How To Help Yourself and Others Learn

What else are you learning about today?

It's easy to fall into the trap of focusing on our professional specialty. We feel pressed for time and, perhaps, default to the topic that's related to our immediate job. But is that the best way to get better at it? And, is it even desirable?

Dr. Ellen Weber at Brain Leaders and Learners has shown evidence that brains are not made for repetition. Ellen points out  "... that the brain is not wired to do the same things in the same way. Your brain is not even the same at the end of the day and it changes daily."

More and more, job candidates are asking potential employers, "What will I learn here?" If they don't like the answer they may keep on searching. For leaders, managers, and heads of projects, helping people learn is a critical contribution to both individual and organizational success.

How can you impact learning in your organization? Here are four areas to consider:

Four Effects of Learning

Effect on Curiosity: For every action there's a reaction. When we say or do something, people want time to react to it, talk about it, and understand what it means to them.

Practical Application: Allow time for questions and answers. The give-and-take after you speak is where people actually learn and where they begin to develop an affinity for, and commitment to, the topic. Even if you're an expert, the learning takes place as a result of people wrestling with the information or idea rather than being the recipients of a data dump--no matter how eloquent you may be.

Effect on self confidence: How you deliver and discuss the information impacts how people feel about learning it. People with position power--managers, supervisors, team leaders--all have the ability to build confidence in the learners or create a defensive atmosphere.

Practical Application: Tell the group at the outset that you value their questions and that you hope they'll jump in when they experience an "Aha!" or a "Help me, I don't get it." When someone asks a question, throw it back out to the group to give someone else a chance to form an answer that may be framed in a way different than your own. Thank people whenever they ask a question or offer an answer.

 Effect on motivation: Even as youngsters, we knew who the teachers were who made learning exciting, interesting, and engaging. Why not be the "managerial version" of your best teacher. And remember this: Managers Are The Mediators of Motivation.

Practical Application: Take some time to develop questions and break people into groups to address them; if you're talking about a new marketing approach, give people a block of time to do a concept and present it to the group. You know the content. The time you spend designing the right approach will pay off in engaged learners and, ultimately, effective learning.

Effect on Creativity: Unless you're involved in safety procedures, accounting rules, or a regulatory issue, people want to be able to offer their own "variation on a theme." One of the reasons to bring people together is to capitalize on the collective creativity and varying viewpoints in the room.

Practical Application: Give people latitude to take the discussion in directions that you never thought of. Remember, you're in charge--but to try to be in control will shut down the kind of learning that the group--and you--have an opportunity to experience.

Bonus: When the noise level goes up and people start debating, discussing, and delving into the topic, you've been successful. Let it go until the energy begins to die down. Then, capture the points that they were making with their co-workers and discuss next steps. When learners sit passively, you may feel more relaxed because you feel in control not having to respond to questions or manage the group. What it may really mean is that they aren't engaged, aren't learning, and are waiting "until the bell rings" so they can go back to their workspace.

But that's not all!

Here are some people whose topics and approach will have you looking at your own work from a different perspective:

Valeria Maltoni, the Conversation Agent.

Mr.Creativity Mark McGuinness at Lateral Action.

Contrarian Consulting's Alan Weiss.

Master of design Garr Reynolds and his Presentation Zen.

Drew McLellan at Drew's Marketing Minute.

Like this article? Subscribe to my RSS feed.

Leadership Reading You Can Apply

As we gear up (argh!) to start the week, here are two sources of leadership insights that will get your juices flowing:

Dan McCarthy graciously put together the July Leadership Carnival with articles ranging from Mary Jo Asmus' How To Silence Others to Static Leadership from Jim Stroup, Wally Bock's One Thing You Can Do To Supervise Better (he knows), and Michael Lee Stallard's advice for Intrapreneurs.

For another ten, Kevin Eikenberry hosts Best of Leadership Blogs 2009, complete with links to the nominated blogs.

So, kick back, open the RSS reader, and enjoy!

Like this article? Subscribe to my RSS feed.

Change, Transitions, and You

"Things do not change; we change." Henry David Thoreau

You've read the self-help books and sites that talk about the "comfort zone" and how you need to step out of it. Like much advice, it's a bit too simplistic. It's a one-liner that doesn't account for personal style and disposition.

My real issue is with the sweeping statement that "change" requires a lot of effort and mental energy.

It All Depends: What's Your Preference?

When you boil it down psychologically, there are two types of people:  those who score high on Openness and those who score low on Openness in the Big Five Personality Measures. Those who score low generally seek and love routine. They go to bed at 10:00, wake up at 6:30,  do grocery shopping on Fridays and balance the checkbook on Sunday.

Just as some could never imagine moving from  their hometown or giving up a steady job, others can't function that way. They are naturally curious, seek out new experiences, prefer complexity, and  "step out of their comfort zone" frequently. They don't need tips on how to expand their comfort zone. It's fun. What they often need is focus.

