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Excellent points, Steve. If I could add one thing, it might be to recognize when you need to dip below the surface and explore emotions. Recognizing emotions is often what moves people into action (how often have we known of a situation where there is no movement - it may be because the emotions around it are blocked, negative, or just not acknowledged).

Thanks for the great post.

Steve Roesler

Indeed, MJ, let's make that #8, with the suggestion: "You may need to name the emotion that you are sensing in the other person. If they aren't used to comfortably talking about how they feel, you can be a big help by giving a name to what you see going on and asking if that's correct or is it something else?

As always, gracias MJ


I like the list. Especially the point on mundane things like an action plan. In my coaching, I often find people want leadership to be strategic and sexy, when a lot of effective leadership is about simple things done well.

I would suggest one additional point, which is to help people anticipate and prepare for obstacles they will hit when they attempt to apply new methods. A lot of the time I spend in my coaching is not about developing skills but in helping people apply the skills. It's inevitable that people will hit roadblocks when they try new skills and, if not prepared, the roadblock could end their attempt to grow. Effective coaches see the obstacle ahead and they discuss is, so the person is prepared and not surprised.

Would love to talk more about these ideas if you are interested.

Best regards,

Steve Roesler

Hi, Kyle,

Indeed, no problem there. Consider it added.

I"ve been at this so long :-) that I totally forget (or ignore) that whole "strategic and sexy" thing that you so accurately name. People who are thinking about, or just getting into coaching, should pay attention to that. I realized a long time ago that repeat business and solid referrals came from clients who were willing for us to "roll up our sleeves" together and get to work. It is all about application, getting things done, and getting things done more effectively than before we arrived.

No problem talking about the topic, Kyle. Thanks for taking the time to weigh in.

Best regards,



This is an excellent list. This really resonated: "The loudest statement a coach can make is by quietly asking a question, then remaining silent." Yes! And remaining silent and waiting for the "a-ha moment" can be the hardest but most rewarding part :)

Steve Roesler

Well said, Edsiusa

We seem to think that we are only doing something when we are active or talking. Yet how many people receive the gift of a question followed by the gift of silence with which to reflect upon it?

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