that you never thought of. Remember, you're in charge--but to try to be in control will shut down the kind of learning that the group--and you--have an opportunity to experience.

Bonus: When the noise level goes up and people start debating, discussing, and delving into a topic, you've been successful. Let it go until the energy begins to die down. Then, capture the points that they were making with their co-workers and discuss next steps.

When learners sit passively, you may feel more relaxed because you feel in control not having to respond to questions or manage the group. What it may really mean is that they aren't engaged, aren't learning, and are waiting "until the bell rings" so they can go back to their workspace.

So, pick one of the four and impact someone's learning today. You can.

 

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How To Build Your People

Steve suggests: Start by seeing clearly who they really are. 

Ponder this for a moment:

• How many people at work know who you really are?

• How many people do you see clearly for who they are?

I was thinking about the things an executive coach really does--or should be doing. One of the most important is this: Seeing people for who they are, realizing what they can be, and helping to take them there.

If that doesn't sound very "business-like," it probably isn't in the traditional sense of "business-like."

And therein lies the issue. Organizations of all kinds hire the best people they can find. Those folks look at the "people are our most important asset" blurbs in the corporate recruiting brochures.Then they  sign on with high hopes.

What happens later on that causes discontent, retention issues, and the need to search for "talent?" Weren't they talented when they were hired?

Here's what I see.

I see highly motivated people getting performance appraisals that are designed to force rankings on a curve so they never accurately portray an individual's contribution and worth. I see employees at all levels  getting feedback on the gaps in their performance--and then receiving direction to "close the gaps." I see the same people then coming to workshops and seminars, hearing theoretical--but good--teaching, only to go back to work and say "what do I actually do with that?"

In nearly 30 years of managing, consulting, and coaching, I can count on one hand the number of people I've seen fired for technical incompetence. They get released for issues of character,  the inability to relate well with other people, or not being able to "close the gap."

Here are my thoughts as a result:

1. The character issue can be discerned during the hiring process. Discernment should be a highly valued talent possessed by those interviewing.  If not, get a coach to help with that element. Someone who sees others clearly and quickly for who they are.

2. Relating well with other people. You can send people to class to learn some skills. My question is this: does the day-to-day interaction at work model, support, and reward good relationships? A coach can impact that issue--or help the individual see that another role--maybe even in another organization--would be a better match. It's the coach's job to see those things clearly and to help the other person gain the same clarity.

3. Workshops and Education. Two things I enjoy with a passion. None has ever changed my own behavior very much. But I have learned a lot that has helped me think differently and more clearly. When do they work? When a manager or coach shows someone how to actually do what was taught--in the context of the organization's strategies and culture.

Manager As Coach

Before you get the idea that this is a treatise on why you should hire me, let me propose this: Managers can coach if they choose to see their people clearly by building relationships that let them know who their folks really are. If they don't have the time or inclination, then get some help to build the talent that seems, at times, to be hiding. It's probably not hiding. It might just be invisible to the naked eye.

And that brings us back to the opening:

If you want your talent to be valued, you've got to let people around you know who you really are. Make it impossible for them not to see you clearly.

If you are a manager, start thinking about intentionally "seeing clearly." And if it's tough, then get some help.

You and I wouldn't build a house in the dark. We need light to see in order to build. And unless your a truffle, you need a lot of light in order to grow and use your talent to perform.

As always: weigh in. Share your thoughts on clarity, talent, and building people by seeing them clearly. Let the community learn from what you've learned. Click on Comments and join the discussion.

 

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Too Busy Doing Business to Do Business

I just met with a corporate Executive VP in Philadelphia. I'll call him Les. Les said his division was struggling. But instead of leading the charge to turn things around, he was constantly being called into meetings to deliver lengthy, detailed, Powerpoint presentations explaining what was wrong. He was too busy doing business to be doing the business.

Interestingly, one of his recommendations was for the company to get out of some of its operations because they were draining money and other resources. He explained that his people were spending too much time on things that no longer yielded the kind of margins the company desired.

Does any of this sound remotely familiar to you? I realized while he was talking to me that I had gotten up at 5 a.m. to deal with emails from a European client; spent time on the cell phone in transit with a non-profit, pro bono client who needed to talk; and allowed myself to be sidetracked by hallway conversations with managers from the client group who I hadn't seen in a while. A similar schedule unraveled today.

The Fallacy of "More Is More"

In a well-known graph about productivity and multi-tasking (from a 1990′s Harvard Study by Steven C.Wheelwright and Kim B.Clark), two researchers showed the benefits of multitasking – but only in situations where the subject worked on two things at once. Any more than two, and productivity declined. A lot.  This graph shows the results of productivity as related to number of tasks. 

The Lesson: People who multitask actually do far worse on performance than people who eliminate distractions and focus their attention on one or two things.

What to do?

1. If you do business globally in the electronic age, the expectation is that you are available on "their" time...or you should be. So choose carefully--you can't afford to be awake 24 hours a day.

2. Time management isn't really about time. It's about clear priorities. Which means...

3. It's important to say "no." In fact, I think "no" is the solution to a lot of this craziness. It's almost impossible to say "no" with confidence unless you are clear about what's really important.

4. If you are in Les's position, at some point you need to tell those above you that the very act of "over-reporting" is exacerbating the problem. Do it respectfully. Share the impact and consequences on your business and let them take responsibility for whether or not it makes sense to continue the external demands on your time.

What priorities will you clarify today so that you do the right business?

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Learning How To Develop Others

"Developing Others" ranks dead last on just about every organizational skill level survey with which I've been involved or have read. 

It's not because people lack awareness of its importance; quite the contrary. It's because development takes time. It involves getting to know people and their capabilities at more than a surface level. To develop people, you have to follow a few fundamental steps.

Here's How To Begin

1. Start with an accurate picture of the person's strengths and weaknesses. They can't grow if they don't have good information about themselves. And managers can't help them develop without the same kind of clarity.

2. Get ongoing feedback from multiple sources. The key words here are ongoing and multiple. 

Ongoing: Performance improves with information that is provided as close to an event as possible. That way, the situation is still fresh and the details clear. If I get feedback in November about something that happened in February, what am I really supposed to do about it? And I have to ask myself: "If it's so important, why did you wait this long to tell me?"

Multiple sources: We all have bosses and peers; if we're managing, we also have direct reports. When I do 360s for clients, I always insist on feedback from people outside of the person's direct chain of command, even external customers if there is a lot of customer interaction. When someone is working across boundaries on a project, there's a wealth of information available about the ability to build relationships and influence outside of the "power" sphere. 

3. Give first-time tasks that progressively stretch people. In a series of leadership conferences we conducted between 2006-2009, participants told us that the single most valuable contributor to their leadership growth was a series of stretch assignments. No one grows from doing the same thing more and more. '

4. Build a learner mentality. Encourage your people to think of themselves as professional learners as well as (job title). In meetings and one-on-on one, ask:

• What are you learning that's new or different?
  
• Where have you seen yourself improve most in the past year?
  
• What have you learned in one situation that you can now use in others?

5. Use coaching, mentoring, classroom, online, books, coursework, and stretch assignments to promote and reinforce learning and development.

One of the byproducts of developing your people: you gain satisfaction and stature as a result of their success. 

Who will you help today?

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The Value of Self-Awareness

Organizations gain a lot more from leaders who take responsibility for what they know they don't know than from leaders who pretend to know everything.

What recently occurred to me in an "aha" moment is this: self-awareness is one of the most valuable leadership competencies, yet it is one of the least discussed. In an effort to appear task-focused and "business-like," organizational feedback often gravitates toward hard skills and competencies that are more easily measurable. 

Have You Thought About This?

People who don't know their strengths and weaknesses actually tend to overestimate themselves. Research literature and my own coaching experiences have shown that poor self-awareness leads to poor performance and, frequently, termination. 

We live in a highly competitive culture. I've watched more than a few leaders and leader wannabes try to appear as if they know everything all the time. They believe that if they don't, people will question and even challenge their capability, undermining their leadership effectiveness. In fact, the opposite is true. Whether you acknowledge your weaknesses or not, those around you still see them. The result: trying to hide a weakness actually magnifies it, leading to a perceived lack of integrity and, ultimately, trust. 

Knowing yourself helps you use your strengths better, develop where you can, and avoid or compensate for areas where you are unskilled or just plain unsuited. 

The simple truth: People who know themselves better do better.

Helpful resource: Chris Musselwhite was ruminating over similar issues back in 2007, and wrote a terrific article on Self Awareness in Inc. Check it out: http://tinyurl.com/yj2st6x

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A quick note on comments: Due to a heavy travel and speaking scheduling, plus the holidays, I've been remiss in responding to comments in a timely way. My apologies to all who have taken time to weigh in and add to the conversation. All Things Workplace has always been a forum for discussion. I'll be getting caught up this week and we'll get the conversation rolling again. Thanks to everyone who has added their expertise and thoughts in the comment section. 

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Honestly, How Many Choices Do You Want?

The rallying cry of sales reps, product managers and politicians is "Choices! We offer choices!"

My observation? 

We really don’t like having too many choices. It makes us a little nervous. Every option leads to a chance to foul something up. Heck, a lot of people are more worried about not being wrong than about being right. So, we allow our experiences and habits to narrow our options to just a couple of familiar ones. It reduces the anxiety and relieves stress.

So, how do you make genuine changes faced with the siren song of habits?

The first move is to re-capture your sense of conscious choice in place of habitual reactions.  This leads to new options and frees you up from repeating the mistakes that have risen from repetition.