Regardless of which group you fall into, expanding your comfort zone just for the sake of expanding your comfort zone is a waste of time. If you catch yourself in the "I must change" zone, ask yourself:

• What am I trying to accomplish?

• How will I know if I've succeeded?

Do Something

Think about what you really want and what you need to do to get it. The start doing things that are related to it. If you are a "list" person, make a list. If not, just start doing. Some things will be easier to accomplish than others, but that's the point. It takes all of us some period of time to get over the mental barrier of expanding boundaries. If they are emotional, it may be a little longer.

It all gets easier eventually. The difference is that some people cross that bridge in 30 seconds and others hit a brick wall that seems eternal.

When I wrote my first blog post I waited three hours to press the "publish" button. Now it's what I do almost every day and I miss it when I don't.

Whatever you want to do, it will involve--by definition--change. Regardless of which category you fall into, do something.

It's called "living."

Like this article? Subscribe to my RSS feed.

Change How You Deal With Difficult People

I've been presenting a program for clients on "How To Deal With Difficult People" for more than 20 years.

It sounds kind of grim but is really a lot of fun. Why?

Because everyone has someone who "bugs" them. And, when they think long and hard about it, what bothers people most is actually something they really don't like about themselves. There are lots of ways to have fun with this and learn a lot at the same time without navel-gazing.

What I like best about the approach we've developed is that it isn't about coping with jerks. Why settle for coping? It doesn't really change anything.

Do You Want To Change Something?

Good. Then here's a little synopsis that I hope will help.

1. What really drives your blood pressure north?

Identify the triggers are that push your buttons by thinking about past experiences in which your "favorite"  person finally got to you.

What did they do?  That’s different than why it bothered you. Simply identify their actual behavior.  Was it the way they approached you? Looked at you?  How did they look at you? Maybe it was a certain voice quality or tone of voice?

2. How did you react?

Do you immediately blame them for how you feel?  Do you act distracted or quickly find a distraction? Disavow what’s really going on? When they do their "special" thing, what do you do in response?

3. What do you want from yourself? 

What’s the very best you can bring to the situation? Regardless of what they did, what would you do to be delighted with yourself after the interaction?

4.  What do you really want from them? 

Yeah, I know: "Stop that stuff!"

Not going to happen. So, think about this relationship the way the Cheerios people do on their nutrition label. "What is the MDR (minimum daily requirement) of behavior you can hope for and accept? Then start expecting nothing more. (it's quite free-ing, really).

5.  Has someone else learned a way to deal with this person?

 How do they do it?  Who might know how to do it?  Describe your situation in a way that combines "behavior-then-how-I-feel." No need to dump on the offender; besides, it makes you less attractive and less of a good candidate for help.

When you've reached a point where you have an approach, use it. We train our muscle memories to play tennis, golf, and other sports in ways that become unconscious.  You can train your nervous system in the same way. Think about this: if you do just one thing differently you may change the entire pattern.

Most importantly: Life is not what happens to us. It's how we respond to what happens to us.

And you are in charge of your responses.

Go for it!

Like this article? Subscribe to my RSS feed.

Non Verbals Across Cultures: Start Teaching It

It's easy to misunderstand someone from a culture different than your own--especially when it comes to non-verbals. 

Despite this, there's not much intentional training on nonverbal behavior in global corporations. Perhaps there should be. I recall my initiation into this special "world" as a new  management trainer in Saudi Arabia in 1979. Since then, the whole idea of cross-cultural teams and travel has become the norm. I'm not so sure that the same is true with purposeful understanding. Here's my Day One experience; perhaps you've had a similar one:

Real Life

Our support staff was made up entirely of Indian, Bangladeshi, Pakistani, and Thai folks. When addressing the group about an administrative problem, the silent responses ranged from a head shake (Indian) to downward stares (Pakistani and Bangladeshi) to a bright smile from our Thai guy. I took this to mean lack of concern or a misunderstanding--perhaps I wasn't speaking clearly. I finally left the discussion puzzled by what appeared to be a collective lack of concern.

By the end of the day the situation was, without fanfare, totally resolved. Huh?

It was only later that another native English-speaking manager with considerably more experience sat me down and gave me a million-dollar lesson in cultural non-verbals. He shared that the Thai smile signaled an apology; the Indian head-shake wasn't a "No" (a U.S non-verbal) but in fact a "Yes, I understand." The other two fellows were from cultures that didn't value constant eye contact while being engaged--but they were listening carefully and clearly engaged.

Teaching and Learning, Explicit or Implicit?

So: is non-verbal behavior something that can accurately be picked up by informal exposure to other people or does it need to be specifically taught?

A study by  Damnet & Borland (2007) (don't seem to be able to access this any longer) suggests it may be better to teach nonverbal behavior explicitly.

This study examined Thai university students learning English as a foreign language.

One group saw videos of native English speakers along with being taught the meaning of the words. While they were not explicitly taught the nonverbal communication, they were implicitly exposed to it.

