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Bret Simmons

You are of course correct, Steve, we own our responses. I hear this, I teach this, but I have a hard time practicing this when the situation involves someone I need to trust at work that lies. Still struggling with that one... thanks! Bret

Steve Roesler


Well, that's darned honest and, I must confess, it remains an ongoing struggle at this end as well.

Denise Green

I find that I often need a sounding board who will help me recalibrate my response (and not just vent with me). I created a tool for my clients (Thoughts Upgrade). I also try to imagine how the jerk might be suffering (to increase my compassion and lower my anger). Love this post! It's inspired me to write. I'll link back with access to the Upgrade Tool. Or, just ping me for it at denise@brillianceinc.com


This post reminds me of how happy I am to be self employed! When I was still working for someone else, I did find solace in a book entitled - Dealing with people you can't stand: Bringing out the best in people at their worst. Just as you say in your post, the idea is the only thing you can control is your reaction to the situation. If we give our "Jerk" an unexpected reaction to their behavior, it can be great fun for you!
@Sorry Denise, I am too small for compassion. (At least for bad behavior in the workplace)



You are dead on with this advice. Conflict concerns so much more than simply reacting to a situation. Instead, you must redirect the behavior you are having an issue with. Finding a resolution is so much simpler than people make it out to be.

This is a wonderfully written article and I really enjoy your blog!

DeAnne Rosenberg
Author, "From Rage to Resolution"

Denise Green

Compassion is hard but, like forgiveness, it's a selfish act as it brings us some degree of instant relief. One of my favorite related books is Difficult Conversations. Here's the strategy I wrote in response to this one. Hope it helps! http://brillianceinc.com/escape-your-thought-induced-trap/


I have a jerk in my workplace but luckily I don't have to see him often


sometimes is hard to work with different peopple with different characters, the only thing which can help us is that, learn everybody's character in that, we can know how we solve our broblems which will come across us.

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