Be aware: it's not a single event, but a way of life.

More Good Options Than You Think!

You can choose how to respond, regardless of the situation and circumstances. Here are some possibilities that can change your world today. None of the options is confusing and you have permission to pick just one to get started:

• Don’t take yourself too seriously. Try something new and different, and don't worry about getting it wrong. People who never made a mistake never made anything else.

• Caught up in your emotions? Over-enthusiasm, revenge, or frustration will each whisper lousy advice in your ear. Wait until they stop talking, chill out, and re-visit the decision.

• Listen longer before you respond to someone, at work or at home. The other person will feel more respected and you're just liable to see something from their viewpoint--in which case, you may end up in agreement. At the least, you'll learn something new.

• Eschew snap judgments. It's easy to take a stand; the workplace smiles upon "strong"people. But when it comes to who is right and who is wrong, a knee-jerk reaction can wreck relationships. Besides, do you like it when someone makes a judgment about you?

• Stop the self-talk about what you can’t do. Once you start doing that, you'll make it come true. Give your idea a try and see what happens. If it doesn't work, so what? Really. So what? If it does work, think about how you'll feel.

Now there's only one option: Will you choose to try doing something differently?"

_________________________________________

If this is something important to you, you'll also want to read:

Fear of Success and Lasting Change: Part 1

Fear of Success and Lasting Change: Part 2

 

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Managing & Coaching: It's About Support

If you are a manager, a coach, or a manager who (hopefully) coaches, the biggest help you can provide is offering support without undermining your employee or client's sense of self -responsibility. 

It's easy to see "support" as jumping in and bailing out someone who is struggling with a situation. Instead, create an up-front agreement telling when you'll be available as a sounding board to sort out ideas or explore solutions to problems. That way, you serve as an energizer: enabling learning versus directing it.

There will be times when your seniority or position power will be needed to influence others in the organization. When that happens, provide your support. In organizational life, managers can often be most helpful by removing barriers for their people.

Successful On-The-Job Coaching: 3 Things To Do

1. Ask your employee to pinpoint issues and tasks where support is needed.

2. Let her know when when you're available to provide the needed support.

I just came across the next one as a result of a team diagnostic. The team leader thought there was some conflict within the team. He was right.

3. Make sure others on the team are working toward the same goal. Really. 

My leader client had, unwittingly and without malice, laid out a plan of action that forced a few team members to focus on cost-cutting while others were focused on growth (it was a sales team). He resolved it quickly by pulling everyone together and re-visiting the larger goal (profitability) while facilitating a discussion with the account reps to identify how they could best support each other while hitting the individual and group targets. He offered about 30% of the solutions based on deep experience; the team members worked out the other 70% themselves.

What to take away: The combination of support and self-responsibility is the key to growing people. Make sure both are abundant.

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Do You Really Know The Norms?

So, you've got a sense of the culture in your organization. Good.

It's time to go one level deeper and begin to see clearly the norms that come together to create that culture. If norms influence the culture, then you need to be aware of how to influence the norms.

Norms are rules that a group uses to define its appropriate and inappropriate values, beliefs, attitudes and behaviors. The catch: Those rules may be explicit or implicit. And those unspoken norms will bite you every time if you don't find out what they are.

Norms are so important that a failure to stick to the rules can result in severe punishment, the most feared of which is exclusion from the group. A common rule is that some norms must frequently be displayed; neutrality is seldom an option. Think about what "business casual" means in your company. Khakis and a golf shirt? Logo shirt? Jacket without a tie?

Your Norm Checklist

To help you and your colleagues identify norms, here are five very specific categories:

1. Explicit Norms are written or spoken openly.

2.  Personal Norms: Standards we hold regarding our own actions.

3. Injunctive Norms: Behaviors perceived as being approved of by other people.

4. Subjective Norms: Expectations that "valued others" hold as to how we will behave.

 5. Implicit Norms: Not stated openly; however, you'll find out quickly when you break one!

Norms can be conveyed  by non-verbal behavior such as silence or 'dirty looks' in response to an unspoken norm having been broken. They may also be passed along through stories, rituals and role-model behavior. In Japan, new employees are assigned a mentor who, over time, passes along the company's norms by sharing stories about people, situations, and the outcomes. No employee manual needed here; simply the storytelling of a more experienced employee.

What to Do

• Identify the rules you put on other people  as a condition for being in your group. Are these productive or convenient?

 

• What rules have the group put on you? Are they productive or convenient? Are there any which are particularly bothersome and unproductive?

What would happen if you made the implicit explicit? 

 

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Do You Think Systemically?

I'm sure that using the word "systemically" in the title won't thrill the search engines. But I do think it's the truth, so I'm going with it.

Does your organization know the difference between "systems" and "thinking systemically?"

So: I'm invited to a meeting because of my systemic approach to organization and talent development. The leader does the intro and closes it with, "Here's Steve to tell us what system to use to get the most out of our people."

Between my seat and the front of the room (and the desire to barf), I realize that the many conversations with this guy were rife with misunderstanding. So I've got to own part of it. But this is a well-educated man who I just assumed knew the difference between "a system" and "thinking systemically." I was wrong. Now I'm figuring others may be in the same boat as well and not know it.

So let's try this with some help from Dictionary.com:

System–noun

1. an assemblage or combination of things or parts forming a complex or unitary whole: a mountain system; a railroad system.

Systemic-adjective

1. of or pertaining to a system.

2.    Physiology, Pathology.
a.     pertaining to or affecting the body as a whole.
b.     pertaining to or affecting a particular body system.

Here is a way to help people at work think about the organization:

First: There are (hopefully) systems in place to make things happen.

Second: When thinking about talent (or changes), think systemically by connecting all of the systems and looking at how they impact and relate to each other. 

As you think about your own organization or perhaps that of a client, where do you see decisions being made in ways that tend to overlook the systemic--or connected--nature of all organisms?

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What Are Your Cognitive Biases?

I put a link to this yesterday and started receiving emails with thoughts and comments. So, here's the real deal. Kudos to The Royal Society of Account Planning.

Cognitive Biases - A Visual Study Guide by the Royal Society of Account Planning

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Changes: Diagnostic Leadership

Leading Change: When People Don't Know What They Don't Know

Western culture likes to wave the "total participation" flag when it comes to business decisions and implementation. I've spent time in this series discussing the importance of involvement and erring on the side of inclusion. The assumption, though, is that people have some degree of willingness and ability to do what needs to be done to make the desired change.

But what happens if people are unwilling, unable, or both?

General George S. Patton who, while never accused of being warm, fuzzy, and participative, was successful by anyone's standards when it came to quickly making changes in the worst of circumstances. And the attrition rate in Patton's armies was the lowest despite the greatest level of exposure.

The key was this: The average soldier may not have known what to do in an overwhelming situation and even if he did, the consequences might create a sense of hesitation due to uncertainty or fear. Patton did know what to do and how to do it. And he knew how to explain the benefits and consequences of action vs. inaction (if needed).

Quickly assessing willingness and ability--then leading a myriad of changes and changes-within-changes accordingly--can be seen in a study of his actions.

What happens when you do a quick assessment of your "change" and realize: "I'm not seeing a groundswell of support or the ability to get there even if there were support!"

What To Do

In the absence of either or both of those factors, effective leaders become directive: They tell people what to do, show them how to do it, bring them along the learning curve, and don't back off until the level of performance required can be achieved without close leadership. To do anything less would be to treat people badly. Think about it: If you have to do something but don't understand why or how, aren't you looking for someone to step in and offer the necessary context, structure, and teaching?

This also assumes that the necessary level of willingness and ability can be reached. If it can't, some people will have to opt out or be asked to leave based on one or both factors. Why?

1. Performance can't be achieved

2. People who are unwilling are toxic to the effort. If they are allowed to stay they will be the ones who set the standard. And the standard will be one of "status quo" or "lowest common denominator", not "let's accomplish all that we can."

3. People who are unable--even with training and education--need to find a new place where they can excel. It's not a matter of what they have contributed in the past. It's what they will be able to achieve for themselves and an employer in the future. There is every reason to help people in this category with the transition as well as sincerely celebrating their contributions.

The Diagnostic Leader

Really effective leaders are also really effective diagnosticians. They understand what they specifically want to improve and then diagnose the willingness and abilities of those who are critical to success. As a result, they operate with the right mix of direction and participation and know when to shift back and forth.

I've said this before but it's worth repeating: Prognosis without diagnosis is malpractice.

Don't tell a perfectly conscious patient where it hurts.

And don't ask an unconscious patient to participate as an active partner in the treatment.

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How Do You Measure Workplace Happiness?

I was checking the statistics here to discover the search engine queries that bring people to All Things Workplace. I figured that the keywords were going to be mostly about leadership or management.

I was wrong.

"Job Satisfaction"..."Happiness at Work"..."Where Can I Find the Best Job?"..."Strengths and Weaknesses"..."How Can I Find A Job Where the Boss Listens to Me?"...those were the themes. Career issues--sometimes disguised as communications--turned out to be the number one driver.

Make no mistake. People are searching for how to feel good at work. We want to do well...and we want to feel good in the process.

Think about two variables

There's a relationship between how much you love your job and how well you perform. That's not a mystery. But there is a dynamic you need to know about in order to manage yourself and others:

1. Some people have to feel good about their job and their workplace before they can get busy and perform at their max.

2. Others have to have to first achieve super results in order to feel good about their jobs.

It's a "Which comes first, the chicken or the egg?" phenomenon. I picked up on this some years ago during a stretch where I was diagnosing "performance issues" for a client.