A second group was purposefully taught about nonverbal communication in addition to learning the grammar and vocabulary. It was this second group that showed the best understanding of nonverbal communication.

In Organizations, It Matters

It can be tough enough during meetings and normal interactions to interpret the nonverbal cues from our own culture . Add the global nature of doing business and one would have to ask: Wouldn't it make sense to simply put this out there as a training program? It could be a lot of fun as well as highly educational in a way that would reduce unnecessary misunderstandings.

Add your own examples to the comments. It would be a big help to readers everywhere.

Like this article? Subscribe to my RSS feed.

Recognize the Seven Universal Emotions

This is useful to everyone, especially in a career world that is so overwhelmingly global.

You'll find "experts" on body language and rants about the meaning of this gesture or that one. Much of this is true, with one huge caveat: you have to be patient and carefully synthesize the totality of the gestures and mannerisms in order to develop some degree of accuracy.

If you are making a presentation, running a meeting, or in a management discussion, it may be more helpful to know what emotions are universal. This gives you a better chance at narrowing the possibilities of what kinds of responses you are really seeing. So, here goes.

The Seven "Universal" Emotions

These are common throughout all people and cultures:

• anger     

• contempt

• disgust

• fear

• happiness

• sadness

• surprise

Here's where it gets tricky:

There are 10,000 different facial expressions. About 3000 of these facial expressions are relevant to emotion and most people use only 50-60 in normal conversation. Those 50-60 do relate to the seven universal emotions.

These expressions can be "macro" expressions which last 1-3 seconds or even longer. An example would be a smile. The question: "Is the smile real or fake?" If fake, what does that mean? (Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar; people simply want to be polite).

We also make micro expressions that give up our more hidden feelings. These are like reflexes, because it's very difficult to stop them from happening since they are part of our brain's hard-wiring. That's why we get a "feeling" when we watch small discrepancies between someone's words and their expression.

These expressions last only 1/25th of a second. (That is faster than an eye-blink). Most people can't pick up micro expressions consciously. When viewed on film and played as slower speeds, these expressions look just like macro expressions. Many homicide detectives do this. If you don't happen to be looking for a serial killer, it's still a great way to watch what signals you give off when you are speaking or running a meeting.

How to Use This

The seven universal emotions are the ones that are most important to you. You want to know whether someone is angry, happy, etc., with your interaction. Memorize the list (or carry a cheat sheet) and increase your awareness of these.

Do: When you think you have enough visual information to believe that the person--or people--are, say, "surprised", don't make the assumption that you are correct. Instead, matter-of-factly state your observation: "You know, I'm watching the response to this slide and am getting the sense that maybe you are a bit surprised. Is that so?" This will lead to affirmation or will yield other responses that will help you--and them--stay or get on track. 

Don't: Try to be magically clever and tell them  you know how they feel. The last time you did that with your spouse or significant other, how'd that work for you?

Like this article? Subscribe to my RSS feed.

Looking for Hope? Stop Putting Things Off

Hope - "a confident feeling about what will happen in the future."

If you aren't feeling confident about some aspect of your work life, career, or business, chances are it's because you aren't acting to make it hopeful. You can't control what's on the news or in the news, but you can control what's in your news.

Hope and Action

Psychologically, Charles Richard  Snyder characterized hope as the will and the way to achieve your goals. More specifically, he defines  hope "as the perceived capability to derive pathways to desired goals, and motivate oneself via agency thinking to use those pathways" .

What does that really say?

• The first part involves feeling capable to create a reasonable plan of action (the "way")

• The second highlights the motivation to follow the plan (the "will").

Using this line of thought, hope is the opposite of procrastination.

Take action. Even if it isn't perfect, you don't have to get it right you just have to get it going.

Credit where credit is due: I had recalled an article I read some time ago that prompted this particular post. After Googling around, I found it. For the complete research study and the article partly paraphrased here, visit the excellent original by Timothy A. Pychyl, Ph.D. (with that name, his career was predestined!) at Psychology Today. 

________________________________________________

Something special tomorrow. I'm going to be doing a phone interview with Dr. Charles Polk, President of Mountain State University in the morning. Their action-oriented leadership program grabbed my attention because it's really how people "learn leadership." So, the post will give you a glimpse into what is happening with leadership education in two ways:

Becky Robinson of Mountain State has done a guest post for me that is to-the-point and explains their approach. I'll add some of the interview with Dr. Polk and, "Voila!"--some excitement about leadership education and its possibilities.

Like this article? Subscribe to my RSS feed.

Are You Really Developing Leaders?

"Most people who want to get ahead do it backward. They think, 'I'll get a bigger job, then I'll learn how to be a leader.' But showing leadership skill is how you get the bigger job in the first place. Leadership isn't a position, it's a process."-- John C. Maxwell

Respected leaders talk about the experiences that have shaped their abilities over a period of time, not their classroom learning. While intellectual endeavors offer a starting point and models for thinking about leadership, hands-on experience is the consistent theme in the lives of leaders who have been tested and found approved.