My conclusion: Managers hadn't caught onto the validity of the two approaches to performance. Naturally, the "feel good first" people were perceived as weenie-like non-performers. However, they actually had a huge commitment to doing well. They just needed something else to help them be able to get there.

What was it? They wanted the managers to understand who they were and what made them tick. That went along way to having the "right feeling" about the job.

The second category of people wanted a scorecard. They weren't about to "feel" good until they checked off their tasks and accomplishments.

Target yourself and your people

1. Which approach most naturally fits you? Figure out what that means to the way you work and the way your work is managed. Then talk with your manager about your desire to excel and how you might use this natural preference to make that happen.

2. Managers: The next time you're in a meeting (or one-on-one), have an informal conversation about the two approaches. Let people talk about what comes first for them. You'll learn a lot about how to manage each person; and they'll get more of what they need in order to hit the top of the job satisfaction/high performance curve.

Do you come onto the work scene each day with one of these in the front of your mind? How does that play out for your job satisfaction and performance?

__________________________________

This post first ran in June, 2008. The issue of Workplace Happiness is still thriving across the entire range of social media and professional publications, so I thought a little "re-visit" might be worthwhile.

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Future Leaders: Do You Have These Three?

We say we want a mentor, a coach, a trusted advisor.

We want to grow and become more effective.

We ask for help. For "feedback."

This is what you need to make it a success:

The patience to listen, the humility to hear, and the courage to act.

Do you have all three?

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Influence Through Agreements

There's a misconception about influence that gets people into trouble. It's the idea that influence is a matter of "positional negotiation": one side lays out a case while the other counters with a stronger argument on a different position.

This is actually a kind of competition that most often ends in conflict. The one with the most power wins while the loser walks away filled with resentment.

Start Thinking "Partnership"

Influence has its roots in agreements. In order to genuinely persuade someone to pursue a certain course of action, there needs to be an agreement about what is to be done and by whom. When agreements serve the interests of both parties the chances of success multiply. Why? Because there is increased commitment, and commitment leads to the laying of  the strongest foundation of influence--relationship.

Six Self-Assessment Questions

The best place to start being influential is with yourself. The clearer you are about what's important, the easier it will be to work through an agreement, especially the parts where you need to explain calmly and clearly why you don't want to do certain things. You can start by asking yourself these before entering a situation:

• What do I want to achieve through this partnership?

• What does (s)he want from our relationship and especially from this situation?

• How can I meld these in some way to begin to create a framework for mutual satisfaction?

• What can I give up, if needed, that will not do anything to sacrifice my overall goal?

• What can (s)he offer that may not be obvious?

• What new options or solutions could serve our common purpose?

Finally, when you get together, do these:

• Look for shared interests

• Listen to each others' ideas, synthesize mutual goals 

• Work together and stay in touch to make sure you're both satisfied with how things are going. If not, start talking about what you can do differently to reach your mutual targets.

Which of these do you need to start doing to become more influential in your world?

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Leaders: Learn This

In a recent meeting, the question was asked, “What does it take to be effective at group facilitation?”

There are a number of facilitation "skills" in which people can receive training. But after thinking about it, I answered: “You have to be an active part of what's going on and be able to watch it from the outside at the same time.”

It's like acting in a theater production while sitting in the audience. You focus on the script that's being acted out while interacting with the other characters; you watch how it unfolds; then, offer direction and coaching based on the performance.


I think we short-change our managers when we don't make facilitation an integral part of management development.  Effective facilitation requires an unbelievably deep awareness of self, task and process. In fact, it's exhausting because it requires "being there."

This is exactly what we want to become as leaders: People who are engaged with what needs to happen while orchestrating how to make it happen.

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Feeling Stressed? Do Something.

Think about this:

In order to induce terror, you never have to actually commit the act. It is the unresolved possibility of terror that keeps one--or the world--in a state of fear and stress.

So it is with daily stress, on and off the job. Whatever is unresolved becomes a stressor. Carried to the extreme, inaction causes us to, in effect, terrorize ourselves. And others. So:

Have you been putting off asking for or giving feedback at work?

• If you're a manager, you have thoughts about people's performance that you are carrying around. And they are building up.

• Your employees don't know how they're doing. And the first thing we humans do in the absence of truthful information is fantasize about it--negatively.
  
  
• Do something now. Feel the relief that follows.

What is reappearing on your to-do list that's giving you second thoughts about yourself?

• Do something now. Feel the relief that follows.

Who has been waiting for a decision from you?

• Do something now. Feel the relief that follows.

You and I have more control over our stress than we sometimes care to acknowledge. Why terrorize yourself when you can get relief by taking even one definitive action toward a tick mark on your checklist?

Each step you take brings an additional sense of relief.  

______________________________________________

But there's more!

Online friend Mark Harbeke of Winning Workplaces added this resource from J. Alex Sherrer of Project Management Road Trip®. It's a terrific paper on Combating Workplace Negativity. Let's face it: negativity breeds stress and knowing how to counteract negativity offers value to all of us. Thanks, Mark and Alex.

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Four Ways To Gain Support

"One of the best ways to persuade others is by listening to them."

    --Dean Rusk, former U.S. Secretary of State

Just Pay Attention To Me sparked a stream of comments. Most focused on how simple it is to talk with other people yet how difficult it continues to seem for many managers. Check out the thoughts and add your own to the mix.

Getting Attention to Gain Support

Managerial attentiveness is certainly high on the list of employee wants/needs.

But how about when it's time to gain support for your idea or program? Managers at all levels will give you their attention if you understand how to legitimately capture it. Here are four ways to diagnose listener preferences and deliver your message. (It's often helpful to be able to sort and classify).

1. The "Trend-Chaser": Help Them Follow The Fad

These folks pay attention to what others are doing. Perhaps they need to feel like they "belong"; maybe it's just a matter of not thinking too much. Who knows? It doesn't make any difference. You need to provide social proof--testimonials--of what other people think about your ideas.

Use these phrases:

"The benchmarking companies have implemented . . ."

"The top experts in (name the appropriate field) have just written that. . ."

"Statistical trends now show that. . ."

2. The Analytical: Facts and Stats

Even though we know for a fact that people decide based on emotion, these people need to hear supporting evidence. And you'll be questioned on it, so be prepared. They won't go to a fast food outlet without seeing which one has the "best" value meal: $1.00, $.99, or $1.03. Why? One reason is that they want to be confident that they can give a "logical" answer should someone ask them. So, give them the confidence with facts and figures. Quantify everything.

3. I Love A Challenge!: Overcome Obstacles

Routine bores this group. When the sun rises, they're ready to assault a mountaintop. When they hear that something can't be done, it energizes them to prove otherwise. So, tell them:

• The system doesn't work

• It's too late too change (or too early)

• They can't afford to do what will really make a difference

Watch them leap into action when you present your ideas as barriers to be overpowered. 

4. What's the Payoff? Incentives & Rewards

Here's the group that examines the benefits of your idea, both organizational and personal. They want to improve their situation every day. Show them "how to".

• How to increase profitability

• How to reduce conflicts

• How to be more effective at managing

• How to leapfrog their career

These are the Four Biggies that I see regularly. If you have experiences that show another category with descriptions, weigh in with a comment!

______________________________________

Recommendation: Ryan Williams writes Listen To Lead and offered the a helpful resource in the comments on Just Pay Attention To Me. Thanks, Ryan. He doesn't post very regularly but has substance when he does. And, you can follow him on Twitter: @willy26.

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Just Pay Attention To Me

In the 1920s, physiologist Elton Mayo conducted experiments at the Hawthorne Electrical Works in Chicago.

He was trying to confirm his theory that better lighting led to greater productivity. So, he had the lights on the factory floor turned up. Voila! As he expected, production levels increased, too. Done deal?

As an afterthought he decided to turn the lights down just to see what would happen. Production went up again. In fact, he found that whatever he did with the lighting, production increased.

Novel thought: Mayo discussed his findings with the workers who were involved. They told him that the interest Mayo and his researchers showed toward them made them feel more valued. They were accustomed to being ignored.

While the increased lighting no doubt made things brighter and healthier, it was the increase in morale that most impacted improvement in productivity. This became known as the Hawthorne Effect. 

Most people schooled in management & organization development are well aware of the studies.  However, I'm finding more and more business folks who haven't been exposed to them; I thought it might be a good idea to revisit what is the beginning of the "human relations"  movement in management.

While scientists and pseudo-scientists have argued everything from methodology to the number of toilet breaks employees of that era received, the simple learning is this: When you pay attention to people, tell them what you are doing, and ask their opinion about things, the response--all else being equal--is a boost in morale and productivity. I dare say that Elton had stumbled upon Employee Engagement long before the term became popular.

I'm wondering: after 80+ years, why isn't this fundamental learning a part of every organization's modus operandi?

photo source: www.library.hbs.edu

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Want To Be Real? Start Subtracting

Most career inventories and branding activities are additive. They ask you to identify success factors by adding up your talents, hopes, and goals. That's part of the process.

One of the desirable ingredients for personal and business success that we constantly hear shouted from the rooftops is "authenticity" (being real). Fine. But in order to "get real" we first have to "get honest" about all of the things we are not. Authenticity is nothing more than a buzzword until we acknowledge:

1. What we think we should be--but we are not.

2. What someone else told us we should be-- but  we are not.

3. What we think others want to hear that we are-- but  we are not.

4. What we think we can become--but we know we cannot.

Let's face it: self-knowledge is a never-ending journey. Accurate self-knowledge makes it a healthier one.Part of that journey is humility. (Humility is not false modesty--false modesty is unauthentic). Humility is  the element of self-knowledge that frees you from carrying the heavy burden of "What I want you to think I am" and allows you to relax and be "Who I am."

Before you continue adding, do some subtraction. The answer will be authentic.

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It's Not The Feedback, It's What Follows

Finding out "how we're doing" is an important part of life, on and off the job.

360 degree feedback tools can be especially helpful when you want to know how you are doing in relation to your boss, your direct reports, and peers in the organization. I like 360's because they:

1. Let you see how others believe you are doing in specific areas that are important to on-the-job success

2. Provide a quick look at how each of your constituencies is experiencing you.

For example, your direct reports may be getting everything they need, while your peer group may tell you that they need something other than what they are getting now. So you know where to keep doing what you are doing now, and where to make some changes. That helps you prioritize things.

3. Offer the opportunity for a structured conversation.

When you want to talk about your performance it can be difficult to know just where to begin. The 360 process allows you to get specific feedback in specific categories. When you see the results, you can sit down and ask questions that address meaningful areas of work life. And, you are dealing with information already acknowledged as important by the different groups of respondents. It can be a lot easier discussing things that have already been generated--and therefore owned--by the people who are important to your success. You have a place to start--and isn't that sometimes the toughest part?

360: It's the Conversation That Matters

Raw data are just that. What's important is the "why" behind "what" was said. Without finding out the answers, you really don't have an accurate picture. Why not?

Always remember that feedback is more indicative of the sender than the recipient. Feedback says, "Here's what I think based on my expectations of you in these specific areas. The real payoff can come from discovering where you need to clarify or re-visit what's really expected and honestly discussing what's really possible. And, when people of goodwill have those kinds of discussions, it can lead to a quick boost in trust as well as new energy to move ahead.

Are you or your organization using 360 feedback? Then make sure there are conversations that follow. Without them, no one knows the real meaning of the data. With conversations, you stand to get an exponential payoff in understanding, trust, learning, and improved performance.

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5 Ways To Pay Attention: White Space for Your Life

Distraction is the new enemy of success. Everyone is consistently interrupted by emails, text messages, phone calls, and meetings--some called to discuss future meetings. That's not breaking news.

But the result of this may be something you hadn't realized: mental exhaustion followed by frustration. Why frustration? Because you never properly finish what you started.

How you focus your attention determines what you think about and ultimately do. Jumping from task to task isn't a sign of workplace excellence and productivity; it's an indicator that you may not being doing much of anything very well. 

Each of us has 100 percent of a time allotment. OK, so we'll divide our time between two projects, 50-50. But hey, we like Project X a little more than Project Y, so now it's a 65%-35% arrangement. Then, the boss comes in to discuss a new idea, someone from the family sends a text message, and the printer needs a new cartridge. Do the numbers.

White Space is a design concept most of us are familiar with. Good page layout allows for breathing room, or "white space", so the reader can attend to what's important. Doesn't it make sense to do the same for ourselves?

 Since All Things Workplace is about practical solutions, here are:

Five Ways To Create Personal White Space

1. Know your own priorities. Then, hold fast to them.

Yeah, you were expecting that one because you already know it's true. Why it's important is the key. When you have clear priorities and are in the habit of acting on them, other people notice. Then, when you take time to explain why you can't do something else at the moment, they're more likely to understand. 

2. Schedule Thinking Time. Put it on your calendar the same way you would anything else of importance. Why would you spend a day, week, or lifetime working at anything that's not a result of some purposeful reflection?

3. Start creating the habit of "Singletasking" vs "Multitasking. Tackle things in sequence and  complete each one--or reach some sensible break point-- before moving on to the next.

4. Manage distractions. Be clear with people: "I'm not always available." Turn off the mobile, Skype, Twitter, and email for set periods of time. Figure out how often you really have to check them in order to remain informed. 

5. Make "paying attention" a conscious part of your life and worklife. Observe how much of your time is being orchestrated by you and how much is being pilfered by others. The very act of doing this will anger you just enough to do something about it. 

White Space is a design concept most of us are familiar with. Good page layout allows for breathing room, or "white space", so the reader can attend to what's important.

Thought for Today: Create some White Space for your work life.

If you're thinking along the same lines, you might also enjoy:

Leadership: When "No" Is More Important Than "Yes"

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The Paradox of Choices

The rallying cry of product managers and politicians is "Choices! We offer choices!"

My observation? 

We really don’t like having too many choices. It makes us a little nervous. Every option leads to a chance to foul something up. Heck, a lot of people are more worried about not being wrong than about being right. So, we allow our experiences and habits to narrow our options to just a couple of familiar ones. It reduces the anxiety and relieves stress.

So, how do you make genuine changes faced with the siren song of habits?

The first move is to re-capture your sense of conscious choice in place of habitual reactions.  This leads to new options and frees you up from repeating the mistakes that have risen from repetition.

Be aware: it's not a single event, but a way of life.

More Good Options Than You Think!

You can choose how to respond, regardless of the situation and circumstances. Here are some possibilities that can change your world today. None of the options is confusing and you have permission to pick just one to get started:

• Don’t take yourself too seriously. Try something new and different, and don't worry about getting it wrong. People who never made a mistake never made anything else.

• Caught up in your emotions? Over-enthusiasm, revenge, or frustration will each whisper lousy advice in your ear. Wait until they stop talking, chill out, and re-visit the decision.

• Listen longer before you respond to someone, at work or at home. The other person will feel more respected and you're just liable to see something from their viewpoint--in which case, you may end up in agreement. At the least, you'll learn something new.

• Eschew snap judgments. It's easy to take a stand; the workplace smiles upon "strong"people. But when it comes to who is right and who is wrong, a knee-jerk reaction can wreck relationships. Besides, do you like it when someone makes a judgment about you?

• Stop the self-talk about what you can’t do. Once you start doing that, you'll make it come true. Give your idea a try and see what happens. If it doesn't work, so what? Really. So what? If it does work, think about how you'll feel.

Now there's only one option: Will you choose to try doing something differently?"

_________________________________________

If this is something important to you, you'll also want to read:

Fear of Success and Lasting Change: Part 1

Fear of Success and Lasting Change: Part 2

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Five Signals You Should Make A Change

If you've ever wondered what executive coaches really do that's truly valuable, it's this: We create a relationship that enables people to clearly see reality.

Life isn't a part of business; business is a part of life. So, everything of consequence leads to confronting and resolving some kind of issue that leads to a choice about personal change. All of the choices aren't always huge, but they are necessary in order to develop more healthy and effective patterns of work and leadership.

What To Look For

I started thinking about the kinds of signs that flash to indicate the person across the table really does need to make a change. Maybe one or more apply to you as well. Here are five that stand out for me:

1. People whom you trust strongly believe you should make a change.

Let's be honest: sometimes other people see us more clearly than we see ourselves. Sure, it's important not to base your life on what others think. But if six people who have your best interests at heart all tell you the same thing, it's a good idea to pay attention.

Note: Last year an executive client who received almost unanimous feedback on certain behaviors chose to explain away every last one, attributing the information to the fact that "no one really understands me". Actually, they did. He is no longer working for that company.

2. You're holding on to something and just can’t let go.

It's happened to all of us: we have an incident or a nagging situation, and are then unable to forget about it. That's a signal that you just might want to make a change. If you  can’t accept the fact that your manager won't acknowledge your contributions, maybe it’s time to update your resume and put it into circulation. There are times when letting go requires real action, not just a mental exercise.

3. You feel envious of what other people have achieved.

This involves action, too. Jealousy can devour us from the inside out if we let it. At the same time, it can be a signal that we have some meaningful goals on which we've taken zero action. If you find yourself resentful of a colleague who recently earned a professional certification, maybe you should ask yourself what kinds of professional accreditations you've been putting off. That could be the springboard to an advanced degree or a special class in your particular discipline.

4. You deny any problem--and are angry in the process.

I do a lot of confidential, "remedial" coaching for people who have been accused of acting in a harrassing or hostile manner.

Anger is a common symptom of denial. (Assuming that the evidence is valid; otherwise, there's darned good reason to be angry).

One way to get through the whole denial thing is to look for--or help someone else see--an abundance of objective evidence. That's why, in business, 360 feedback is usually pretty effective. The truth will, indeed, set you free. It does, however, seem scary in the moment.

5. If you do absolutely nothing, the problem will continue.

Interpersonal "stuff" is common in the land of cube-dwellers.

Let's say your next-door cubie listens to news radio all day, and you are really tired of hearing  Traffic on the Twos. Perhaps if you just let her know it was getting in the way of your work, she'd get a set of earbuds. Or, maybe not. But nothing will happen unless you broach the issue in a calm way. And you'll know that you took action, which will give you an internal sense of honesty and integrity. That almost always leads to a better sense of self.

What else have you found that might be good indicators for managers, coaches, and anyone looking for signs to change?

If you are faced with changes, you might enjoy:

• Change: People Can Handle The Truth

• 5 Tips For Making Changes and Transitions

• Bring Your Emotional Awareness To Work

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Behavioral Change: Fun Theory Part 2

People love to have fun.

The comments, emails, and tweets about The Piano Stairs confirmed that folks would be much more inclined to change their behavior if there was some fun involved.

So, to reinforce the notion, here's Part 2. It involves a common dilemma: How do you get people to want to throw away their trash in public places and keep things nice and clean?

I give you: The World's Deepest Rubbish Bin

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"Communication" Doesn't Communicate

How many workplace issues are introduced to you as, "We've got a communication problem?"