We did a survey of participants (senior managers) in four consecutive leadership development programs. They were asked what contributed the most to their leadership learning, confidence, and skill. The results were job and project assignments with workshops, seminars, and other methods well behind in the rankings.

So my question is:

Why aren't we  putting people into increased positions of responsibility so they can gain experience and maturity?

What do we expect from "real" leaders?

There's an entire industry built around Leadership. Graduate programs, consulting businesses, workshops, seminars, books, DVD's...I sometimes wonder if it hasn't become a cult in search of an idealized organizational savior. If that's the case for some, then the search will continue indefinitely but the conversation will be wonderfully angst-filled.

For those seeking a realistic and practical approach to building leadership abilities, maybe we need to start by asking:

1. What do we really expect? This is based upon each organization's strategies, value system, and the ability to bring in "the right person at the right time for the right leadership role."

2. Are we willing to invest the time, money, and energy to build mature leadership capability by purposefully putting people in positions of leadership? Are we committed to making an investment in a process?

3. If "yes," how will we do that?

4. If "no," then are we willing to change our expectations and live with the results?

If it's about speed, it isn't about maturity

The business climate now is about speed, quarterly results, and change. With people changing jobs so readily, it is almost impossible to develop people's abilities for the long run in the context of a single organization's culture and needs. When there was longevity as a result of commitment to and from employees you could track, train, develop, and promote much more deliberately. Companies had a sense of confidence about an individual's real capabilities because they had been tested and observed in different situations over a long period of time. You could assess, first hand, both skill and maturity under pressure.

Leadership and the "Project Culture"

With so much job-hopping due to corporate change and personal goals, the notion of a traditional "career" seems to be all but dead. Maybe we should get real and start to look at worklife as a series of projects. If so, then perhaps we're looking to develop leaders whose strengths include the ability to move in and out of new relationships and situations but who are adept at gaining trust and unifying people under those conditions.

One thing I am sure of: You can't microwave leaders and expect a 5-Star Experience

If we're genuinely concerned with developing leaders, it may be time to examine the validity and assumptions of our expectations. How much is driven by the cult of "celebrity leadership" or consultants and vendors who have never worked for any length of time in a corporation?  Are the criteria driven by agendas more akin to a "social experiment" or the realities of leading an entity through good times and bad?

Question for Today:

How will we influence (if we can) our companies in ways that define realistic expectations, create a series of leadership experiences, and allow the time and feedback for individuals to synthesize those experiences in a way that breeds the maturity necessary to lead effectively?



Photo Source: www.bren.ucsb.edu

                   

                                                                                                             

Like this article? Subscribe to my RSS feed.

Recommended Reading: "Rules of Thumb"

The subtitle lives up to its words: "52 Truths For Winning At Business Without Losing Your Self".

You don't see many book reviews here even though we receive many promotional copies. I do look hard at each one but, given my own business and personal priorities, I only write a review when it's a raving recommendation, like: Rules of Thumb: 52 Truths for Winning at Business Without Losing Your Self  

First, author Alan M. Webber's credentials are solid and you are probably familiar with some of his work already.

How so?

Webber is the co-founding editor of Fast Company magazine as well as former editorial director and managing editor of the Harvard Business Review. As such, he is able to deftly combine the best of storytelling with the best of business lessons learned by actually "doing business."

You say, "No, I'm not into one more business success book. Leave me alone!"

I'm glad you said that, because you are a candidate for one of my favorite rules of the 52: "Learn to Take 'No' as a Question."

If your real question is, "Why should I spend my time with this book?" my real answer is "Because it's an investment, not an expense." Really.

Want to know what's important? "Simplicity is the New Currency."

Wondering how to be a real player? Then you'll earn back your small investment with "If You Want to Change The Game, Change The Economics of How the Game Is Played."

Each of the 52 rules could be a book in itself. Webber has chosen to offer up a real-life story, real-life examples, and then a "So What?" for each one. You'll know what to do with the information because he's a practical guy who doesn't make you guess.

If you are a speaker, trainer, consultant, coach or executive. . .

Rules of Thumb: 52 Truths for Winning at Business Without Losing Your Self will spark your thinking for the next speech, presentation, or meeting. Leadership, Communication, Technology, and Customer Service-- they are all here in ways that reflect the new economy and new ways of doing business.

For those of you savvy enough to grab Pam Slim's  Escape from Cubicle Nation: From Corporate Prisoner to Thriving Entrepreneur, your move will receive an extra boost from following  Rules of Thumb: 52 Truths for Winning at Business Without Losing Your Self.

Kudos to both for sharing easy-to-read-and-use nuggets for the success-oriented in all walks of life.

Like this article? Subscribe to my RSS feed.

Go Ahead: Use This To Compare Your Personality With Others

It's Memorial Day weekend in the U.S., so perhaps you have a few minutes for contemplation.

If so, how about a personality test? This one is based upon what psychologists call "The Big Five". These are the five traits found to best describe people's behavior. If you are interviewing for a job, chances are your potential employer will use some version(s) of these to help learn more about you.

This assessment also gives you sub-divisions within each trait. For example: You may already know  you are extroverted; but how do you compare to others in assertiveness, gregariousness, and other related characteristics?

This includes 120 questions but doesn't take long to complete. Be sure to make a check mark in the two boxes on the instruction page.
The Assessment

Like this article? Subscribe to my RSS feed.

Did You Know? I'll Bet Not.

If you ever had the sense that information technology is progressing faster than we are, this terrific video is a must-watch:

Like this article? Subscribe to my RSS feed.

One More Way to Engage

The biggest learning challenge is not to get people to speak. Often it's getting them to be silent. And, to do it at the right moment.

Organizations can breed a  "you must know everything or else you know nothing" mentality and culture. The result? People show up with reams of data, slides, and the business story equivalent of War and Peace.

Yet engagement, by definition, is a joint activity. Trying to dazzle your audience with everything you know disengages them, makes you the center of attention, and makes you responsible for everything that happens (or doesn't).

Use the Zeigarnik Effect

The Zeigarnik effect states that people remember uncompleted or interrupted tasks better than completed ones.

This rather simple principle can help anyone who wants to communicate and engage more effectively. The next time you plan your presentation or speech, lay out the facts and then ask (sometimes rhetorically),

"What would you do next?

Or:

"We're going to take a 5 minute break and I'll show you how we plan to deal with _______."

TV shows do it all the time, which is why "Continued Next Week" drives us to schedule our time differently or double-check the TIVO. They know about the Zeigarnik Effect. And they know it keeps us engaged.

The online equivalent: top sites like Lifehacker, ReadWriteWeb, and The Business Insider. They all start with a provocative sentence or two. Then, you have to click to read the rest of the article.

Bump up engagement and find a way to "Zeigarnik" your training, presentations, or meeting breaks.

____________________

Speaking of Engagement: Join me tomorrow, May 12, at 1 pm Eastern Time and learn more about the link between Employee Engagement and Performance Management. The free webinar sign-up is at HR.COM. Kudos to sponsor Halogen Software.

Like this article? Subscribe to my RSS feed.

Amaze Your Friends, Make Your Next Meeting More Fun

OK, I'm lazy today. Sitting on the back porch watching the sun come up and the deer eat our flowers stroll through the garden.

So my friend GL Hoffman provided the solution to today's post. When he's not helping you Dig Your Job, he's kicking back and digging magic tricks with It's Not What You See That Counts.

Thanks to the heads-up from GL, here's the trick and how to do it. Your boss will really like it if you can give it the illusion of profitability as well.

Like this article? Subscribe to my RSS feed.

Fear of Success and Lasting Change: Part 2

When you think about the common factor in every roadblock in your life, here's what you discover: you were there when it took place.

My experience has been that people do realize this and are then faced with a choice:

a. to stay mired in self-defeating "See, I'm not really any good" thinking; or,

b. to commit the same act of forgiveness for themselves that they give to others. 

"Forgiveness" isn't a term you hear very often in business articles. But business is conducted by people--people like you and me who are very human and who are subject to the immutable laws of nature regardless of title or position.

Closure Is Really An Opening

When you consciously forgive yourself it leads to a sense of completion. This lets you move ahead and not feel compelled to repeat self-defeating acts over and over again.

But you need to understand why you held onto these for so long. There are (often insidious) payoffs for snatching defeat from the jaws of victory and failing to change.

Here are some some foundational questions that can help you understand what you are really holding on to:

• What am I afraid of losing if I succeed?

• Who do I think I'm punishing by doing this?

• What emotion am I not willing to release? (For many it's anger).

• What guarantee am I holding out for?

• By doing/not doing this, what do I get to avoid?

• How does this make me seem better or less than ____________(name of person)?

•Am I using self-pity to manipulate someone or some situation?

The big question: What do I hope to get out of pretending to be powerless to change?

Once you do the work you already know you need to do: pinpoint your fears and understand why you he hold onto them--you can commit the act of forgiving yourself and move ahead.

Bonus: A big part of your situation is that you are trying to "go it alone." Sit down with a trusted friend or associate and tell them what's going on. The like-minded experiences they share will not only amaze you; you'll discover that you are a member of a very large club.

Membership has its rewards.

Like this article? Subscribe to my RSS feed.

Fear of Success and Lasting Change: Part 1

Apparently fear of failure takes a back seat to fear of success in the search engines. After two years, I'm still getting regular traffic to an article I wrote in July, 2007 titled Fear of Success vs. Fear of Failure. When I say 'regular' traffic I mean every day. Really.

Getting what you really want in  your career and your life requires lasting change and a sustained vision of the future. This picture serves not just as an ongoing source of motivation to get there, it helps you identify and move through the obstacles that have held you back up to this point.

We Get The Failure Thing...But Fear of Success?