Communication is a catch-all phrase. It's  generic, socially acceptable, and really just sends the signal that someone wants to start a conversation. But it probably won't end up being about communication.

Psychologists and counselors refer to these kinds of introductory pronouncements as "presenting" problems." They're  a call for help when someone doesn't know what to do or may not even be aware of the real issue.

Unless you know the genuine issue, you can spend a lot of time creating an elegant solution for the wrong problem.

In organizations, communication is the #1  presenting problem.

The next time someone lays a communication issue on you, follow through with:

"That sounds interesting. Help me out. Describe specifically what you see happening and why it's a problem."

You may discover that the Marketing group refused to follow guidelines from Research and ended up slightly misrepresenting a product.

You don't yet know the cause. But you do know the real situation and where to focus your energy.

How many presenting problems can you uncover today?

If you've got a favorite "presenting problem" story, toss it into the mix with a comment below. You may help someone else see how to probe and work on the right thing at the right time.

And if you enjoyed this post, you might also learn from: Use The Right Words At Work

How about When You Know The Words But Don't Understand the Meaning ? Jackie Cameron highlights a new communication challenge prompted by social media.

For those of us who do a lot of coaching and development of presentations, here's a treat from Steve Kayser on how he satisfied the corporate need to have 110 Slides in 5 Minutes. Really.

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Four Ways To Impact Learning

For leader, managers, and heads of projects, helping people learn is a critical contribution to both individual and organizational success. And even in tough times, employers know that job candidates are asking themselves the question, "What will I learn here?"

In between coaching sessions today I received an email request to teach an online class in January. That got my thinking about groups, learning, and design. While the final design will take into consideration more ways to impact learning, here are four that popped into mind.

Four Effects on Learning

Effect on Curiosity: For every action there's a reaction. When we say or do something, people want time to react to it, talk about it, and understand what it means to them.

Practical Application: Allow  time for questions and answers. The give-and-take after you speak is where people actually learn and where they begin to develop an affinity for, and commitment to, the topic. Even if you're an expert, the learning takes place as a result of people wrestling with the information or idea rather than being the recipients of a data dump--no matter how eloquent you may be.

Effect on self confidence: How you deliver and discuss the information impacts how people feel about learning it. People with position power--managers, supervisors, team leaders--all have the ability to build confidence in the learners or create a defensive atmosphere.

Practical Application: Tell the group at the outset that you value their questions and that you hope they'll jump in when they experience an "Aha!" or a "Help me, I don't get it." When someone asks a question, throw it back out to the group to give someone else a chance to form an answer that may be framed in a way different than your own. Thank people whenever they ask a question or offer an answer.

Effect on motivation: Even as youngsters, we knew who the teachers were who made learning exciting, interesting, and engaging. Why not be the "managerial version" of your best teacher. And remember this: Managers Are The Mediators of Motivation.

Practical Application: Take some time to develop questions and break people into groups to address them; if you're talking about a new marketing approach, give people a block of time to do a concept and present it to the group. You know the content. The time you spend designing the right approach will pay off in engaged learners and, ultimately, effective learning.

Effect on Creativity: Unless you're involved in safety procedures, accounting rules, or a regulatory issue, people want to be able to offer their own "variation on a theme." One of the reasons to bring people together is to capitalize on the collective creativity and varying viewpoints in the room.

Practical Application: Give people latitude to take the discussion in directions that you never thought of. Remember, you're in charge--but to try to be in control will shut down the kind of learning that the group--and you--have an opportunity to experience.

Bonus: When the noise level goes up and people start debating, discussing, and delving into the topic, you've been successful. Let it go until the energy begins to die down. Then, capture the points that they were making with their co-workers and discuss next steps. When learners sit passively, you may feel more relaxed because you feel in control not having to respond to questions or manage the group. What it may really mean is that they aren't engaged, aren't learning, and are waiting "until the bell rings" so they can go back to their workspace.

How about offering up some of your own experiences and some tips for the community?

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What About Self-Deception At Work?

You know about this.

You're at work and Jerry in Marketing is a pain in the butt. Jerry got 87 pieces of 360 feedback that told him he is a pain in the butt. What does Jerry say?

"I am committed to my belief system."

In Jerry's case, that appears to be some secret code phrase for "Regardless of what you show me, I will ignore your evidence and bless you with my unbending wonderfulness."

When asked about the 87 pieces of consistent feedback, Jerry laments that he is misunderstood. By 87 people. All the time.

The Truth About Self-Deception

Thankfully, WE aren't like Jerry. Or are we?

The folks at one of my faves, PsyBlog, tell us:

". . .it's not hard to spot the tell-tale symptoms of self-deception in other people. So perhaps we are also deceiving ourselves in ways we can't clearly perceive? But is that really possible and would we really believe the lies that we 'told' ourselves anyway? That's what Quattrone & Tversky (1984) explored in a classic social psychology experiment published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology."

If you want to understand more about the ease of self-deception, read The Truth About Self-Deception.

The conclusion:

"This experiment is neat because it shows the different gradations of self-deception, all the way up to its purest form, in which people manage to trick themselves hook, line and sinker. At this level people think and act as though their incorrect belief is completely true, totally disregarding any incoming hints from reality."

Now, send the link to Jerry in Marketing. (I kept one for myself, too).
__________________________________

Suggestion from Dr. Peter Vajda at SpiritHeart:

"Some folks might also want to read the Arbinger Institute's book, Leadership and Self Deception. For folks who think, "How can I be (part of) the problem - at work, a home, at play and in relationship - this is an eye-opening, tug-on-the-sleeve journey to self awareness.

The real problem with self deception is that, being "blind" to the truth, none of the solutions we bring to the table ever work. How could they?

When we blame, we blame because of ourselves, not because of others - the crux of self-deception - a harsh reality to explore for many. If we stare into that mirror long enough, we'll see its true reflection."

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You Feel How? Why?

 
How do you feel about your life: Bitter or Better?

Your answer will color everything about your existence. At home, at work, with friends.

Stephen Shapiro, author of  Goal Free Living, described a common life situation a while back in a post called The One-Third Life Crisis. It's about a successful (by any achievement-oriented social standards) guy who is a 33 year-old Harvard grad, pilot, board member, etc. But at 33 he described his life this way to Stephen:

Do well at Step A and you can proceed to Step B. Do well at B, and proceed to C. As I look back at my life so far, I realize that I was playing by a very narrow set of rules. And if I played by those rules, worked hard, and caught a lucky break or two, I’d be rewarded with plenty of wealth and prestige.

And that worked okay…for a while…until I began to have nagging doubts. “The Path” began to feel just a bit too narrow. I felt that I was always trying to do well in life in order to move to the next step. As a result, I had completely lost the ability to live in the moment or to appreciate success for success’ sake. And failure? Well, that wasn’t even an option. Most insidiously, I began looking at the people in my life only as potential allies (or, gasp, even pawns) in my quest to keep plugging along down The Path.

And here’s the worst part. I had completely lost my sense of risk, creativity, and wonder. So I felt that even if I wanted to get off The Path, I was woefully and utterly ill-equipped to navigate on my own. That’s the essence of the one-third life crisis.

What Are You Experiencing at 30? Or 40 or 50 or 60?

This isn't at all unusual. In fact, I became so fascinated by it that about 10 years ago I started looking into research that might produce a plausible, helpful explanation. This was prompted by what I noticed were increasing requests from successful 30-somethings within my client organizations who were expressing dissatisfaction with their circumstances. The stories were similar:

1. I'm not happy

2. I should be happy because I have a good job, make good money, home life is good; I've done everything I was supposed to do.

3. So why I am I feeling unhappy and stressed out?

Until About 30, You Don't Have to be You

Why?

Because you've got enough energy to do just about anything. And people let you.

Physiologically, you're on a roll. Psychologically, you're starting a career and a life. And guess what? Everyone around you will let you do your thing. Your family understands this. They allow you to "get your career started." Your boss loves this. And you are able to put in 60 or 80 hours a week at being really good at what you do. And you are probably doing pretty well. Heck, why not? Your sheer energy and time is compensating for a lack of genuine passion or talent. So if "it" isn't what you were meant to do--or consistent with who you are--you can't fake it forever (you don't know you're faking it. You are doing what you think people are supposed to do). At +/- 30 your energy begins to drop a bit. And you start asking questions about it. And you should.

Because growing up means being--and accepting--who you are. It's the only way you'll stay in the game and be happy about it. I've found that the most difficult--but most rewarding--thing that I've done personally is to answer this question:

"What are all of the things I think I am--but am not?" These resulted in a looonnngggg list of answers that combined bloated self-perception with lots of expectations from other people. Do it. It's a huge relief to get rid of the baggage.

Then change the question from "What could I do as a career?" to these three:

1. "What do I really value and see as priorities in my life?"

2. "What are my natural talents and how can I use them to support #1?

3. "What specific skills do I have--or need to get--that help support #2?"

If you get honest about 1, acknowledge 2 as not being boastful--but a gift--and use 3 in the service of the first two, you'll be back in the game.

And just in case math is your strong suit: draw a Venn diagram of Values, Talents, and Skills. The place where the three intersect is the actual "you." (You're welcome).

55: Bitter or Better?

A final observation.

Somewhere around the age of 55 people--and I see it mostly in men--decide to be either "Bitter" or "Better" about life. It's a choice. But it appears to be a choice based upon evaluating one's circumstances against one's expectations of how life should be (or should have been).

The distinction usually lies in a choice that was made to:

Live as one's self, and therefore feel better. There is only one standard and it will always be met.