However, that vision quickly conjures up obstacles that include fear of failure and doubts about your own worthiness for success. If you're like most people, that also involves fear of actually achieving the very things you want.

Fear of success is a very unique issue that arises when you are genuinely creating change and moving forward in your life. The reason 'fear of success' is real is because the future is real and what we imagine for our future has an enormous influence on us.

The Problem?

We're pretty clueless how to deal with fear of success because it's in the future and, heck, how do we concretely live and deal in the future? If you think about your business you can see just how steeped western culture is in fixing the past. (How much time does your team spend fixing things instead of creating opportunity?) It's almost as if we drive through life focused on the rear-view mirror.

Creating and sustaining success involves some very personal "work." Fact is, the more you leave the task undone, the more your fears will control you. And the longer you put off taking small actions now, the bigger the dilemma becomes.

What Gets In The Way?

One of the real fears about making a personal change is that success will lead to loneliness. We know what our lives are like now and we have a sense that how we live has brought us friendships and love. In their most honest moments, many people have admitted that they fear success because they are afraid that being bold enough to create the life they want will make them different and, therefore,  unlovable.

Some fears are very real. When you change, the relationships around you will be forced to change. Some friends will encourage and applaud you while others are so grounded in jealousy they'll find ways to belittle you for moving forward. (You'll find out who your friends really are).

Here's what more than one of my psychologist friends has shared: "The deepest fear is that when we step up and succeed, we have to face the fact that we've always had the power to change and we could have changed a year or five years ago." Change comes from choices and we have always had that ability to choose.

But that's not all...

Whether you are reading this at work or on the beach, there are changes you want to make. So we won't leave you hanging with the problem. Stop back tomorrow for Part II when we look at the specific questions you can ask yourself to get the kind of forward motion you want in your career and your life.

Like this article? Subscribe to my RSS feed.

What, Really, Is Employee Engagement?

How do you define Employee Engagement?

It's easy to toss the phrase du jour around in meeting rooms and cubicles; but when it comes to commitment and action, there has to be a common understanding of what we're really talking about.

The more I watch Employee Engagement discussed, the more I realize that the people in the room are coming at it from different viewpoints.

The Conference Board researched the issue of definition and came to the same conclusion: different studies reflected different definitions of Employee Engagement. So they came up with a "blended" definition and some key themes that represented all of the studies.

The definition of Employee Engagement: "a heightened emotional connection that an employee feels for his or her organization, that influences him or her to exert greater discretionary effort to his or her work".

That makes sense and is easily understood.

What I think is truly helpful to those involved in creating Employee Engagement is the Conference Board's synthesis of 8 key drivers of engagement. These offer concrete targets for development:

• Trust and integrity – how well managers communicate and 'walk the talk'.
  
  
• Nature of the job –Is it mentally stimulating day-to-day?
  
  
• Line of sight between employee performance and company performance – Does the employee understand how their work contributes to the company's performance?
  
  
• Career Growth opportunities –Are there future opportunities for growth?
  
  
• Pride about the company – How much self-esteem does the employee feel by being associated with their company?
  
  
• Coworkers/team members – significantly influence one's level of engagement
  
  
• Employee development – Is the company making an effort to develop the employee's skills?
  
  
• Relationship with one's manager – Does the employee value his or her relationship with his or her manager?

What Do You Think?

For those of us who have to turn theory into practice, I like simple and concise one-liners that can lead to purposeful action.

How do you define Employee Engagement?

__________________________________

But there's more!

The ever-growing Employee Engagement Network begun by my friend David Zinger is a vibrant source--and discussion--of all things EE. If you haven't found it already, have a read...you'll want to join in once you get there.

Engagement by Mom: Wally Bock shows just how smart moms really are when it comes to keeping their kids engaged.

Reminder: Join me at 1 p.m. Eastern Time on May 12th at Performance Management Practices that Boost Employee Engagement.  HR Leader Kathy Anthony, of O’Sullivan Creel and I will tie together the software and people process elements of effective performance management and engagement. You can sign up here for free. The event is hosted by HR.COM and sponsored by Halogen Software.

Like this article? Subscribe to my RSS feed.

Purposeful Passion and Managing Engagement

No one I've ever met is actually against the idea of being passionate about one's work. But how passion is related to results, how it is channeled, and what keeps it going can generate a lot of buzz.

A good, hard look at passion shows that it is generated in great part by one's view of the value of that work, and not a mindless onslaught of emotional overload. As a result, the responsibility for channeling passion in organizations is the purview of managers and leaders.

Dr. Peter Vajda of SpiritHeart once noted that the soulful nature of a person's passion is "akin to an alchemic reaction that bubbles up from engaging activities."

Purposeful Passion and Engagement

What we're seeing here is the truth coming to the surface. Although passion may be an individual  experience, in the workplace it's the manager who is the mediator of passion.