Live according to others' expectations and one's definition of how things "should" be. This leads to a bitter outcome.

So what about our searching friend in the beginning of the post? It sounds as if he is choosing to ask the right questions at the right time. And he even has a group of trusted advisors to guide him and keep him accountable.

I'm guessing "better."

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Real Leaders Can Tell You About It

"Most people who want to get ahead do it backward. They think, 'I'll get a bigger job, then I'll learn how to be a leader.' But showing leadership skill is how you get the bigger job in the first place. Leadership isn't a position, it's a process."
    - John C. Maxwell

Last week I was blogging--actually, tweeting non-stop--from the World Business Forum 2009 organized by HSM Global. The roster and quality of speakers ranged from former Medtronic CEO Bill George to Kraft's Irene Rosenfeld, from movie magnate George Lucas to Nobel Economist Paul Krugman, billionaire entrepreneur T. Boone Pickens and former U.S. President Bill Clinton. Sprinkled in the mix to add a touch of leadership education were Patrick Lencioni on teamwork, Gary Hamel's strategic innovation, and Saatchi & Saatchi's Kevin Roberts talking about marketing and "lovemarks" (Google that one). Hats off to HSM Global and the speakers--everything was on time, ran just the right amount of time, and was in tune with the times.

I was aware of some consistent personal feelings throughout:

a. If a speaker had accomplished something by leading, I gave more credibility to what was said. Makes sense, no?

b. No matter how good a speaker/presenter guru you are, if you talk about leadership but have no hands-on credentials, I may agree with what you say but you really don't add much except intellectual entertainment (if you are good). I also learned that, sandwiched between some heavy duty achievers, that's not a bad thing. But I didn't learn anything "about" leading that I didn't already know.

c. Speakers who use the term "transparency" and "authenticity" in every third sentence don't convey either of those characteristics. Because:

d. Transparency and authenticity are conveyed by relating specific, personal stories that form the foundation for what the speaker has learned through success and failure. The most credible speakers (for me) were the ones who never used the buzzwords. They didn't need to.

Do you have any genuine leadership stories to tell based on failures, successes, and what you learned? If so, there are people who can learn from you.

______________________________

Big "thank you" to HSM's Kelsey Woods for a first-class job organizing the Bloggers' Hub and making sure everyone was informed all along the way.

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Coaching? Three Choices To Consider

If you're in a corporate setting there are three types of coaching to consider.

This brain blip occurred as I was exchanging emails about probing questions, a discussion that's been ongoing here as well as in a section of the Coaching For Managers eGuide.

It's important to understand the distinctions between the three in order to have a basis for a good diagnosis and, as a result, the right prescription.

Skills Coaching: Is the issue about specific skills such as selling, presenting, dealing with customers, handling media inquiries etc.? If so, the solution will have a training element involved. The coach will need content expertise to train in skill-building while coaching to ensure the agreed level of proficiency. This isn't a situation where a series of reflective questions are helpful. After all, the person being coached doesn't know what (s)he doesn't know.

Performance Coaching: This is what we usually see when it's time to help improve someone's performance in a current organizational role. Often, the desired improvement comes as a result of a 360-degree feedback process or a team building session. Performance Coaching is normally equated with acquiring or sharpening specific behaviors or eliminating others that are inhibiting effectiveness. Questioning is an integral part of the process and may be supplemented with suggestions such as, "Here are two or three ways you could approach this."

Developmental Coaching: Reflective learning is the order of the day here. The objective is to enable the client/executive to gain increased self-perspective and awareness, especially when it comes to leadership activities in the organization. Developmental coaching may, quite literally, consist only of questions. It's the responsibility of the one being coached to connect the heart and mind; then, examine themselves in the context of the organizational systems and their relationships to and with them.

For managers and professionals involved in development, it's a good idea to have a quick way to determine the level--and kind--of coaching support that will be most effective.

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Coaching for Managers eBook: Coming Today

It started with Management: The Coaching Way, a follow-up to our HR.Com webcast where I discussed how to help managers become more comfortable--and skilled--as coaches.

Then Great Leadership's Dan McCarthy asked one of his dead-on questions that led to Managers Who Coach Ask Questions That Enlighten.

This generated  suggested "questions that enlighten" from managers and coaches who we're fortunate to count as part of the All Things Workplace community.

So, when our highly-valued in-house digital guru Coder Geek Boy throws the binary switch, you'll be able to download--courtesy of All Things Workplace and steveroesler.com--"Coaching Managers Who Coach".

If you are an executive who wants to build a cadre of internal coaches; an HR pro who is looking for ways to add even more value to your internal clients; or a manager ready to coach, you'll find context, tips, and resources that work.

You'll also have the benefit of some tried and true coaching questions from these professional practitioners:

Rodney Johnson, author of Without Warning: Breakthrough Strategies for Solving the Silent Problems Taking Aim at Your Organization

Learning executive Angie Chaplin

HR pro and coaching authority Joan Schramm

Dan Erwin, Performance Improvement expert and writer

Coaching expert in career alternatives, Camille Macchio, and. . .

Francis Lewis weighing in from the UK 

Thanks to everyone who contributed.

What time is the launch? As soon as Coder Geek Boy gives the thumbs up, we'll Tweet the word via http://twitter.com/steveroesler

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Choices, Expectations, and Happines

Unmet expectations and the Chicken Little Effect

Isn't that what really lies underneath many of the alleged workplace "issues?"

Not unlike newspapers and TV, actual online headlines scream out:

"Businesses Must Close the Disengagement Gap"

"Six Fatal Flaws of Employee Compensation Programs"

"Managers Fail to Live Up to Expectations"

Each of these implies that there is some "way of being" that has been denied. That there is a huge chasm between "What is" and "What Should Be." That you and I are somehow being short-changed and we shouldn't put up with it any longer.

Closer examination will show that many of those headlines are generated on sites and blogs written by businesses that provide services in Employee Engagement, Compensation, and Management Training.

I'm all for improving one's condition in life. To do so, we have to have an accurate assessment of What Is Actually Possible, What Is Actually Probable, and What We're Willing To Do in all of this.

So I think an important question is:

Who Are We Allowing to Influence Our Expectations?

Rowan Manahan brings a wealth of experience to the world of career management. He sees--and has seen--a lot. A while back Rowan was interviewed by Ireland's Evening Herald about career expectations.

He noted that some parents, in a misguided quest to "build self-esteem," actually produce a houseful of "Little Emperors." Then, he sees this at college graduation/employment time:

Graduates, Manahan says, have hopelessly unrealistic expectations of what any job will entail. “They think the world is a simple meritocracy, and they believe that their talent will out,” he says. “They think teams are collaborative and co-operative. They are convinced that they will have it all. Work comes as a huge culture shock.

So now we've got two undeniably powerful influences on expectations: Parents and Media. If either or both of those is inaccurate--regardless of the generation--it's understandable how any individual or group expectation can become skewed.

What Do You Expect and Why?

This is a reasonable and potentially life-changing question that can lead you to a genuine breakthrough, especially if you are feeling inexplicably discontented.

It took me nearly a lifetime to understand this about work:

The overarching concern of profit-making companies is to make a profit. They may genuinely want to be "people-oriented," "socially-conscious," and collaborative. But profits are the corporate equivalent of the blood running through human veins. No blood? Death.

When you and I start bleeding, we don't care (primarily) what the ER folks do as long as they stop it and keep us alive. When corporations start bleeding, they don't care (primarily) about what it takes to sustain life and live another day. That's why some folks are laid off and find themselves hired back 6 months later. Expecting that companies run by humans will behave in an other-than-human way under threat and duress is an unrealistic expectation.

It may feel inhumane; but the stimulus-response is quite human and, therefore, to be expected.

Do this:

If you woke up this morning alive and with the prospect of a full day ahead, you were presented with a canvas on which to paint your life. And, some expectations to go with it.

Did someone else somehow start filling in the space without consulting you first? If so, you'll be completing someone else's painting. Sooner or later you'll become frustrated and may not know why.

Monday is upon us. What a perfect time to reflect and ask, "What do I really expect--and why do I expect it?"

The rest of the week may prove a lot more satisfying as a result.

 

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The Two Patricks

Steve is taking some time off through September 8th.  In the meantime, four very different and talented writers/leaders will add their unique backgrounds to All Things Workplace.

Today: Becky Robinson, the voice of Mountain State University’s LeaderTalk and active connector of leadership discussions via @LeaderTalk.

This spring, Patrick Yoes fulfilled a lifelong goal, completing his bachelor's degree.

To do it, he enlisted the help of a friend, longtime colleague Patrick Beard. They had attended school together before, completing an associate degree in criminal justice. To complete their bachelor's degrees, they joined a cohort of students in Mountain State University's Bachelor of Science/Organizational Leadership program.

Each man knew he would need the support and encouragement of the other. They had certainly faced more difficult challenges together: both in day to day situations, at the St. Charles Parish Sherriff's department and in times of crisis. In 2005, both served as first responders to Hurricane Katrina. Working side by side, they helped lead efforts in their community to maintain order and provide services to people in need.

Before entering MSU's leadership program, Yoes learned his leadership skills at "The University of Day to Day Operations." His leadership style was developed intuitively over time by working with people. His studies at Mountain State gave him the opportunity to dissect his leadership practices and to understand himself and his strengths more completely. This new knowlege helped him to learn ways of leading others more effectively.

The two Patricks met together regularly during their studies. Over coffee, they shared insights and questions from the readings and discussed class projects. Whenever one got discouraged about the hard work of completing a degree while managing work and other commitments, the other would encourage him to keep going.