Matching the right tasks with the right people breeds the kind of productive experience that offer satisfaction as a result of accomplishment. That kind of matching means that managers have to know their people well enough to know what their individual talents are--then use them accordingly. This does at least four things (you may want to add more):

1. It offers the opportunity for the company to benefit from the strengths that it supposedly hired.

2. It shows the employees that their talents are, indeed, recognized, and that they (the employees) aren't just "human" resources.

3. It shows the employees that their managers know "who they are and what they are all about."

4. It offers a genuine chance at a reality of "excellence" rather than "excellence" as a buzzword.

Maybe we should start referring to this as "guided passion": understanding the best of what people bring to the job and  managing  more deliberately  to help people become productive in satisfying ways.

Note: Look, there are tasks that all of us have to do, regardless of the work we've chosen. We not only aren't passionate about them, we don't like them. It's part of life and being an adult. Managers aren't there to "make people happy." Happiness is a personal choice. But managers get paid to produce excellent results. They can't achieve that goal without bringing about excellence in their people. And I don't think I've ever heard anyone express disappointment at the opportunity to excel.

Management Engagement

That's what has to happen to make all of this a reality: management engagement. Employee engagement implies that there are vast numbers of workers malingering on the job--and we have to "get them engaged."

I would suggest that there are vast numbers of managers who don't know their people well enough to orchestrate work in ways that lift people's desire to engage. There are too many mismatches going on out there.

It ends up being, in great part, a relational issue.

Managing is not an easy job to do well. But it's impossible if a manager doesn't take the time to build relationships that allow insight into individuals' strengths and desires when they show up for work.

The employment agreement is a contract: We, the organization, need to accomplish this; and we're hiring you, the employee (regardless of level), because you bring this to the organization

The manager's job is to orchestrate all of this.

I like the idea of Purposeful Passion.

_____________________________

I hope you'll join me at 1 p.m. Eastern Time on May 12th at Performance Management Practices that Boost Employee Engagement.  HR Leader Kathy Anthony, of O’Sullivan Creel and I will tie together the software and people process elements of effective performance management and engagement. You can sign up here for free. The event is hosted by HR.COM and sponsored by Halogen Software.

Like this article? Subscribe to my RSS feed.

When Silence Can Be Golden At Work

__________________

Mary Jo Asmus joins us as guest author today. She is Founder and President of Aspire Collaborative Services where she partners with Senior Leaders, "High Potentials", and their teams to support them in achieving their goals in leadership excellence. Mary Jo has been a frequent part of the discussions here at ATW and generously agreed to add a different take on Silence Is Not Golden Unless. . .

____________________

Trusting relationships that are formed through good communication are the foundation for leadership. 

When we think of what good communication means to us, we usually think of the words that are spoken.  Good communication entails so much more than words……including silence. “Not talking” can be a vital part of effective communication and great leadership.

The business world rewards us for our knowledge and for having the answers.  For most people, especially those in leadership positions, having a point of view and letting others know about it is a behavior that is encouraged.  Yet, holding back on our opinions and allowing silence to unfold in a conversation is an important way of engaging others, and assuring that all opinions that are important to making decisions are heard. 

Two Types of Energy

Carl Jung described a framework for the way we orient to the world that has great implications for effective communication and the power of silence.  This framework includes a “preference pair” that describes distinct and very different ways of communicating: extraversion and introversion. 

Extraverts seem to dominate leadership in our organizations and communities. They tend to be fast paced, sociable and energized by moving forward and taking action.  Extraverted leaders prefer to talk (rather than listen) – it’s how they think. Simply by talking, their brains engage, producing a sensation of forward momentum and progress.  In the extravert’s mind, this is how decisions are made, if only by them. 

Introverts are a calmer lot, more energized by thoughts and ideas in their inner world than by interacting in the external world. They require time and reflection to do their best thinking.  When given the chance, introverts will respond carefully and thoughtfully, generally waiting for a pause in conversation before speaking. 

How To Improve Communication

The good news for extraverts is that introverts are usually very good listeners. The bad news is, if they aren’t careful, extraverted leaders may never get to hear the wonderfully thought-out ideas that an introvert can convey. As long as an extravert wants to talk, the introvert is usually happy to listen. So how do you encourage an introvert to speak up? As luck would have it, introverts are usually quite comfortable with silence.

If an extraverted leader isn’t aware and intentional in their communication style, they can verbally run over introverts, never giving them the opportunity to express their best thinking. When this happens, some great ideas can lost to the introvert’s inner world.  “Not talking” can be a powerful tool for encouraging introverts to speak up.

Allowing silence in a conversation can require great discipline. Our world is noisy, and the temptation to jump into the silent spaces by wagging our tongues can be overwhelming. With practice and intention, leaders can learn to hold back. Conversation isn’t a competition (he who speaks first doesn’t win) and you’ll notice that if you hold off in a conversation with an introvert, they will (eventually) speak – and more often than not, with great wisdom.