Now Patrick Yoes continues to share his knowledge with others, by teaching a class in organizational leadership to members of the National Fraternal Order of Police.

A few lessons from the two Patricks:

• It's never too late to complete your degree.

Patrick Yoes worked in law enforcement for nearly 25 years before finishing his degree, gaining valuable life experiences that he could reflect on and integrate into his studies.

• Life experiences count.

Mountain State's leadership programs give college credit for documented training/life experiences.

• Stick together.

It always helps to bring someone along with you when you are attempting something new. The two Patricks stayed strong with their studies because they had each other for encouragement.

• Share what you've learned with others.

Yoes tells the students in his leadership classes that they have two choices about what they can do with their knowledge: they can use it for themselves, or they can share it with others. By sharing what we know about leadership with others, we increase our influence and empower others to lead.

I am sharing more inspiration from Patrick Yoes today at the LeaderTalk blog, including a chance to win Chest Deep and Rising Yoes' first-hand account of his experiences during Hurricane Katrina. Be sure to join me there and leave a comment for your chance to win the book.

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Disengage to Engage: The Hummingbird Principle

In business, we're all about action and movement. 

I got up this morning and, for the first time in recent memory, was totally overwhelmed by what was on the calendar/to-do list. My first instinct was to shout "54-40 or Fight" or maybe"Tippecanoe and Tyler, Too" and attack with a vengeance. But there was just no energy to do anything on the task list.

So, I did what most of us would consider a weenie cop-out: nothing. Zero.

Sat on the back deck, sipped coffee, thought about. . .nothing. From 6 am until noon. Instead, I watched. . .

. . .this collage of Creation taking place in the midst of our busyness.

All of this unfolded across my backyard, bit by bit, while I was doing nothing. The most effort exerted by me was "focus and click". 

I was most smitten by the hummingbird (see orange arrow, lower left). In order to get him to the feeder, we simply need to add  sugar to water to engage him. Plenty of water but no sugar: no hummingbird. A little sweetness goes a long way, even in the animal kingdom. He also fascinated me by the way his little wings buzzed at hyper-speed while his body remained completely still, all the time suspended in air.

Which leads me to wonder: Do we have to be seen as "in motion" at every moment in order to be considered alive, well and productive?

Oh, yeah. The deer did eat our flowers. Today, I didn't care.

 

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Managers Who Coach: Think About Your Best Teacher

OK, so I'm trying every way possible to convince managers that coaching will help their own performance (nothing better than learning by teaching), their careers, their group's productivity, and their own sense of satisfaction.

Today's unabashed approach: Channel Your Best Teacher

Note: If it was Shirley MacLaine, you can stop reading this now and go here where Shirley would love to hear stories about your UFO sightings as well as Fur People. 

What Did Those Darned Good Teachers Do?

I'll bet that each of your best teachers somehow found a way to connect with your needs and interests. And they weren't all alike, with different styles and idiosyncrasies.

But they all had one big thing in common:

The ability to reach you. And we all want to be reached.

What did they really do? The best teachers helped you discover, then celebrate it with you. That's a lot different than telling people to sit still, listen, take notes, memorize, then regurgitate it all on a test.

Your best teachers were coaches.

What's the Secret?

By its very nature, coaching is personal and tailored to the uniqueness of each student (employee); a prescription, if you will, for  healthy growth.

Coaches are teachers (managers) who know their material well and their employees even better. How do they do that? They understand an employee's grasp of a task or issue because they've watched, asked questions, and listened.

And employees will actually make it easy for you.

How do I know?

Two reasons:

1. I coach a lot. It's about diagnosis, clarity of goals, asking the probing questions and listening in order to understand. Once you finally understand something, that kind of clarity produces possibilities that seem to jump up and down yelling, "Choose me, choose me!"

2. Research. The folks at Blessing-White did an in-depth, global study on coaching that showed:

• When managers think about coaching they worry about "having all the answers".

• When employees think about being coached, they don't want advice. They want to be stretched and want help sorting through problems. Their most important criterion? It's simply a trusting, supporting relationship.

Every recent study of job-seekers shows that candidates and new hires want to learn and expect to be developed. If you want to make your organization or team a better, more desirable, more positive, and more productive place to work, start by becoming the teacher (coach) who helped you be where you are today.

Your management legacy will be the result of your coaching commitment.

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Just When You Thought It Was Safe To Go Out. . .

The training cults are back, getting media coverage and being embraced by morally bankrupt "leaders" who are willing to trade the promise of results for employee dignity and respect. Some people will jump at any promise without consideration for the details, the methodology, and the human consequences of the intervention.

This post was prompted by two things:

a. Contact from my friend Alex Kjerulf, The Chief Happiness Officer, who received an email that "chilled my blood when I read it".

Got my attention. After all, Alex is The Chief Happiness Officer.

The email Alex received included a link to a somewhat-dated Fast Company article about one Fernando Flores and his approach to "open, honest" communication being peddled to, and bought by, corporations. Read the entire article.

Flores' approach, among other things, is for "honest feedback" in the form of the following (these are examples from a person whose company pays for this training and which the contributor claims are accurate). I am using the information verbatim--with some fill-in-the-blanks-- so that you can get a genuine look at the kind of "openness" this mode would espouse:

• “You talk about things that you know nothing about so people think you are a bull_ _ _tter!!”
• “You are not telling me a good story about what you are doing…you are incompetent”
• You have no skills…you are fu_ _ed up when you leave here”

Note that the "feedback" attacks the very worth of the individual. This is a psychological tactic designed to ultimately create dependency on "he who is worthy." This leads to the ability to control.

b. After reading the content and link to the email, I was immediately reminded of a situation at AT&T.

Let's Look Up "Lawyers" In The Yellow Pages

Immediately following divestiture in 1984, it was my role to lead the change efforts at AT&T Information Systems and part of Western Electric.

One day, my client--the VP of the operation--called me into his office. He was disturbed by a request he had received from an employee who had attended a weekend retreat and immediately went to the VP's office on Monday morning to insist that everyone needed "this." The VP had an uneasy feeling and asked me to look into it. I did.

It turned out that the retreat was a personal growth "experience" conducted by the then-latest iteration of the Werner Erhard organization. Erhard (born John Paul Rosenberg) was the founder of 'est'. If you click on the link on his name it would be worthwhile reading it--and this--from beginning to end.

My client firmly refused to become involved following my report to him. We continued to be approached not only by the permanently-smiling employee, but via telephone by other devotees recruited to recruit us.

We were fortunate.

The folks out at the then newly-formed Pacific Bell bought in. By the time the dust settled from the $100 million dollars (you read it correctly) spent on "employee training", PacBell was awash in employee lawsuits as well as suits and countersuits with the Erhard people.

And The Connection Is. . .?

Back to Flores.

He has been a follower and student of Erhard since 1971. Erhard financed Flores' first "personal growth" business venture.

Companies and organizations need to be especially discerning when it comes to subjecting employees to any outside training influences whose foundations are to alter reality. That is what, in part, this approach is all about. Combining attractive--but unspecific--words such as transformation, change, growth with feedback, honesty, and openness sounds like motherhood and apple pie (apologies to our readers outside of the U.S). Employees are vulnerable in situations supported by senior executives whose job is, in great part, to build people up as well as ensure their safety in the workplace.

Buying into any activity that tears people down, demeans, and disrespects them in the name of "honesty" shows a lack of wisdom and discernment at best and, at worst, a willingness to trade off the health and well-being of employees for a promise of quick results. If you haven't yet been exposed to these tactics masquerading as "development", be alert. In difficult times humans are especially susceptible to promises of deliverance.

Here's a quick and easy test.

Let's say your mother decides to stop by and cook dinner for you and your spouse. It was made with love but really wasn't all that tasty. So you show her how enlightened you are in order to create an even closer, more trusting relationship that will help you truly bond:

"Well, Mom, you have no skills…and you are fu_ _ed up when you leave here.”

I didn't think you would.

_______________________

Alex, The CHO, has posted his thoughts here.

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Four Ways to Help People Learn

More and more, job candidates ask the question "What will I learn here?"

If they don't like the answer, chances are they'll keep looking.

For leaders, managers, and heads of projects, helping people learn is a critical contribution to both individual and organizational success.

We often know what we should be doing and what works. So, here are four quick reminders about learning that can make a difference.

Four To Remember

1. Arouse Curiosity. For every action there's a reaction. When we say or do something, people want time to react to it, talk about it, and understand what it means to them.

Practical Application: Allow  time for questions and answers. The give-and-take after you speak is where people actually learn and where they begin to develop an affinity for, and commitment to, the topic. Even if you're an expert, the learning takes place as a result of people wrestling with the information or idea rather than being the recipients of a data dump--no matter how eloquent you may be.

2. Build self-confidence. How you deliver and discuss the information impacts how people feel about learning it. People with position power--managers, supervisors, team leaders--all have the ability to build confidence in the learners or create a defensive atmosphere.

Practical Application: Tell the group at the outset that you value their questions and that you hope they'll jump in when they experience an "Aha!" or a "Help me, I don't get it." When someone asks a question, throw it back out to the group to give someone else a chance to form an answer that may be framed in a way different than your own. Thank people whenever they ask a question or offer an answer.

3. Involve! Even as youngsters, we knew who the teachers were who made learning exciting, interesting, and engaging. Why not be the "managerial version" of your best teacher. And remember this: Managers Are The Mediators of Motivation.