Take notice of those who aren’t speaking up. Allow silence into the conversation by “not talking”. As long as you have good, trusting relationships with the people around you, you should expect to receive input that will help you to engage others and get their best thinking on that project, problem or opportunity. The wisdom you receive in return can be worth its weight in gold.

Copyright 2009 Aspire Collaborative Services LLC

Like this article? Subscribe to my RSS feed.

5 Ways to Connect With Your Listeners

You've been asked to speak to those folks in Finance. Maybe you've received a request to lead a meeting about that new killer project.

Just imagine how disappointed you’d be if the chosen expert/speaker/meeting leader had an alluring topic but the opening  failed to create interest and momentum. A big build-up followed by a weak opening is like inviting people to your home for a cozy dinner and then, while they watch, rummaging through the refrigerator for leftovers.

No need to agonize any longer for a special "how-to" that will keep you out of The Great Refrigerator of Life.

Here are 5 ways to open your talk or meeting that will capture the imagination and draw people deeper into your topic.

1. Ask a Question

Opening with a question creates curiosity and jump-starts the thought process. Thinking causes  engagement with your topic--exactly what you and the audience are hoping for.

2. Relate a Quote or Anecdote

A meaningful quote from a recognized authority can work magic to capture attention in those critical opening seconds. Anecdotes are brief stories that can give people a laugh or quickly establish the main point of your talk.

3. Open Up The Mind's Eye

Producing a mental image in participants' minds powerfully engages the imagination . You can activate the mind’s eye of your listeners by using words such as “do you remember when,” “imagine,” “picture this,” etc.

4. Refer To a Shocking Statistic

Spend a little prep time researching an interesting fact. People enjoy hearing interesting data, but only if it is startling, unique, and even shocking. (The statistic should be directly related to point you are making-- and accurate).

5. Use an Analogy, Metaphor or Simile

Analogies, metaphors and similes are some of the most powerful devices available when it comes to telling a story in a few sentences. This is a great way to capture attention and also provokes the kind of  mental imagery that allows readers to tell a story to themselves. Here is an example of an effective analogy:

"Pupils are more like oysters than sausages. The job of teaching is not to stuff them and then seal them up, but to help them open and reveal the riches within. There are pearls in each of us, if only we knew how to cultivate them with ardor and persistence."
(Sydney J. Harris, "What True Education Should Do," 1964)

 You know which of the techniques above are most comfortable and reflect your personality. Use the ones that are "you". As time goes on and you become more confident, add some of the others to your repertoire.

What other approaches can you share that have worked well for you?

______________________________________

What if you only had 60 seconds to pitch your value for a job interview? Garr Reynolds shares a unique process along with video examples that reflect how much you can do in a minute--and with some powerful results.

Like this article? Subscribe to my RSS feed.

Perfect or Perfectly Boring: There's a Better Way

Perfection causes stress. Stress is toxic. For that reason alone, trying to attain perfection in your presentation is self-defeating from the outset. Let go of it now. 

The human ability to sense another's nervous discomfort is not only exceedingly keen--it is contagious and stretches an audience's tension level like a taut rubber band.

If no perfection, what do people look for  during a "presentation?"

Connection and  engagement that allows them to experience the meaning useful information. The first two require humanity, which includes a degree of imperfection and vulnerability that prompts listeners to think, "Hey, (s)he's kind of like me!"

We want real people because we've come to understand that emotionless, perfection-emitting talking heads aren't connected  with our reality. When we sit through a flawless data dump of any sort--financial, research, engineering--we wonder why the speaker didn't simply send us a White Paper and call it a day.

Where Does The Perfection Thing Come From?

Let's be fair. If you are educated in the sciences, finance, or engineering, your college grades and professional performance appraisals relate directly to your ability to be precise. In fact, you are valued and rewarded  for precision. Discovery research, accounting and financial projections, aerospace engineering and quality control of all sorts contribute to the growth, safety, and stability of every aspect of life. 

So, it's only natural for many to extend that kind of well-rewarded precision and analysis to the  speaking platform. The problem? Lengthy, detailed, here's-everything-I-know-about-this-topic presentations that bore instead of score. 

But perfection isn't limited to the precise. It extends to an entire range of psyches seeking to avoid embarrassment, be seen as "the best", or believing that anything less than perfect will be punished. The causes for that kind of thinking are numerous and varied but the results are the same: unhealthy stress that touches everyone involved. 

OK, Steve, What's the Solution?

Find out what the person or audience wants to know about your topic.  Make a few phone calls, drop into a cubicle or two, and say: "I've been charged with talking about The Widget Launch. What do you need to know?"

1. Your audience will give you the content.

2. You'll feel confident about being on target because you'll know you are fulfilling an already-expressed need.

3. The "presentation" will feel like the continuation of a conversation instead of a stand-up routine.

4. Those in the room will start off on your side because you've already developed a relationship with them. 

5. "Perfect" loses its power when "meeting needs" replaces "knowing it all."

Let me know how it goes. . .

Like this article? Subscribe to my RSS feed.