Practical Application: Take some time to develop questions and put people into groups to address them; if you're talking about a new marketing approach, give people a block of time to do a concept and present it to the group. The time you spend designing their activities will pay off in engaged learners and, ultimately, real learning.

4. Make Room For the 'New'. Unless you're involved in safety procedures, accounting rules, or a regulatory issue, people want to be able to offer their own "variation on a theme." One of the reasons to bring people together is to capitalize on the collective creativity and varying viewpoints in the room.

Practical Application: Give people latitude to take the discussion in directions that you never thought of. Remember, you're in charge--but to try to be in control will shut down the kind of learning that the group--and you--have an opportunity to experience.

When the noise level goes up and people start debating, discussing, and delving into the topic, you've been successful. Let it go until the energy begins to die down. Then, capture the points that they were making with their co-workers and discuss next steps. When learners sit passively, you may feel more relaxed because you feel in control not having to respond to questions or manage the group. What it may really mean is that they aren't engaged, aren't learning, and are waiting "until the bell rings" so they can go back to their workspace.

How about offering up some of your own experiences and some tips for the community?

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What Happens When Managers Coach?

You may already have the right people to enable your company to "win"--however you define the word.

A couple of years ago I was involved in designing a leadership program to develop the top talent in a global company. We created a model that used the senior management team as coaches for the structured learning activities. First we coached the coaches on how to coach; then we turned them loose. It's been the most effective learning we've experienced in nearly 30 years of leadership development and design.

What's happening that works?

• The top leadership learns a lot about their own abilities.

• They learn about their people while developing closer relationships with them.

• The high potential participants receive coaching and company insight from the leaders who know it best.

• The participants also "step up" their game. How often do you see the top leadership in a company totally dedicate two full days to the talent beneath them?

You Can Do It, Too

Managers are the natural lighting rods for developing talent. Coaching isn't another job--it is their job.

Companies are always looking for ways to develop people economically but effectively. Every research study on the planet shows that employees are most influenced--pro or con--by their immediate boss. That's exactly why managers at every level have the ability to make the most difference when it comes to grooming people for the future.

The mission: Give them the capability.

Three things managers can start now:

Appreciate: Focus on identifying the very best in others.

Encounter:  Seek the truth, wherever that path will lead.

Improve: Insist upon personal responsibility for performance growth.

When managers coach, we get "two personal bests" for the price of one.

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Ten Business Lessons Learned

The messages here are right on target.

There is a bonus 11th lesson: having a clear message and displaying it with thoughtful simplicity engages the reader or listener and makes it easy for them to absorb details.

This is what makes a visit to David Zinger's  Employee Engagement Network  (@DavidZinger on Twitter) a must.

10 Business Lessons Learned

View more presentations from rfashing.

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Managing Yourself

Unlike Wally Bock, I never met Peter Drucker.

Yet he has made a huge difference in my life (as has Wally).  I'm discovering that although a generation of managers were raised on Drucker's wisdom and insight and benefited as a result, many who are new to supervision are unfamiliar with the depth and applicability of his work. In the March-April 1999 issue of the Harvard Business Review, Drucker did an article titled "Managing Oneself".  It's only about a dozen pages and there was a reprint in  2005.

Here is a sampling that I hope will move you to seek out more of his writing and teaching:

For the strengths-based among you:

Excellence

One should waste as little effort as possible on improving areas of low competence.  It takes far more energy and work to improve from incompetence to mediocrity than it takes to improve from first-rate performance to excellence.  And yet most people--especially most teachers and most organizations--concentrate on making incompetent performers into mediocre ones.  Energy, resources, and time should go instead into making a competent person into a star performer.
___________________________________

Feeling unsettled about a "final" career decision?

Careers

Most people, especially highly gifted people, do not really know where they belong until they are well past their mid-twenties.  By that time, however, they should know the answers to the three questions: What are my strengths?  How do I perform?  and, What are my values?  And then they can and should decide where they belong.

Or rather, they should be able to decide where they do not belong...

Equally important, knowing the answers to these questions enables a person to say to an opportunity, an offer, or an assignment, "Yes, I will do that.  But this is the way I should be doing it.  This is the way it should be structured.  This is the way the relationships should be.  These are the kind of results you should expect from me, and in this time frame, because this is who I am."

Successful careers are not planned.  They develop when people are prepared for opportunities because they know their strengths, their method of work, and their values.
__________________________________

Midlife crisis or boredom?

Second Careers

We hear a great deal of talk about the midlife crisis of the executive.  It is mostly boredom.  At 45, most executives have reached the peak of their business careers, and they know it.  After 20 years of doing very much the same kind of work, they are very good at their jobs.  But they are not learning or contributing or deriving challenge and satisfaction from the job... That is why managing oneself increasingly leads one to begin a second career (typically by moving from one kind of organization to another; by developing a parellel career, often in a nonprofit; or by starting a new venture, again often a nonprofit).

No one can expect to live very long without experiencing a serious setback in his or her life or work... At such times, a second major interest--not just a hobby--may make all the difference.

In a knowledge society we expect everybody to be a success.  This is clearly an impossibility.  For a great many people, there is at best an absence of failure.  Wherever there is success, there has to be failure.  And then it is vitally important for the individual, and equally for the individual's family, to have an area in which he or she can contribute, make a difference, and be somebody.  That means finding a second area--whether in a second career, a parallel career, or a social venture--that offers an opportunity for being a leader, for being respected, for being a success.
_________________________

Peter Drucker's starting point for successful management was successful self-management. Why not pause and have a look in the mirror before we stick our heads out of the cubicle today?

( "All Things Workplace" has been selected as one of the 10 finalists for the 2009 Best of Leadership Blogs competition hosted by the Kevin Eikenberry Group. It's an honor to be selected. If you are interested in voting for your favorite, please vote at Best Leadership Blog 2009 by July 31st.)

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How To Help Yourself and Others Learn

What else are you learning about today?

It's easy to fall into the trap of focusing on our professional specialty. We feel pressed for time and, perhaps, default to the topic that's related to our immediate job. But is that the best way to get better at it? And, is it even desirable?

Dr. Ellen Weber at Brain Leaders and Learners has shown evidence that brains are not made for repetition. Ellen points out  "... that the brain is not wired to do the same things in the same way. Your brain is not even the same at the end of the day and it changes daily."

More and more, job candidates are asking potential employers, "What will I learn here?" If they don't like the answer they may keep on searching. For leaders, managers, and heads of projects, helping people learn is a critical contribution to both individual and organizational success.

How can you impact learning in your organization? Here are four areas to consider:

Four Effects of Learning

Effect on Curiosity: For every action there's a reaction. When we say or do something, people want time to react to it, talk about it, and understand what it means to them.

Practical Application: Allow time for questions and answers. The give-and-take after you speak is where people actually learn and where they begin to develop an affinity for, and commitment to, the topic. Even if you're an expert, the learning takes place as a result of people wrestling with the information or idea rather than being the recipients of a data dump--no matter how eloquent you may be.

Effect on self confidence: How you deliver and discuss the information impacts how people feel about learning it. People with position power--managers, supervisors, team leaders--all have the ability to build confidence in the learners or create a defensive atmosphere.

Practical Application: Tell the group at the outset that you value their questions and that you hope they'll jump in when they experience an "Aha!" or a "Help me, I don't get it." When someone asks a question, throw it back out to the group to give someone else a chance to form an answer that may be framed in a way different than your own. Thank people whenever they ask a question or offer an answer.

 Effect on motivation: Even as youngsters, we knew who the teachers were who made learning exciting, interesting, and engaging. Why not be the "managerial version" of your best teacher. And remember this: Managers Are The Mediators of Motivation.

Practical Application: Take some time to develop questions and break people into groups to address them; if you're talking about a new marketing approach, give people a block of time to do a concept and present it to the group. You know the content. The time you spend designing the right approach will pay off in engaged learners and, ultimately, effective learning.

Effect on Creativity: Unless you're involved in safety procedures, accounting rules, or a regulatory issue, people want to be able to offer their own "variation on a theme." One of the reasons to bring people together is to capitalize on the collective creativity and varying viewpoints in the room.

Practical Application: Give people latitude to take the discussion in directions that you never thought of. Remember, you're in charge--but to try to be in control will shut down the kind of learning that the group--and you--have an opportunity to experience.

Bonus: When the noise level goes up and people start debating, discussing, and delving into the topic, you've been successful. Let it go until the energy begins to die down. Then, capture the points that they were making with their co-workers and discuss next steps. When learners sit passively, you may feel more relaxed because you feel in control not having to respond to questions or manage the group. What it may really mean is that they aren't engaged, aren't learning, and are waiting "until the bell rings" so they can go back to their workspace.

But that's not all!

Here are some people whose topics and approach will have you looking at your own work from a different perspective:

Valeria Maltoni, the Conversation Agent.

Mr.Creativity Mark McGuinness at Lateral Action.

Contrarian Consulting's Alan Weiss.

Master of design Garr Reynolds and his Presentation Zen.

Drew McLellan at Drew's Marketing Minute.

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Leadership Reading You Can Apply

As we gear up (argh!) to start the week, here are two sources of leadership insights that will get your juices flowing:

Dan McCarthy graciously put together the July Leadership Carnival with articles ranging from Mary Jo Asmus' How To Silence Others to Static Leadership from Jim Stroup, Wally Bock's One Thing You Can Do To Supervise Better (he knows), and Michael Lee Stallard's advice for Intrapreneurs.

For another ten, Kevin Eikenberry hosts Best of Leadership Blogs 2009, complete with links to the nominated blogs.

So, kick back, open the RSS reader, and enjoy!

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